


Letting it all Go

by xxDustNight88



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Depression, Divorce, Doctor/Patient, F/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2017-12-07 15:09:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 74,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/749924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxDustNight88/pseuds/xxDustNight88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco is grieving over the recent loss of his wife, Astoria. Hermione was there when the death happened and might just be the only one that can save him from himself. However, Hermione has some demons of her own to deal with. Will they be able to save each other, or will disaster ensue?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ain't No Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> I have decided to post this fic on here as I love this sight so much! Also, this is a WIP and can also be found on ff.net. Due to circumstances I do not have a regular schedule for updating so please bear with me! Enjoy!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.  
It's not warm when she's away.  
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone  
And she's always gone too long anytime she goes away" -Bill Withers

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Hermione sighed. She could finally go home. She rolled her shoulders trying to loosen up a bit. She had been working in the hospital for over twenty four hours now. Some Healer had called off sick and she had ended up pulling a double, only catching a few hours sleep in the on call room here and there. She walked down the hall past her rooms full of now comfortable patients. Her relief was due any minute and she could absolutely not wait to get the hell out of here for a while. The beeping of the monitors and the sound of wheels from hospital beds squeaking down the hall were definitely on her nerves.

Speaking of her nerves; they were shot. There had been not one, not two, but three massive magic incidents in the past twenty four hours causing St. Mungo's to be more hectic than usual. Hermione reached the nurses' station, smiled at the head nurse who handed her some papers to sign, and ran a hand through her hair. It quickly got tangled in her obviously frazzled hair. She sighed once again and put down her quill. She quickly pulled her hair back and resumed signing her forms. She handed them back to the nurse who filed them quickly. Hermione put her charts away in the correct bins and waved goodbye to the nurse.

She briskly walked down the hall to the locker room. Upon entering she was glad to see that it was empty. She was so exhausted she had no desire to try and come up with some small talk with her fellow Healers. Not that she didn't like them, she did…but after such a long shift she wanted nothing more than to go home. When she turned the corner to her locker she was surprised to see a note taped on the outside. It read:

Hermione,

Thank you for pulling a double. Please take the next four days off as repayment. We are over staffed the next few days, and you deserve the small break. Have a relaxing time off!

Chief Healer,

Devon

Hermione rolled her eyes. She knew exactly why she received the extra days off…it was because if she didn't get enough sleep she would be a liability. Oh, and she was one of the highest paid Healers at the hospital. She frowned…she did need the times off though. She was beyond tired and it had been over a week since she'd spent time with the kids.

She opened her locker so she could change, crumbling the note in her hand as she did so. She tossed the note into a garbage can at the bottom and began changing. She removed her white lab coat and hung it on the hook as she slipped off her non slip white shoes. She pulled her top off, and dropped her pants, and then threw the scrubs into the hamper for cleaning. She quickly pulled on her favorite jeans, which were quickly followed by her faded, gray Hogwarts sweatshirt. She swapped her work shoes for some flip flops.

Grabbing her purse from the top shelf she decided to take a look in the mirror; she looked awful. Her eyes were tired looking and slightly bloodshot. She had bags under eyes and she could use some sun. Her hair was far from manageable at this point, so it would just have to stay in the messy bun she had put it in minutes ago. She shut the locker in disgust.

She rummaged through her purse looking for her cell phone. She and Harry had made all their friends and family get one in order the stay in touch. It was a lot easier than trying to floo all the time. She quickly found Ron's number and hit send. She wanted to see if she could pick up Rose and Hugo tomorrow so they could spend the night. She pinched the bridge of her nose as the phone went to voicemail. Ron never answered her calls; he always let her leave a message first.

"Ron, it's me. I've got an extra couple of days off, so I was wondering if I could pick up the kids tomorrow to spend a few nights. I had to pull a double so I'm just leaving the hospital now. Please give me a call back to let me know. Talk to you soon."

She turned the volume up and shoved the phone back into her purse. She and Ron had been divorced for nearly four years now. They had gotten divorced the year Hugo had gone to Hogwarts. They had both been unhappy for a while, but had wanted to wait to separate until both kids were in school. They didn't want them to be home during the divorce process. Surprisingly, both their friends and the kids had been accepting of the separation.

Currently, Rose and Hugo had a few weeks left before heading back to school on September first so Hermione thought it would be a great occasion to spend time together. The children lived with Ron most of the time because of her crazy schedule, and Hermione lived in a flat in Diagon Alley. They had bedrooms at her place. The kids typically spent a good deal of time at her flat during their holidays, but they also split their time with Ron. He probably had the children more than she did, but only because she worked so much.

Maybe she could even help them buy their school supplies. That was an idea. They could spend the time shopping in Diagon Alley and catching up. Rose would be going into her seventh year, and Hugo his fifth. Hermione furrowed her brow, where had the time gone? Rose had received her letter just last week informing her that she was to be Head Girl, and Hugo had made Prefect. Hermione smiled. She and Ron had done such a good job with the two of them, even with the divorce.

Hermione shouldered her purse as she left the locker room and headed down the hall smiling at patients and nurses as she went. She reached the nurse's station, "Alright, Abigail, I'm out of here. See you in a few days." Abigail, the head nurse, smiled cheerfully, "Sounds great! Go get some sleep! You deserve it!" Hermione gave a little wave. You have no idea…

She continued down the hall. She could see the evaluator. All she had to do was get on and ride down to the first floor where she could floo home to her apartment. She'd be home in five minutes. And even better, a woman had just hit the button. The elevator would arrive just as she reached it.

The waiting room area was just a few paces from the nurses' station, but on the opposite side. Hermione glanced into it as she began to walk by. At first it appeared empty, which was a great sign, but then she saw him. He was sitting in the far corner. Hermione stopped walking, her heart dropping into the pit of her stomach.

Oh no…not again. He's here again.

In the corner sat Draco Malfoy. He was leaning forward, elbows on his knees, and his face was in his hands. It had been over a month since he had been here last. Hermione distantly heard the elevator beep with arrival, the scurry of people hustling on and off, and the beep signaling it was leaving. Draco looked much thinner than the last time she had seen him…and paler too. He had always been a light skinned fellow, but this was different; unhealthy. He wore a simple black button up top and a faded pair of jeans; both were much baggier than they should have been.

Hermione took a deep breath and turned back around. She marched over to Abigail, "How long has he been there this time?" She motioned with her hand to the waiting room. Abigail looked confused at first, but realization finally hit her; eyes going wide.

"He's still there?" She shook her head, "I thought he had left last night. He wasn't there for a long while, and we've been so busy I guess I didn't notice he came back." Abigail looked upset at her carelessness. But their floor had been busy. Hermione couldn't be angry with her.

"It's fine. We should probably call for a Psyche Healer to come and get him again." Abigail nodded and picked up the receiver. Hermione turned her attention back to the blond haired fellow, her brows coming together. Why had he come back again after being away from the hospital for so long? It just didn't make sense. He had been doing so well…or so they all had thought.

Nearly eight months ago Draco had watched his wife pass away, right in front of his eyes, here in this hospital. It had been a terribly sad thing to watch. He had clearly loved his wife with all of his heart. For weeks after her death they would find him sitting the waiting room either crying or simply staring into space. It was ok at first, he was grieving, but then it began to become a problem. Day after day he would be here. They had started calling Psyche for him. It had worked, or so they had thought. Now here he was, back again.

"Ernie will be right down…"Abigail's voice stopped Hermione's train of thought. She nodded and began walking towards Draco. He didn't sense her approach so she kept moving forward. She sat in a chair near his. She knew he felt her presence now. His shoulders had tensed.

She cleared her throat, "Malfoy, what are you doing back here?" She was trying to speak as gently as possible. She didn't want him to be any more upset than he, clearly, already was. He picked his face up out of his hands, "Granger, it hurts. I came to be near her."

Hermione frowned and placed her hand on his knee, "They've called Psyche again. You shouldn't be here. It's not healthy." He took his hands and ran them over his face then through his hair, shaking his head. "I can't go back up there. Not this time. Not ever again. It doesn't help…only makes it worse."

She nodded in understanding. She got up and went back to the nurse's station. Just as she got there Ernie Macmillan, Head of Psyche, was walking down the hall. They smiled sadly at one another. "Where is he? The usual seat?" Abigail leaned over the desk, "Yeah, in the corner." Ernie headed over. In a second he had bolted back, "He's not there…"

"Shit!" Hermione flung her purse behind the counter and raced towards the waiting room. Sure enough it was once again empty. She turned around and ran back towards Abigail. She looked startled. Ernie had gone down the hall to check the room Astoria had passed away in. He came back shaking his head. Where the hell had he gone that fast? In realization Hermione's eyes went wide. She pivoted and ran for the stair case. She bounded up the stairs until she reached the roof. She was panting from the exertion as she flung the door open.

There he was, just like she had found him many times before. This time was different though, he wasn't sitting against the wall by the door. She wanted to sigh in relief when she finally spotted him, but instead she inhaled sharply. Draco was standing with his back facing her staring straight down at the Muggle road below. Hermione could hear the traffic. She swallowed hard, "Malfoy?" She tried again when she received no answer, taking a few steps forward, "Draco…what are you doing up here?" She was still trying to catch her breath.

"Saying goodbye."

No. No. No. No. No! This was not happening. Not under her watch! Hermione walked towards him even more. "Draco, you can't jump down there. You'll never survive." She was close enough now to see that tears were streaming down his face. His eyes looked raw. Her heart broke just by the sight of him.

He smiled sadly at the traffic below, "I can't do this anymore, Granger. Every day…every damn day I wake up without her and every damn day I hate myself. She was my sunshine…she kept me going. She saved me from myself. She changed who I was. I became a real person because of her, and now she's just gone…just like that. She's gone because of who I used to be. Even torching the Manor proved fruitless…I still feel the pain from her being gone."

Hermione bit her lip. She didn't quite know what to say. Where the hell was Ernie? Why hadn't he followed up here? She was slightly out of her element. Suicide was not something she had ever dealt with before. And Draco had gone through such a horrible loss no wonder he felt he couldn't take it.

Ernie had told her what had happened. Draco's wife, Astoria Greengrass, had loved being a Slytherin, but she hated that the Malfoy Manor was done in nothing but Slytherin colors and décor. So after months of begging Draco finally allowed his wife to redecorate. Why did he care anyway? His parents had moved to their chateau in France after the war and had no plans of coming back. The Manor could surely use a pick me up, and Astoria was perfect for the job.

The remodeling started last year after the happy couple had dropped Scorpius off at the train station. Astoria had worked hard over the next few months completely changing the color scheme of each room to satisfy her. Draco didn't have much input, he simply was happy that his wife found so much joy in making their home beautiful. When Scorpius had come home for the holidays he was thrilled at the changes. They had the happiest holidays they'd had in years. The Manor no longer looked depressing and, well, evil.

The day he returned to Hogwarts was when it happened. Draco and Astoria had returned home. It was a bitter cold day and all Draco wanted to do was sit in his study with a warm cup of tea and read a book in front of the fire. Astoria had kissed the top of his head and left him to relax. She wanted to work on the upstairs now. As she left the room Draco kissed her hand and she gave him a simple smile.

All was quiet in the Manor for a while. Draco had just gotten a fresh cup of tea and settled back in his favorite chair when he heard it. There was a deafening blast, a shatter of glass, and a blood curdling scream that could only belong to his beloved. He bolted from the room; his tea cup clattering to the floor, and his book nearly flying into the fire. He ran down the hall, up the grand staircase, and into the first room on the left: his father's old study.

His heart was beating wildly. There was a black fog in the room that quickly cleared with a wave of his wand. On the floor was Astoria. She was clutching her chest. She had small cuts all over her arms. She had obviously covered her face because there was nothing there. She was bleeding severely from her chest and abdomen. Draco fell to his knees next to her, "Astoria…what happened?"

She was having a hard time staying conscious, "Draco, I tried opening that cabinet and it exploded. I protected my face, but it shot glass at me. It was cursed!" Draco felt nauseous. He should never have let her try and come into this room on her own. His father had let the Dark Lord use it. Of course the entire thing was probably cursed!

Draco knew he had to act fast. He picked his wife up and Apparated them to St. Mungo's. Within moments Astoria was in one of the emergency rooms. Hermione Granger was demanding he tell her exactly what happened. As he retold the story to her he never took his eyes off of his wife. She had finally gone unconscious and looked dreadfully pale against the white sheets…never a good thing.

This part Hermione knew on her own. She had tried everything to stop the bleeding, but after she would close the wounds they would reopen. After a closer examination of the cuts she found tiny moon shaped pieces of glass in each wound. She would have to get Astoria to an ER and FAST! After hours of surgery all the glass was removed from her body. Astoria was not out of the clear just yet. She would have to be watched closely. You never knew the after effects of a Dark spell until days later.

As the days crept by, Astoria seemed to be on the mend. Scorpius and Draco came to see her every day. Hermione was going to send her home at the end of the week if all was well. When she had arrived Friday morning she decided to check on her patient first thing. She smiled as she entered the room. She was just about to say good morning when a horrible sight met her eyes. She chocked on her words and ran to the bed.

Astoria was a pale green and she was barely breathing. Hermione had no idea what had happened. She was fine the day before! She had Abigail notify Draco and tried to do everything she could. Nothing was working. No healing spells seemed to stop the decrease of health. Astoria couldn't even talk! The only thing that made sense as the reason to what was happening was that the little shards of glass had somehow been coated in an undetectable and slow acting poison. Not knowing about it before, there was nothing she could do. Astoria was going to die.

Hermione allowed Draco and Scorpius to sit with her until the end. Draco had screamed in agony when she passed away and poor Scorpius held onto his mother's hand and cried silently. She felt such sorrow for the pair. She wished there had been something more she could have done. Even after his death, Voldemort was still ruining lives.

Now, as Hermione stood on the roof of St. Mungo's she knew she had to stop Draco from leaving this world. "Draco, you have Scorpius. If you leave him, he'll be alone! Where is he? I can call him here."

Draco, never taking his eyes from the road below, replied, "He's with my parents in France." Hermione's mind was reeling. What the hell was she going to do? Suddenly it occurred to her. He felt this was his fault. He thought the whole damn thing was his fault. He was blaming himself! "Draco, this isn't your fault. There was nothing any of us could do. Believe me, if there had been a way, I would have saved her. None of us could have known about that poison…only the person who created the curse on that cabinet did."

"Granger, I have done so many horrible things to people in my life…I can't do it anymore. I mean, just think of all the things I've done to you…I'm nothing but a waste. I can't live with this guilt anymore." He looked back at the road. Hermione's heart was beating so loud she was surprised he couldn't hear it.

She swallowed hard, "Draco, look, I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago for everything that happened. We're adults now; there is no need to dwell on happenings from so long ago." She reached out to him. He allowed her to put her hand on his shoulder. She squeezed gently, "Come away from there. You have so much to live for; your son, parents, and friends."

He looked her in the eye. She felt that she might have gotten through to him. He looked at her hand and placed his own over top of it. He had turned away from the edge of the roof. She sighed, hoping it had worked, "You forgave me?" He inquired with a tilt of his head. She nodded, "Of course." Please let this have worked…

"Scorpius." It was just the name, but she knew he wanted to live for him and that made her extremely happy. They weren't out of the woods yet. Draco needed somewhere safe to stay; someplace where he could be watched. She knew Draco had nowhere to go because he had previously torched the Malfoy Manor in hopes of destroying everything evil. He would refuse to stay in the Psyche ward…

It's the only option…

"Come stay with me for a while. I know you have no place to stay right now…come stay at my flat. I have plenty of room." He was thinking hard, she could tell. He never took his eyes off of hers. He finally nodded. "Excellent. We can get you set up today. Let's go." She gave him a gentle push towards the stairs.

When they were back at the nurse's station Ernie and Abigail looked relieved. Hermione grabbed her purse while quickly explaining the situation. She had asked Draco to wait by the elevator. She just wanted to get home. It had been an unbelievably tiring day and it was only seven in the morning. She and Draco took the elevator to the floo room. Hermione could only think one thing…

What the hell am I getting myself into?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


	2. Beautiful Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione takes Draco home and her kids come to stay! Ron finds out...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided to post this fic on here as I love this sight so much! Also, this is a WIP and can also be found on ff.net. Due to circumstances I do not have a regular schedule for updating so please bear with me! Enjoy!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"He's as damned as he seems and more heaven than a heart could hold.  
And if I try to save him, my whole world could cave in." – Kelly Clarkson

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

They arrived in Hermione's living room. She quickly cleaned the soot off of them with a spell and stepped into the room; Draco followed. She motioned to the vibrant white couch in the center of the room, "Have a seat while I go and prepare a room for you. It will only take me a few moments." She watched as he sat down and placed his hands on his knees. He looked utterly lost and depressed. She only hoped that spending some time here would help him.

She walked down the hallway to the very end. On the right was a door that led to her study; she would have to convert it into a bedroom for now. She entered and looked around trying to decide what she could do with it. The walls were bookshelves full to near capacity. She had collected many books over the years. The floor was a dark hard wood and there was a matching desk in the left corner. On top of the desk were a few stacks of papers, quills, and her lap top computer. She allowed herself many Muggle luxuries seeing as she was Muggleborn. On the right side of the room were a red velvet couch and a coffee table that came with the desk. She transfigured the couch into a single bed for Draco and the coffee table into a dresser which she levitated to the front of the room. They would have to get some clothes for him since he would be staying a while.

When she was satisfied with the room she exited and entered the bathroom across the hall. The room was done in pale yellow and white. The shower had a white curtain with yellow daisies on it. Hermione frowned; the bathroom was a bit girly, but he would have to deal. She set to work cleaning it up and making sure there were men type toiletries. She even set out a stack of fresh white towels for Draco to use. She and the kids had a bathroom upstairs so Draco could have this one for his own personal use. She would have to remind the kids not to disturb it, but she was sure he wouldn't mind either way. Hermione yawned as she turned off the light and headed back towards the living room. She needed to get some sleep soon or she was going to simply be sick.

She smiled upon entering the living room; Draco was still sitting on the couch, but he was staring at her wall mounted television with a very confused look upon his face. He heard her enter and turned his body to face her, "What is that?" Hermione smiled and walked over to it. She picked up the remote and turned it on. Draco jumped a bit and then sputtered, "What the devil? How did you do that?" Hermione turned it off, "It's a television. You can watch shows on it. There are all kinds of shows. You can watch the news, dramas, movies, and many other things. It's a Muggle invention. I can teach you how to use it if you want. I have a lot of other Muggle appliances in the flat that you might like as well."

Draco seemed unsure of whether or not to trust Hermione and her Muggle objects, but he must have come to some sort of conclusion in his head because he nodded and looked again at the television. Hermione smiled to herself; she was going to have a good time showing Draco how to use the Muggle objects. It would be good for the Pureblood wizard to learn the ways of a Muggleborn. It might help him with the situation at hand as well…maybe it would help him get his mind off of his depression. There was no around it; Draco Malfoy was depressed and if she didn't do something to help him other people would, and she was certain that Draco would not comply willingly to that.

"Ok, Draco, let me show you where you'll be sleeping and give you a mini tour of the place. I want you to feel completely at home here. Anything here you have access to." Hermione motioned for him to follow her from the living room down the hallway. She stopped at the first door on the left. "This is the kitchen. It's my pride and joy. I've worked really hard to get it to my liking. I've got a brand new chefs kitchen, so if you like to cook feel free to use it." She led him into the room. The walls were a bright blue with white trim. The floor was white ceramic tile. There was an island with a few bar stools and the counters were pristine white. The fridge was the biggest Draco had ever seen. The cabinets were painted a cheery yellow that made Draco want to smile…although he didn't. The appliances, that had to be Muggle made, were yellow as well. Hermione was beaming. She loved her kitchen and she used it all the time. Hermione motioned towards a small television hanging in the corner, "I use this TV to watch the Food Network. It's a channel that is all about cooking. You might like it." She had noticed how he eyed her old fashioned stove as if he were itching to try it out.

She grabbed him by the wrist and led him into the room right across the hall, "Here is the dining room. It's not very big seeing as I rarely use it. And over there, that door leads to a balcony that overlooks Diagon Alley. There are a couple of chairs out there. I like to sit and people watch in the evening." This room was decorated in deep red and gold; very Gryffindor. The table was a dark wood with only four chairs around it. There was a wine rack on the wall opposite the door and that was basically it. Hermione was right; it was obvious she rarely used it. Draco looked at the door, "I didn't realize you lived in Diagon Alley. What are we above?" Hermione guided him to the balcony to look outside. It was clearly a hot day as people were moving slowly through the tiny street, "I live above Tina's Tea House and across the street is…"

"Flourish and Blott's." Draco smirked out the window. Of course the Know-it-all lived across from the bookstore. If the store hadn't been two stories she probably would have lived on top of that! "I should have guessed you would live near a bookstore." Hermione playfully smacked him on the shoulder with a little laugh, "Oh, stop it ferret!" she teased. "I can survive without living across from the bookstore. I haven't always lived here. I moved here after Ron and I divorced. It was the only suitable flat I could get at such short notice." She seemed distant and Draco vowed to ask her more about that later.

Draco chuckled at the use of the old nickname. He had nearly forgotten being turned into a ferret all those years ago. She backed away from the door and turned to face Hermione, "Care to show me where I'll be sleeping?" She nodded and took him by the hand once more. She led him down the hall and into his room; her study. "Here we are. It's usually my study, but for now, it can be called your bedroom." Draco looked about at the walls lined with books. He smirked. Of course she would have hundreds by now…she always did have her nose stuck in a book.

"It's a very nice room, thank you Granger."

She nodded and then heaved a sigh, "Well, I'm going to shower and then I can make us something to eat. Make yourself at home…" Draco nodded his understanding and then Hermione left him and went upstairs. The upstairs was smaller than the second floor, but it suited her. The first two rooms in the hallway were Rose and Hugo's. Then there was the bathroom with a linen closet opposite. The room at the very end was hers. She made her way to it and plopped her purse down by the door. She quickly grabbed her robe and some new undergarments before scurrying back towards the bathroom.

She turned on the water and dropped her robe and garments on the counter. The steam was starting to fog up the mirror but Hermione was able to get a good glimpse of what she looked like…and that was hell. Her ponytail was falling out and she had deep dark circles under her tired brown eyes. She heaved a sigh as she began to undress. She pulled her elastic from her hair and then got into the shower. The hot water felt like liquid heaven as it slowly eased the tension out of her body. She knew that she had to figure out what she was going to do with Draco…and what she was going to tell her friends and family, but that could wait a few hours.

Ron still hadn't called her back so she had no idea when she would be seeing her kids. She hated that she barely ever had time to see them, but they did live with their father most of the time. Plus they were in Hogwarts and soon would be on their own. Hermione was on her own, but that was her fault. Her relationship with Ron wasn't perfect and she didn't help the situation along…but that's another story.

After rinsing the soap from her body Hermione turned the water off and toweled herself dry. She swept her curly hair up on top of her head with a second towel. She quickly put on her camisole and underwear and then her robe. She headed back to her room to get dressed. Digging through her drawers she decided on a pair of soft black shorts and an over sized gray t-shirt. She was exhausted and as soon as she had something to eat she planned on coming up here to sleep. She took the towel off her head and hung it on the back of her door and put her hair into a messy bun; not minding that it was still damp.

When she stepped into the hallway she was surprised to find the air filled with the smell of eggs and bacon. Had Draco made breakfast? Hermione stopped in her tracks wondering why he would have done that. Maybe she just smelled Diagon Alley. Either way she shrugged and headed downstairs. Sure enough Draco was not in his room so she continued on to the kitchen. Standing in the doorway Hermione was amazed. Draco had made cheesy scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon. He also had a steaming cup of tea ready for her.

Draco turned around and upon seeing her motioned for her to have a seat at the counter. Hermione did and stared at him in wonder, "Draco, you didn't have to do this. I could have easily made us some breakfast." He waved his hand back and forth as if to say, "It's not a problem." He did say, "It's the least I could do for you helping me." He put some toast on her plate of food and gave her a smirk, "Now eat."

Hermione ate and it was delicious; apparently Draco had as much of a knack for cooking as she did. Maybe this arrangement wouldn't be nearly as bad as she had started to believe. They ate in silence, and once they had finished, Hermione quickly cleaned the dishes with a simple spell. Once the dishes had been put away they sat at the counter in silence. Hermione wanted to know if he was holding it together alright. She knew that he had suffered a great loss, but was he alright having to stay here? She herself had some demons but those were far different than the demons he was subjected to. He had been on the Dark side of the war. Somehow he managed to come back from that awful time and create a family, only to have his loving wife ripped away.

Yeah, Hermione's demons were far less scary. She had been trained as an Emergency Healer as well as a Therapist Healer. That's how she knew Ernie so well…that and the fact they had slept together a few times after her divorce from Ron. Nothing ever came of it and they both knew they were better as friends and colleagues. Hermione knew she could help Draco, but she needed to give him some time to think and heal. She wouldn't start bombarding him with therapy sessions just yet. First off he needed some rest and relaxation. Her apartment may be small, but it was cozy and comforting. He could have all the privacy he needed. Plus, if he wanted to, he could pop right down into Diagon Alley. However, she would have to place a charm on him that would not allow him to leave Diagon Alley without her…and also so that he could not harm himself.

Finally, Draco cleared his throat, "I think that I'm going to get some rest. It's been a really long night…well the past 24 hours have been rough for me and I think I need to sleep." He ran a hand threw his blond hair and stood from his chair. He walked to the doorway and turned back to face Hermione, "Thank you again for letting me stay here." Then he disappeared down the hall. Hermione released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding as she heard the study door click shut and stood. She walked to his door and pulled her wand from her pocket. Muttering a few enchantments she knew that Draco would be safe while she slept. She leaned her head against the door and thought, "Sleep good, Malfoy…" before heading upstairs to her room.

She pulled the shades so the room would be somewhat dark and crawled into her bed. She set her wand on her nightstand and snuggled deep down in the bed. She was more exhausted than she could remember being in a long time. Her life had changed drastically in the past 24 hours and she was worried about what was to come. She knew things would be difficult…she knew that there were would be fights, and she knew that her help may not even work. With a sigh of exhaustion Hermione fell into a deep sleep.

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Hours later Hermione was jarred awake. It took a few seconds to realize what had woken her—her cell phone was ringing loudly inside her purse. She threw back her blankets and stumbled from the bed to her purse. Cursing she dug until she found it, flipped it open, and put it to her ear. "Hello?" She managed and went to sit back on the bed.

"Oh, good. I was afraid you had forgotten to turn your volume on. I've been trying to call you for ten minutes." It was Ron, and he didn't sound overly thrilled. Hermione rolled her eyes and lay back on the bed, "Sorry, Ron. I was asleep, and apparently it was a very deep sleep. Did you get my message then about bringing the kids over?"

"Yes. That's why I'm calling. Can I bring them over before dinner? I'm going to this party tonight and they don't want to be left here alone." She could hear him rattling through the refrigerator.

"Sure, bring them over for dinner. I'll make their favorites…but Ron I have to tell you something…" He interrupted her, "Great! I'm sure they already have their bags packed so I'll go let them know and have them there in an hour. See you soon." He hung up.

Hermione growled and rolled onto her stomach. He never spoke to her for very long on the phone…or ever. Pushing back on her elbows she ran her hands over her face. She hadn't slept nearly enough, but it was time to get up, get dressed, and make dinner for her children. She couldn't suppress the smile that crept over her face. She had missed Rose and Hugo very much. She loved having her kids with her…if things hadn't been so horrible with Ron she would have stuck it out just so she could be with them all the time. Perhaps if she hadn't messed up big time she'd have even more time with them…

She rolled off the bed and pulled on a pair of jeans and a black long sleeved shirt. It was chilly with the air conditioning on in the evenings. The sun was starting to think about setting and Hermione flipped on the light. She brushed her hair and applied very minimal makeup. She wasn't trying to impress Ron, but she didn't want to look a mess either. She knew by word of mouth Ron had been seeing someone for the past few weeks. He was probably even going to this party he mentioned with his new girl.

She brushed through her hair and thought about Ron's attitude towards her. Sure they had gotten divorced, but that didn't mean he could be so abrupt with her. She threw her brush down on her vanity. Of course it did. She plopped down and frowned into the mirror. It was really her fault the whole thing had come about. She grudgingly got up and stormed downstairs. She didn't have time to dwell on her and Ron's issues right now; she needed to prepare dinner and Draco for the children's arrival.

She stopped in front of the study door and gave a few sharp raps, "Draco? Draco, are you up yet? I need to talk with you."

She heard movement and then Draco answered the door holding a book in one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other. "What do you need, Granger? I was pretending to sleep."

"Pretending to sleep? What are you on about?"

He sighed and tossed the book onto the shelf by the door, "I have a hard time sleeping because I get nightmares. Then when the nightmares end, the sadness envelopes me and I just want to be with her…so yeah, I was reading in the hopes that I might just pass out."

Hermione felt her face fall. She knew it was bad, but now up close she could see the deep purple circles under his eyes. He was looking down at her bare feet so she took the chance to look him over outside the hospital. He had noticeably lost a good twenty pounds and his jeans and shirt hung off of his body. His usually luxurious hair was lying limp and lifeless on his head. She thought he could use a nice haircut.

"Alright, Draco, enough with this pretending to sleep thing. Come help me make dinner. We have some important things to discuss." He nodded and followed her to the kitchen. Hermione went to the refrigerator and pulled out some lemons, limes, chicken, lettuce, and tomatoes. She then set up at the counter, "I'm going to make lemon lime grilled chicken with a salad. My kids love it for some reason."

Draco gave her an odd look and joined her by the counter, "Kids?" He reached for the lemon and held it up, "Are your kids here?"

Hermione got out her cutting board and a knife to begin chopping up the chicken. Once she was done she set it aside and began to zest some limes, "Actually, yes. Ron is supposed to be bringing them by. I'm off for a few days and it's my turn to have the children." She put the zest in a bowl and then reached for the lemon Draco held, "Ron and I share custody. He's had Rose and Hugo most of their summer break because of my schedule at work, but I'm off now, and I'll probably take off until they head back to Hogwarts. I just have to call in a request with the hospital." She added the lemon zest to the bowl and then added some olive oil, salt and pepper, as well. "Will you squeeze the juice from the lemon and lime into that salad bowl right there?"

"So, how did Weasley take the news of me being here?" he asked as he squeezed. He then added some olive oil, vinegar, salt, pepper, and a pinch of sugar and red pepper flakes to add a bit of spice.

Hermione handed him the lettuce to tear and add to the bowl. She then put the chicken in her bowl and coated it with her marinade. "Well, that's the thing. I tried to tell him, but he cut me off…he does that a lot…and said he'd be over in a bit with the kids." She began spreading the chicken on her heated grill pan.

"You do realize he's going to be furious when he finds out that I'm here."

Hermione rolled her eyes as she flipped the chicken, "Yes, he'll be livid. Now cut up those tomatoes for the salad."

Draco went looking for another cutting board and discovered something hidden in the back of her bottom cupboard. He moved a board to the side and stared at his discovery. There in the back were five large bottles of white wine, and eight full bottles, and one half empty bottle, of fire whisky. Glancing up at Hermione, he was glad to see she didn't have a clue he found her hidden stash of alcohol. It was a very curious thing indeed.

After locating the cutting board he went back to his spot at the counter to cut the tomatoes and acted like nothing had happened, "So what's your plan?"

She was currently setting plates, knives, and forks on the counter. She grabbed some glasses out of the cupboard and added those to the pile. She levitated everything into the air, "I think it's best for you to stay in the study until I explain everything to him. I'll send the kids upstairs to put their bags away. It should be aright…" she walked out of the room to set the table in the dining room.

In the kitchen Draco was trying to figure out when and how to ask Hermione about the liquor. He knew she had a wine rack in the dining room, but why did she have all the extra booze hidden in the kitchen? Hermione returned before he came to a final decision to put the finished chicken on a serving plate, "Do you mind tossing the salad?"

He took the tongs and began tossing the salad so the dressing he prepared at the bottom coated the lettuce and tomatoes, "Look, Granger, can I ask you something?"

She gave him a questioning look, "Sure, what is it?"

"In that cupboard…I found something."

Suddenly the floo sounded from the living room. Hermione panicked, "Oh! Hold that thought! Hurry into the study. I'll get you when the time is right." Draco rolled his eyes and did as he was told, for once.

Waving her wand to keep the chicken warm, she held her head high and walked into the living room, "Rose, Hugo, I'm so happy to see you!" She opened her arms as her two red headed children ran to her.

"Mum! I got my letter! I made Head Girl!"

"I got my letter too mum, I've been made a Prefect!"

Hermione kissed the tops of their heads, "That's fantastic you two! Now scurry upstairs and deposit your bags. We've got lemon lime chicken for dinner!"

The kids flew out of the room and Hermione turned to face Ron. He had a sour expression on his face, the norm for when he was visiting her, and was wearing deep green dress robes. He was obviously going to a fancy party. Hermione decided to just come out with it.

"Ronald, I have to tell you something very important. Will you have a seat?" She motioned towards the couch. He gave her an odd look but did as asked. Hermione sat down next to him. "Do you remember how I went though extra training to become a Therapist Healer?" he rolled his eyes but nodded, "Okay, good. Well I've taken on a therapy case for a patient that is in immense grieving over the loss of a loved one."

Ron leaned back and scrutinized his ex-wife, "So what does this have to do with me?" He flicked a piece of lint off his robes.

"Well, because of the circumstances, the patient will be staying here, with me, for a while. I wanted to let you know because of the children. They will in no way be harmed or bothered by him."

Ron leaned forward, "I guess it's nice that you told me. Who is this patient?"

Hermione closed her eyes and slowly opened them, "Draco Malfoy."

All was quiet for a moment as the name settled down upon Ron's mind. Then, suddenly he was standing in front of Hermione, "WHAT! Absolutely not Hermione! What in Merlin's name are you thinking? I will NOT have that Deatheater living under the same roof as my children. He leaves or they leave!"

Hermione rose to her feet with all the dignity she could muster, "Ronald Weasley, they happen to be my children as well, and I am a certified Therapist Healer. Malfoy has been cleared of all charges as a Deatheater, so there is no reason to call him as such. The war has been over for 25 years. He had a loving family. He has a son. He lost his wife! He can stay in my house if I say so. He is here to be healed, not to hurt my children! So can you either leave or stop talking about him in such a rude manner." She was breathing heavy and crossed her arms to glare at her ex.

Ron opened and closed his mouth a few times before deciding on what to say, "You know what Hermione, I have someplace to be, but this discussion is not over by any means. And as for our children, if I need to take full custody to keep them away from that monster, I will!" With that said he turned on the spot and apparated with a 'pop'.

"Fuck."

She heard laughing from the doorway and whipped around to find Draco casually leaning against the doorway, "Please tell me my children didn't hear me swear?"

He shook his head and walked into the room, "No, but they did hear you two fighting. Your yelling pretty much shook the entire apartment down." He smirked.

She scoffed, "Oh, come off it. Get the food on the table and I'll call Rose and Hugo down. This wouldn't be the first time they heard us fighting."

Draco nodded and went to fetch dinner.

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An hour and a half later the dinner plates were all cleaned up and Rose was upstairs reading. Hugo was probably playing his video games. Hermione and Draco were sitting in the living room having some tea. Draco was running through dinner in his head. Rose and Hugo were actually very nice to him. Apparently, Rose and Scorpius were rivals at school; although, they were nothing compared to how he and Hermione used to be.

Dinner had gone smoothly though. Hugo was absolutely friendly and very talkative, just like his mother used to be. Maybe staying here wouldn't be so bad after all. He was just about to say what lovely children she had when the floo lit up and Harry Potter's annoying head popped into view.

Hermione nearly spit out her tea, "Harry! What on earth are you doing floo-ing so late? Is everything all right?" She set her tea on the coffee table.

Harry shot a glare in Draco's direction, "According to Ron, everything is not alright. He told me, but I had to see it with my own eyes. Why do you have Malfoy staying with you?"

Hermione rubbed her face with her hands, "I'm his doctor, Harry. He needs a Therapist Healer and a safe place to stay…so I volunteered."

Harry shook his head, "What the bloody hell, Hermione?"

"Harry, I told Ronald, and I will tell you; this is my home and it is my job…I will do as I wish. You can either be supportive or jump on the psychotic train with Ronald."

Harry pursed his lips and shook his head, "I will hold any more judgment for now, but I suggest you work things out with Ron. I think he might have been serious about the custody issue." With a nod he disappeared out of the fireplace.

"That went well." Draco drawled.

Hermione closed her eyes and counted to ten. She opened her eyes back up and turned to look down at her houseguest, "Draco, I think I need to show you something."

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	3. Dance in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione shares her secret and Draco has to deal with her issues...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided to post this fic on here as I love this sight so much! Also, this is a WIP and can also be found on ff.net. Due to circumstances I do not have a regular schedule for updating so please bear with me! Enjoy!

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"Baby loves to dance in the dark. 'Cuz when he's lookin'  
She falls apart." – Lady Gaga

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Hermione made sure the children were indeed in bed and fast asleep before returning to the living room where she had left Draco sitting. She stopped just inside the doorway and observed him. He was turning the remote to her television over and over in his hand. She smiled. He would most certainly be trying that out within the next few days; she knew his curiosity would win over his mistrust of anything Muggle.

She cleared her throat and he dropped the remote onto the couch before standing up to face her. She took a step towards him and held out her hand. "Malfoy," she cleared her throat, "Draco…I'm ready to show you my secret now."

His brow furrowed, but he took her hand anyways. She tightened her hold and led him into the kitchen, "Sit." She stated motioning for him to sit at the counter. He watched as she pulled two large wine glasses from the cabinet. She placed them side by side in front of Draco and then sat down on the other counter chair. She glanced at the wine glasses and closed her eyes. Draco wondered what was going on inside her head and why she had placed the empty glasses in front of him. He waited patiently for her to explain.

After a few moments he heard her take a deep breath, when he glanced back at her; her eyes were open once more and she was staring intently at him. He took in the paleness of her face and the frizziness of her hair. She really still looked the same as she always had, but he could tell by the troubled look in her eyes that something was bothering her.

Hermione was unsure of how to begin but she knew that if she didn't tell him tonight, he would find out eventually. She cleared her throat, "Draco, I'm an alcoholic." When he didn't respond or show any emotion, she continued, "I have been for quite a while now…about six years actually." She got up from the counter and bent to the cabinet where Draco had stumbled upon her liquor earlier, "I keep a stash of wine and firewhisky down here behind a board so no one finds it…but it looks like you might already know that." She finished as she placed the half empty bottle of firewhisky on the counter then stopped to fix the board Draco had disturbed earlier. She raised an eyebrow as an inquiry.

Draco smirked and leaned forward to take the bottle from her. He poured some into each of the wine glasses before setting the bottle back in front of her. "Yes, I stumbled upon it earlier, but I had no idea what it meant. It's actually what I was trying to ask you before Weasley showed up."

Hermione snorted, very unladylike, and sat back down, "Oh, Ron; he's the reason I drink."

"Interesting." He reached for his glass and took a sip. Hermione reached for hers and downed the entire thing. She didn't even sputter as the hot liquid went down her throat. Draco stared at her in wonder. "So, you do this often then?"

Rolling her eyes, she added more whisky to her glass, "Obviously. I did say that I'm an alcoholic."

"You're not getting treatment then?"

"Well, no one but Ron knows…and now you."

He sipped his beverage and evaluated the situation before him, "Alright, so you're an alcoholic, but only your ex-husband knows…how does that work?"

Finishing her second glass she set the bottle aside, for now. She stared at Draco's glass, wishing it was possible for her to only take little sips at a time, whereas she liked to down the whole glass at once.

"After Rose went away to Hogwarts for her first year, I began to drink more than just my usual one glass of wine a night." She splayed her left hand out on the counter and looked at her empty ring finger, "Ron began spending more and more time away on Auror missions and Hugo was still young enough that I was forced to stay home with him. I was lonely and just wanted my husband home with me, but the thing was, I loathed him. I hated that he would leave me for weeks at a time to run off gallivanting with the other Aurors while I was stuck at home with Hugo. Mind you, I love Hugo to pieces, but Harry never left Ginny alone with their children. Harry only took missions close to home. So inevitably, I began to drink three or four glasses, maybe even the entire bottle of wine, a night."

Draco stayed silent while she told her tale and watched as she drank down two more glasses of whisky. He could tell she was becoming tipsy, but chose to keep his mouth shut. It wasn't really his place to say anything.

She emptied her glass again before continuing. "Ron and I began to fight about the subject, so reluctantly, he quit being an Auror and went to work with his brother, George, at the joke shop. You would think that with him being home more often it would make things better; that we would go back to being a happy family and my drinking would stop, but it didn't. Instead we fought more; he still spent too much time at work and not enough time at home…and I moved from wine to firewhisky." As if to emphasize the point, she took another drink.

"Then, one night during Rose's second year at school, Ron came home from work earlier than usual. Hugo was in bed and I was trashed, puking in the bathroom. Up until then, Ron had no idea about my drinking, but when he found me in the bathroom, empty bottle of Odgen's next to me, he knew. He helped me clean up and then carried me into our bedroom. I was crying hysterically asking him to make the pain go away. And you know what he said?"

Draco raised his eyebrows and shook his head. Foregoing refilling her glass, Hermione took a swig from the nearly empty bottle, "He told me, 'Fine, Hermione, I'll make the pain go away. I'll make my pain go away. When Hugo leaves for school at the end of the summer, I want a divorce.' Of course that made only made me cry harder, but what could I do? I was drunk and upset; I didn't really love him anymore. So I agreed and he left me alone that night, and every night after. I thought that he would tell everyone about my drinking and make a fool out of me, but he didn't. I think he was embarrassed he hadn't known about it sooner and put a stop to it. As soon as Hugo and Rose left for school the following September, Ron and I filed for divorce stating that we had 'irreconcilable differences'. No one even blinked an eye at our divorce; I think most of our family and friends knew we were having some kind of problems. Ron kept the house and made me move out, so I bought this flat. He promised we would have joint custody of the children, but after I quit my job at the ministry and started Healer training, he ended up having them more often than me."

Draco was surprised to hear how she and Weasley had come to be divorced. He had heard that they simply didn't work out. Weasley had certainly made sure one knew his wife was a drunk. He really was a little weasel, wasn't he? He glanced at the empty bottle and then at his still half full glass. He pushed it towards Granger and watched as she eager drank the contents. She was indeed a lush, wasn't she? "So, Granger, do you drink like this every night?"

She laughed drunkenly, "Certainly not. I have come a long way since the early days. I usually only drink when I have to deal with Ron…like tonight." She tried to stand up from her chair but stumbled right back down, "I can go days or even weeks without drinking a single drop, I have to because of my job, but damn it, as soon as I have to deal with that bloody bastard, here I am, totally cankered." She flew into a fit of giggles.

Draco got up and threw the empty bottle into the trash. He then took their glasses and proceeded to wash them, dry them, and put them back into the cupboard he had seen her pull them out of. He turned to look at her. Her eyes were blood shot, she was swaying on her seat, and unknowingly to her, and she had tears running down her cheeks. That bastard, Weasley, really had no idea what he had done to her, did he? Here he was staying with Granger so that she could provide him with therapy, when in reality; she was the one who probably needed the therapy.

What the bloody hell was he going to do?

He could leave and go back to the Manor…after he had tried torching it, his mother had started to rebuild it. She would probably love to have him back home. In fact she had said as much every single time she had come to St. Mungo's to sign him out of the Psych Ward. Even though the Manor probably looked completely different, there was no way he could do that right now. Too many memories of Astoria lingered there. He had fallen in love with her there.

"Granger, if you're not up to me being here, I can certainly leave. I can find somewhere else to stay. There's always the Leaky Cauldron or another hotel."

Hermione held onto the counter to steady herself as she gingerly stood from her seat, "Don't be ridiculous, Malfoy. I asked you to stay here so I could give you therapy, and I will do just that. I just can't promise that I'll be sober every single night. Remember, I only drink at night after my children are asleep." She tentatively took a few steps towards the door.

Draco was watching her with his arms crossed as he leaned against the refrigerator. Hermione was swaying on her feet; it was a miracle she was even standing. Odgen's Old Firewhisky was the strongest in the Wizarding world and she had consumed almost half a bottle. He remembered getting sloshed on it many times after the War had ended—before he had gotten with Astoria.

Hermione was nearly to the doorway when she lost her balance and plunged forward. "Bollocks!" she yelled throwing out her arms to stop the blow of the doorframe; but the pain never came. She opened her eyes to realize that Draco had somehow caught her just in time. It wouldn't have been the first time she fell drunkenly, but it was definitely the first time someone had been there to catch her before she hurt herself. She began to cry, "Oh, I'm so sorry. It's your first night here and I'm a disaster."

Draco let them slide to the floor never letting go of her petite form. He never noticed because he was always so distracted at the hospital, but she was certainly much slimmer than she had been back in Hogwarts, and that was saying something seeing as she had two children. He helped her sit on the floor and hoped that her children hadn't heard her shout.

"It's alright, Granger, no need for the tears. Everyone gets drunk and falls down sometimes. Do you need help going to bed?"

She nodded and wiped her face on the sleeve of her shirt. She was really embarrassed. Here she was sobbing and a drunken mess in front of her school nemesis. He probably thought she was a nutcase. This thought caused her to laugh and Draco was now officially staring at her like she was insane, "I just had a funny thought, but never mind that. If you wouldn't mind just helping me up the stairs, I can make it from there."

He nodded and stood bringing her with him. She closed her eyes at the head rush she felt at moving so quickly. Hermione turned off the kitchen light and then they began their way down the hall. Hermione's head was already pounding from the effects of the whisky. Tomorrow morning she would need some of her hangover potion for sure. Just as they were passing the study, Hermione felt a wave of nausea.

"Oh, no…" She let go of Draco's arm and bee-lined into the downstairs bathroom. Throwing herself on the floor she flung the toilet seat up and as the entire contents of her stomach made a spectacular reappearance. She was sick for a good ten minutes, and when she was finished she flushed the toilet and sat back against the tub. She grabbed a spare washrag and wiped her sweaty face and mouth. She looked up into the doorway and found Draco leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. He was watching her with concerned eyed that brought fresh tears to her eyes.

At seeing her start to cry, Draco pushed himself away from the doorframe and knelt down to her, "Are you alright?" He tried to catch her eye, but she was doing a good job of staring at the tiled floor.

She shook her head causing her frazzled hair to flop back and forth. She smelled of sour whisky, sweat, and tears. She felt like a train had hit her. But the worst part of the entire situation was that she'd felt this way before. The only difference this time was that Draco was there being ridiculously nice when he really had no right to be. Actually, that was probably the worst part of the situation.

"No. I feel like shit, to be honest."

"That's to be expected."

"Yes. I guess you're right." She pushed herself up to sit on the side of the bathtub. "I really need to get to bed. It's really late, and the kids will be up and expecting a trip into Diagon Alley in the morning. You heard them at dinner; they're beyond excited for this upcoming year."

"Then let's get you to bed, shall we?"

She nodded and allowed him to help her up once more. This time they made it upstairs and even all the way into her bedroom without any problems. Draco helped her pull back the bed sheets and turned around as she undressed. When she coughed he knew it was safe to turn around. She was propped up against her pillows, and she looked dreadful. She was going to be feeling the effects of tonight all day tomorrow.

"Well, I'll let you get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning." Draco turned to go and was almost at the door when Hermione stopped him.

"Malfoy, will you turn off the light?"

"Sure, Granger." He clicked the light off and grabbed the bedroom door to close on his way out.

"Actually…" he stopped walking, "Will you sit with me for a minute? My head is feeling a little clearer, and I have a few questions I want to ask you."

With a sigh he walked back into the room and closed the door so the children wouldn't hear them talking. It was surprisingly dark in the room, but he didn't dare turn on the light—it would only make her sick. There was a small glow from her alarm clock.

"Thank you."

"Sure. I figured the questions would start eventually…why not when you feel like shit?"

"Don't be rude, Malfoy."

"I have a question of my own: Why do you switch from calling me Malfoy or Draco?"

She tilted her head, "It depends on my mood. If I'm irritated with you, it's Malfoy; if things are peachy, it's Draco."

"Of course."

She smoothed down her quilt, "Be nice, please. I'm just curious about a few things."

He leaned back against the bottom part of her bed, "Alright, Granger, I'll play nice since you're not feeling one hundred percent."

"Thank you." She took a deep breath and decided just to get started, "Why did you agree to come stay here?"

Of course she would start with the most difficult first. He decided to just be honest, "Because my life really couldn't get much worse than it is right now, so I figured; what the hell? Just let the Know-it-all try a whack at fixing me."

"What if I can't fix you?"

"Then I guess…I might just not survive this thing."

Hermione inhaled sharply, "Please, don't say that."

"Granger, attempting to jump off the roof yesterday was not my first shot at ending my life."

She shifted, "I know. Ernie told me about it before we left the hospital. You were still inside the Manor when you set fire to it. Before that you tried slitting your wrists. You also drank some sort of potion. Your son found you that time."

Draco scowled at her for knowing so much about him. He was getting agitated talking about himself and his suicide attempts. "Here's the thing Granger, after Scorpius found me I refrained from hurting myself as far as that again. Yesterday was the first time in a while that I was feeling ridiculously low."

"Why was yesterday so different?"

"It was our anniversary."

"Oh."

They were quiet for a while. Hermione played with a string that was hanging on the corner of her quilt and Draco was fidgeting with a button on the cuff of his shirt. Hermione looked up and watched him for a minute.

"We can get you some clothes tomorrow."

"Alright. Did you want to go to bed now?"

"Soon…right now I want you to roll up your sleeves."

"What?" He stared at her if she had sprouted another head, "You're joking with me right?"

"No, Draco, I'm not." She crawled down the bed and kneeled in front of him. She wasn't bothered by the fact that she was only wearing panties and a large t-shirt. She needed to see something to find out if her suspicions were correct.

He groaned, "Fine." Draco took his time unbuttoning the sleeves and then rolled both up to his elbows. He held out his arms for her to see and turned his face to the side so he couldn't see her reaction. It was bad enough he had to deal with it every day. He heard her intake of breath and then felt her gently take each wrist in one of her hands. He turned his head to face her slowly, suddenly wanting to see what she thought.

Hermione couldn't believe what she was seeing; Draco's arms were full of scars and fresh cut marks. She took his wrists in her hand being careful not to disturb him. She wanted to see them up close. She had never seen or known anyone who had been in so much pain that they needed to cut their own skin.

"May I touch you?" she asked so quietly he almost didn't hear her. He met her steady gaze and nodded. She slowly slid her finger over some of the deep scars. They felt smooth, but wrinkly at the same time. She had a few scars of her own, but nothing of this magnitude. Her scars were from the War or when she was a child…and a few were even from Crookshanks. She let her finger glide over a fresh wound. She felt him flinch, so she quickly moved on. When she was finished examining his arms she gently rolled his sleeves back down and re-buttoned the cuffs.

She plopped backwards onto her bottom and sat Indian style. She placed her elbows on her knees with her cheeks in her hands. She stared Draco in the eye; it wasn't angry or accusatory—she was just simply looking at him. Hermione didn't speak and Draco didn't say a word either. They sat that way for quite some time just looking at one another.

Hermione spent the time wondering exactly what Draco's life might have been like growing up. Eventually she would come to ask him about it, but not tonight. It was late and they both needed to get some sleep soon. She knew that Lucius had died about fifteen years ago and that Draco had been forced to take over the family business even though he was only 28 years old. She knew that in a normal situation, a wizard would not become head of the family until his late forties or early fifties. Draco certainly had a lot on his plate, not the mention the death of Astoria.

It really was no wonder he was at his breaking point. She had moments where she thought she was near her breaking point as well…but instead of reaching for razor blades she reached for whisky bottles. She fell into despair when the night crept in and he lived in his despair all day long. She hated Ron for making her feel so low that she needed to drink her pain away. When she has to deal with her ex-husband she holds it together in front of him, but he always makes her feel like dirt, so then late at night she drinks herself stupid.

She could tell by his eyes that he was starting to get tired. She didn't blame him; she was exhausted as well. Finally she leaned back with a sigh, "I will let you get to bed now. Thank you for taking care of me tonight. It was rather nice of you, and you didn't have to."

Draco stretched after he stood from the bed, "No, it's alright, Granger. I didn't mind."

She nodded and slid back under her quilt. Draco opened the door and stood in the frame looking back at her. She smiled sleepily, "Go and try to get some rest. There is dreamless sleep potion under the sink if you need it."

"Goodnight, Granger."

"Goonight, Draco."

He closed the door and she settled down in her bed. She listened for his footsteps to fade down the hall. She was still slightly woozy from the alcohol, but she felt a lot better now than she had earlier. Now, she just needed some sleep. With the picture of Draco's scars in her mind she fell into sleep.

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Hermione bolted up in bed with a gasp. She had been dreaming about something really intense, causing her to feel like she had just run a marathon. As soon as she opened her eyes, she hissed in pain as the daylight hit them. She flung herself back under the quilt and moaned as a pounding headache took up residence in her skull. Memories of the night before began to trickle back into her consciousness and she moaned again, but this time it was in mortification. She couldn't believe that she'd allowed Ron to get to her…and then drank herself stupid in front of Draco. What had she been thinking?

She laid there trying to stop the feeling of embarrassment in the darkness under the quilt. She knew she needed to get up, get dressed, and then make the children breakfast. Something was off though; she could swear she smelled bacon and eggs already. Was her mind seriously messing with her this morning? Tentatively, so she didn't hurt her head worse than it was, she peeked out of the quilt into the sunlit room.

There, sitting on her nightstand, was a tray of food. There were scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and a half of a grapefruit on the tray. She sat up to examine it even more closely. There was a steaming cup of tea, a small glass of milk, and a vial of potion. She noticed a little note folded against the vial and reached for it.

Opening it she read:

Granger,

Your children were up ridiculously early. I told them you had a migraine and made them breakfast. Take the potion…you will feel much better for it. Make sure you eat everything…or the potion will not work, as you probably already know. The children and I will stay downstairs until you're awake and ready.

They keep nagging me to take them into Diagon Alley…but I thought it was best if they weren't seen in public with me right now.

Draco

Hermione set the note back on the tray and leaned back against her pillows. She turned her head to look at the alarm clock. It read: 11:35am. She hadn't slept this late in a long time. She put her face in her hands. She was really making a great impression. Fighting with her ex, getting drunk, and oversleeping. Poor Draco was downstairs babysitting her children while she slept the day away.

Deciding she better get a move on, she drank the potion down in one gulp, gagged, and set it back on the tray. She then helped herself to the delicious looking breakfast her houseguest had made. She was especially glad he had taken the time to place a warming spell on the food because she had the feeling it had been sitting there for a while.

Forty five minutes later, Hermione was freshly showered and dressed, not to mention feeling much better thanks to the potion and Draco's breakfast. She had magically dried her hair and let it hang down for once instead of throwing it into a ponytail. She didn't know why, but she applied a little bit of makeup and even put on some earrings. She stood in front of her long mirror, assessing her choice of outfit for the day. It was summer after all, and they would be walking around Diagon Alley. She had decided on a pair of light jean shorts, a pale pink t-shirt, and her favorite sandals. She felt she looked appropriate enough for the day, so she grabbed her purse and headed downstairs.

She peered into the study and found that empty so she walked to the kitchen. That room was empty too. She slung her purse on her shoulder and stepped into the doorway of the living room. She was just about to say something, but decided to keep her presence unknown for a moment. She couldn't help the smile that slid onto her face.

Draco was situated on the couch between her two children. They were explaining to him how the television worked. Hugo was holding the remote out of Rose's reach, and Draco was trying to get him to share. It was a very humorous sight. Rose kept whining, "Come on Hugo, he said share! I want to show him how to record programs!"

Hugo would whine back, "Not now, Rose! I want him to see that channel I was telling him about."

Draco was shaking his head at them, "If you two wake your mother, I will be very disappointed. There's plenty of time for you to show me both of these things…whatever they are."

Hermione leaned against the doorframe and enjoyed the show for a few minutes longer. Clearly, Draco was good with children. She placed a finger upon her lip and wondered how he was with his own son. She knew that Rose and Scorpius were in the same year at Hogwarts. She would have to discuss Scorpius with Rose at later date.

Finally, deciding it was time to give Draco a break, she cleared her throat. Hugo dropped the remote immediately and Rose bounded over the back of the sofa, "Mum! How are you feeling? Mr. Malfoy said you were feeling off."

Hermione smoothed her hand over Rose's curly red hair, "I'm feeling much better now. Are you two still interested in shopping?"

Hugo ran over to her as well, "Yes! Please mum! I need new robes this year! I'm a Prefect, after all."

Rose rolled her eyes at her brother's antics, "Yes, but I am Head Girl! If anyone is getting new robes, it should be me, little brother."

"You may both get some new robes if you like. It has been a while…we also need to get Draco some new clothes as well, seeing as he has none here." She smiled at Draco who had come to stand behind her children. He was still wearing the outfit he had on yesterday. She felt bad knowing it probably didn't smell that great.

"Yes, mum." Rose and Hugo said at the same time.

"Very well then, let's get going. Coming with us, Draco?" she asked politely.

He hesitated for a moment, and looked at the children; they were both looking at him eagerly. He shrugged, "Sure, why not?"

Rose and Hugo shouted their 'hurray's' and the four of them headed for the door. The two children quickly scurried outside, but Hermione held Draco back for a moment, "I just want to thank you for…well, everything. You're really great with my children, thank you."

Draco smirked, "Not a problem, Granger. I do have a son of my own. Don't know if I could handle more than one…especially with Weasley blood, but I can take care of them if you need me to. You know, in case I'm here and Weasley starts with you again."

She nodded in understanding, "Yes, well…I do appreciate it."

He smirked again, "Let's get going before those kids run off someplace."

Hermione laughed and let him lead the way outside into Diagon Alley.

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The next couple of weeks went by rather quickly for Hermione. Most days were good. She would spend time with the children on day trips to London or Diagon Alley, and she would also have her therapy sessions with Draco. The living situation was no longer uncomfortable.

The nights were a different story.

Many times, Ron would send her an owl or floo over in the evening to confront her about the 'Malfoy' situation. He was still threatening her with taking full custody of Rose and Hugo, but so far he hadn't gone through with anything. Harry or Ginny would come by to talk to her as well, but they never once told her that Draco needed to leave. They just kept telling her to do what was best…and in Hermione's opinion, she was.

Each and every time after she had to deal with Ron, Hermione would get drunk beyond belief. And each and every time, Draco took the liberty of taking care of her, despite Hermione's constant pleadings that he didn't have to. He felt that if she was helping him with his grieving, it was the least he could do.

So they settled themselves into a sort of routine.

Too bad things can't always be left alone.

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	4. Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't seem to be going very well between Ron and Hermione. Draco and Hermione go to the zoo with the kids and he's forced to open up about Astoria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided to post this fic on here as I love this sight so much! Also, this is a WIP and can also be found on ff.net. Due to circumstances I do not have a regular schedule for updating so please bear with me! Enjoy!

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"I'm gonna fight for what's right.  
Today I'm speaking my mind."– Skillet

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Hermione was actually surprised at how well the past few weeks had been going. Well, they had been going well, besides the fact that Ron wouldn't stop harassing her. Just last night he had flooed over and upon seeing Draco sitting on the couch watching television, he'd pulled her outside. Once the door was shut he got in her face.

"Hermione, it's been three whole weeks. I think that's plenty of time for Malfoy to be healed and ready to head back home to his Manor."

"Ronald, he's still having nightmares, he can barely sleep, and he's hurting himself. I cannot, with a sane mind, send him out into the world right now."

"Then maybe you should have him committed. I hear there's an empty space at St. Mungo's; why not send him there?"

Hermione backed away from her ex-husband in disgust. She began pacing the front of her flat and shaking her head, "You just don't get it, Ron. He's not going to get any better sitting in that hospital,l thinking about the death of his wife every single day. That's where she died! Being in the hospital would be more hurtful than helpful.

"So sitting in your flat, with my children, thinking about her death everyday is better?"

"You're infuriating, Ronald. Being here, Malfoy has access to a different environment. He can relax and be himself. We have sessions every day to discuss his feelings and he's even shown signs of improvement when it comes to his self hurt tendencies. He hasn't attempted suicide and he's really great with our children."

Ron snorted and stepped towards her, effectively blocking her path and forcing her to stop. He ran a hand over his short hair, "Hermione, I don't want to fight with you every time we have to meet, but I cannot allow you to keep that man in your home with my children…I just can't."

"If you would stop showing up at my home every other day, uninvited I might add, then maybe you'd be able to give him a chance. Besides, in just a week, the kids will be going back to Hogwarts and this argument will be moot."

"I've talked with the lawyers, Hermione."

"You did what?"

"This morning I met with the lawyers about gaining full custody. I can't let this go on any longer. If everything goes to plan, the children will be with me full time by the holidays."

"The holidays? Ronald, how cruel can you be?"

"I'm not the one subjecting the children to the presence of a Death Eater."

Hermione took a shuddering breath and turned away from Ron to compose herself. When she knew she wouldn't burst into tears, she turned back with rage filled eyes, "He is no longer a Death Eater…hasn't been for a long time. He probably won't even be here in time for the holidays. He's doing better every day; I expect he'll be back at home with his own family before then. This whole situation is ridiculous."

"No, the situation is not ridiculous. Why haven't you been going to work these past few weeks? Are you drinking again?"

She hesitated and he narrowed his eyes at her, "You are, aren't you?"

"My drinking is not and has not, ever, affected my parenting…and I took off work to spend more time with the children. I have plenty of vacation days to use, and I chose to use them in order to be with the children."

"I'm not daft, Hermione. You used to take off work when you drank too much."

"I don't need to do that anymore."

"We'll see."

"Okay, Ron, I'm an alcoholic, but it doesn't hurt the children. They don't even know!"

"Well, the lawyers have been informed of the situation, and I'm sure they'll be in touch."

She was shaking with rage. She clenched her hands into fist and shoved them deep into her pockets. How dare he do this to her?

"You need to leave, Ronald. This is my time with the children and you are not to come here unannounced ever again, or the lawyers will be hearing about that!" With that she turned, opened the door to her flat, gave him a disgusted look, and slammed it in his face. She stood there waiting to hear the 'pop' that signaled his departure, and when she heard it she crumpled into a ball on the floor and bawled her eyes out.

Draco found her there about an hour later. For the first time, she hadn't wanted a drink to forget her discussion with Ron. She asked Draco to carry her to bed and give her a dreamless sleeping potion. He had without question and left her alone to fall asleep. It was the nicest thing he had done for her yet.

So now, Hermione was sitting at her dining room table going through all her old papers about the divorce and looking for a way to stop Ron. She knew there had to be a clause in here somewhere stating that Ron wasn't allowed to just barge in whenever he wanted, and that he could not take full custody because of her job. She had become far too lenient with him when it came to the children and whose turn it was to have them. She knew the kids didn't mind splitting their time with their parents, but she was sure they hated that Hermione sent them to be with their father when she couldn't take time off work.

With a cry of success, Hermione plucked the paper that would stop Ron's current battle against her. She quickly used her wand to make a copy and then made her way to Rose's bedroom. She peeked her head in the door and smiled; Rose was lying on her stomach on the bed reading her new Potions book. She tapped lightly on the door and Rose's head tilted up to see who was at the door.

"Hey mum. What's up?"

Hermione stepped fully into the room and held up her envelope, "Mind of I borrow your owl to send a letter?"

"Sure!" Rose closed her book and went to her owl's cage. She held her hand out for the letter and Hermione placed it in her palm. Hermione watched as Rose attached the letter and then allowed her owl to fly out the window. Hermione sighed in relief knowing that her lawyer would hold off Ron from taking custody for a while. He would be furious with her, but she didn't care. How dare he think that all the times he didn't follow the custody rules that she would be the one losing custody? Hermione wasn't an idiot, she made sure to follow the rules just in case something like this happened.

"Thank you, Rose."

Rose gave her mother a hug and smiled at her, "No problem, Mum. What are we going to do today?"

Hermione thought for a moment, "Maybe we can go to the zoo?"

Rose smiled, "Yes! We haven't been there in ages!"

"I'll go and pack us a lunch; why don't you go and make sure Hugo is ready?"

"Sure mum!"

Hermione went back downstairs and into the kitchen. She pulled the old picnic basket out of the cupboard, she hadn't used it since her and Ron had still been together. The two of them used to take Rose and Hugo on picnics in the Muggle park near the house they'd shared. It felt strange to pack it full of goodies and Ron not be involved. As she was making sandwiches, Draco wandered into the kitchen. He got himself a glass of water and then made himself comfortable at the counter.

"Where are you headed?"

"I was thinking that I'd take the kids to the zoo today."

Draco sipped some of his water and nodded. He didn't really understand the concept of a zoo, but he'd heard Hugo talking about it on one of those blasted cellular phones just the other day. Apparently, Weasel wanted to take them the next time he saw them. He smirked.

"You, know, Granger, I think Weasley is going to be rather upset if you take the kids to the zoo."

Hermione stopped in the middle of spreading peanut butter on bread and glanced up at him, "What do you mean?"

"Well, I heard Hugo talking to him just the other day…they were making plans to go before they went back to school."

Hermione angrily resumed making sandwiches, "Of course Ron was making plans with them…he always tries to undermine me. Well, too bad for him. We're all going to the zoo today and I don't care if he gets upset. He has the kids much more often than I do because of my job. It's lucky that I have so many vacation days; it's really nice to take time off to spend the last few weeks of summer with them."

Draco blinked at her, "When you say 'all of us' you don't mean me included do you?"

"Of course I do. There's no reason for you to sit here all day alone while we all go out and have fun." She began packing the sandwiches in the basket along with bottled water and crackers.

"Is that really a good idea with your ex-husband hounding you about your children?"

Hermione shut the basket with an angry snap, "For your information, there is no clause in our divorce agreement stating that I cannot take a friend with me to the zoo with the children. I sent a copy of our agreement to our lawyers just this morning, so as of right now, I am in the clear. He will have to find something more concrete in order to take my children from me."

Draco slid his empty glass back and forth between his hands on the counter. He wasn't one hundred percent sure that it was a good idea, but it would be nice to get out of the house, and Diagon Alley. He was starting to get restless, and that was never a good idea when it came to him and his grief. He got up put his glass in the sink and turned to face her. He shrugged his shoulders, "When do we leave?"

Hermione smiled triumphantly, "Now."

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Rose and Hugo were ecstatic. They didn't stop talking the entire time on the subway. Hermione was certain they had discussed every single animal that there could possibly be at the zoo. Now the foursome was standing just inside the gates of the zoo, deciding what to do first. Hermione handed the basket of lunch snacks to Draco to carry. He had mumbled something about a levitation spell, but Hermione had given him a dirty look and he promptly shut his mouth.

Merlin forbid, if the Muggles that were swarming saw any magic going on. Hermione was certain Ron could use that against her, and she was trying her hardest to keep everything held together as it was. They began their walk through the zoo looking at the wildcats. Rose insisted that the tiger was her favorite and Hugo declared he loved the lions. Hermione and Draco both agreed that both wildcats were intriguing.

As they were nearing the reptile house, Hermione couldn't help but smile. Draco gave her a strange look so she decided she might as well enlighten him and her children.

"Children, when your uncle Harry was young, he accidentally set a boa constrictor loose at the zoo."

Hugo stopped dead in his tracks, "Uncle Harry set a giant snake loose?"

Hermione nodded, "Yes, by accident of course. He would never purposely set a snake loose."

Rose, ever wanting to get all the facts, piped up, "And how did he do that? The glass is really thick on the exhibits."

Hermione leaned closer, so the muggles wouldn't hear, "Well, it was back when Harry could speak parseltongue. He was having a conversation with the snake without realizing it, and then his cousin, Dudley, noticed that Harry was actually talking to the snake. He made a big fuss, and then in his anger, Harry made the glass disappear."

"Did he use his wand?" asked Hugo as they entered the reptile house.

Hermione shook her head, "No, this was before he got his letter to Hogwarts. He did it without knowing what was happening."

"Wow." Both children wore looks of amazement on their faces.

Hermione chuckled, "Now, don't you two go using magic to free all the creatures. Leave them where they're safe."

"Okay mum."

"Yes, mum."

The two adults let the children lead the way through the reptile house, and within a half hour they were back out in the summer sunshine. Hermione decided it was nearly time for lunch so she turned to her kids, "Okay, let's look at one more exhibit before we have our lunch. Then we can finish the rest of the exhibits and maybe grab some dinner on the way home."

"Let's go see the bears!" Hugo said excitedly. They all agreed and began the walk to see the different types of bears.

Draco and Hermione held back a bit and Draco took the opportunity to ask some questions that had popped into his mind while Hermione had been telling the story about Potter and the snake.

"Granger, can I ask a question about that story you told earlier?"

"Of course." She slowed down so they were even further behind the children.

He struggled with what to say. He never openly inquired about Potter…as a secret agreement, Hermione and Draco never discussed the past. Everything was so muddled and complicated. Unfortunately, Draco couldn't help his curiosity today.

"When you were telling the story, you said back when Potter could speak parseltongue. Are you saying that he doesn't speak it anymore?"

Hermione tilted her head towards him as they walked, "You mean you don't know?"

He rolled his eyes at her and she scowled, "Granger, if I knew what you were talking about, I wouldn't be asking."

She huffed, "Actually, no, he can't speak it anymore."

"Why?"

"Well, when he destroyed Voldemort it seems that the ability was lost to him."

This was news to Draco. He scratched his chin and asked another question, "So Potter's ability to speak parseltongue was directly linked to the Dark Lord?"

Hermione nodded and peered around a large group of students in front of her to spot her children. When she was satisfied that they were behaving she stopped and turned back towards Draco, "When Voldemort tried to kill Harry the first time, he unconsciously created a horcrux within Harry. A part of him was transferred into Harry, and that portion contained the ability to speak to snakes. Luckily, Harry was able to destroy all the other horcuxes, including the one within himself, when he was killed the night of the final battle, so that when his snake, Nagini, was destroyed, Voldemort was destroyed for good, taking with him any lingering effects he left upon those alive."

Draco was lost. He threw up his hands and shook his head back and forth, "Wait a minute. Are you telling me that Potter actually died the night of the final battle…but that he's still living?"

Hermione rolled her eyes at him, "Keep up Malfoy. Harry didn't really die, but he did have to die momentarily so that the part of Voldemort within him would be destroyed. Didn't your parents tell you any of this?"

He shook his head, "No, they never told me anything about this. Like I said, I still thought Potter could speak parseltongue."

Hermione felt rather sad for Draco all of a sudden. How could his mother never have told him about Harry being…well, dead for a moment? She took his hand and led him over to a bench. She sat down and he followed suit. She figured while the kids were enjoying looking at the different types of bears, she could have a discussion with Draco.

She turned so that she was slightly facing him. He remained facing forward; a hard look upon his face. She wasn't sure where to begin, but she decided asking a few questions about something that had been bothering her was as good a place as any.

"Draco, when I came to you on the roof of the hospital, you told me that Scorpius was in France with your parents, but I thought that your father passed away years ago. What did you mean by that?"

Draco looked up at the sky. The clouds were large and beautiful. He hated talking about his past, but he knew if he didn't answer, Granger would keep pestering him. And, as if on cue, she asked another question.

"Can you tell me what happened after the war?"

"After the war, my parents and I returned to the Manor. It was in ruins from being used as the Dark Lord's base for so long, so mother hired people to restore it. It's been there for generations and we couldn't simply trash it and move on. It would be an insult to our ancestors. After the renovations began, mother and father decided we would purchase a house in France and stay there until the Manor was complete. But things got complicated; my father began to go crazy. He would travel back and forth between France and Wiltshire, but the traveling wasn't good for his mental health. He was constantly telling my mother and me that the renovations were not going as planned. Then one day nine years after the renovations had begun, my mother had enough. She went to check for herself exactly how things were coming along. Don't get me wrong, she loved France, but she wanted to be back home. She especially wanted her new grandson to be able to live in the home of his ancestors. By this point, Astoria and I had been married for a few years and Scorpius was a year or so old. I had my own house with my wife and son in London, but mother insisted that she'd get to the bottom of the holdup with the Manor."

He took a break to catch his breath. Hermione was watching him with rapt attention. He glanced around. No one was looking at them; he supposed that everyone thought they were a couple having a family discussion. It made him feel uncomfortable, but Hermione prodded him on the arm asking him to continue his story.

"So, mother returned to the Manor, but she never expected what she found. The Manor was exactly as it had been after the war; actually it was in worse condition. She confronted my father, and it turns out, he had fired the renovators. He was determined that the Dark Lord had hidden treasure or money or…something inside the Manor for him to find. So instead of making sure the Manor was being redone, he was destroying it even further."

Hermione leaned closer, "So what happened next? What did Narcissa do?"

He laughed, "Mother rehired the renovators and hulled my father's arse back to France. She placed wards up that wouldn't allow him to enter the Manor until it was finished. Unfortunately for him, he never got to return. Later that year his insanity got to him and he drowned himself in the Seine River. That's when I was forced to take over the family business. It was lucky that I was already living in London."

Hermione glanced towards the bear exhibit for a moment collecting her thoughts. Rose and Hugo were reading the poster about the polar bears. She let her gaze settle back on her patient, "What happened to Narcissa?"

"Four years later, the renovations were nearly complete, so she thought she could return, but there was a problem."

"A problem?"

"Yes. She had fallen in love with a French wizard."

"Well, that's good isn't it?"

"Yes, it was very good for her, but now she had a dilemma. She could stay in France with Pierre, or return to the Manor. In the end, I told her she better not let Pierre Watercress get away and she married him. They remained in our France residence and Astoria, Scorpius, and I sold our London house and moved back to the Manor."

"So when you said parent's home in France, you meant your mother and step-father?"

"Yes."

"That makes much more sense now. How does Scorpius like Pierre?"

Draco smirked, "They get along great. Pierre has been a tremendous help since Astoria died. Scorpius never knew my father, but I'm sure he's heard of the atrocious deeds he committed."

Hermione waved the children over, "Do you regret that he never got to know his real grandfather?"

Draco stood and straightened his long sleeved gray shirt, "No, not really. It's probably a good thing that Scorpius didn't grow up hearing everyday about how muggleborns were going to ruin the wizarding world."

"You're probably right about that." Hermione replied with a slight smile.

Draco smirked back just as Rose and Hugo joined them. They began chattering about the bears immediately and Hermione ushered them towards the picnic area with Draco carrying the basket behind them.

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The rest of the day went by uneventfully. They stopped at a small muggle restaurant on the way home and had a nice and quiet dinner. They all ordered the fish and chips because the waiter had insisted it was the best in the area. By the end of dinner, they had to agree.

When they returned to the house at the end of the night, the children went off to get ready for bed and Draco disappeared as well. Hermione wandered into the kitchen to put the basket away and wash the dishes from earlier in the day. Usually she would just use magic to wash the dishes, but tonight she felt like doing things the muggle way. She'd had a day full of muggle activities and she felt the need to keep it going.

After the dishes were washed and put away, she decided to put on some water for tea. While the tea was getting to a boil she went upstairs to check on Rose and Hugo and to change into some more comfortable clothes. She found that Hugo had already passed out and Rose was reading her newest favorite book, Standard Book of Spells Grade 7. Hermione whispered goodnight to her daughter and shut the door quietly so she wouldn't wake Hugo across the hall.

After a quick change into a pair of sweat pants and an old t-shirt, she was back down in the kitchen just in time to catch the teapot before it started to whistle. She didn't want to disturb anyone who might be sleeping. Just as she was about to pour her hot water into a cup, Draco strolled into the kitchen. His hair was still wet from the shower and he was wearing just his boxers and a long sleeved white t-shirt.

He leaned against the kitchen counter, "Not ready to go to bed yet?"

Hermione smiled, "No. Would you like to join me for some tea?"

"Sure."

She got another mug from the cabinet and then put the tea bags in both mugs and poured the water. She placed the teapot back on the stove and turned to Draco. He reached for his mug and dunked the bag a few times before tossing it into the garbage bin. Hermione followed suit and then motioned for him to follow her into the living room. She just wanted to sit in front of her fireplace and relax before bed.

She was ridiculously tired because she hadn't slept much the night before thanks to her conversation with Ron, but she was far too riled up at the moment. After Ron had left last night she had really gotten herself drunk; this was after she had cried herself silly and Draco had taken her to bed. Hermione had cried in bed for a good hour waiting for everyone to be asleep before sneaking back downstairs, and into her secret stash. She wasn't able to sleep, and after all that crying, all she wanted was a drink.

She'd gone through three bottles of wine before Draco had woken and found her laying on the dining room floor surrounded by her divorce papers with tears streaming down her face. She'd thought he'd gone to sleep a long time ago, but thankfully he was there to drag her to bed, again, or she might have passed out on the floor where Rose or Hugo might have found her. That was definitely not something that could happen.

So here she was tonight, drinking plain old tea instead of wine or whiskey. It was really strange to being relaxing with Draco, but he'd been so different lately, it was hard not to relax around him. They both settled in on the couch and drank their tea for a while. A good ten minutes passed and neither of them spoke a word; though the silence was not awkward.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He seemed much more relaxed tonight. The day out must have done him some good. Hermione was glad that she had asked him to come along; well she kind of told him rather than asked, but it was still nice. She snuggled back into the couch and decided it was time to open up with him a bit. Well, a bit more than her alcoholism.

Hermione swung herself around and leaned her back against the armrest. Draco dropped his head onto the back of the couch and rolled it so he could look at her, "Let, me guess, you want to discuss my feelings again?"

Hermione's mouth dropped open, "What? No I just wanted to talk…really, just talk."

Draco lifted his head up and turned himself around so he was seated the same way as Hermione. He finished the last of his tea and set the cup on the coffee table, "Alright, let's talk."

Hermione beamed. She really wanted him to open up to her and she felt that he was starting to be more relaxed. Maybe they could go a whole conversation without sarcasm and skiving remarks. She decided to just start with something simple.

"Draco," she began, "I just want to thank you, again, for everything you've done since you've gotten here. Also, I am so glad that you came with us to the zoo today. I know how hard you have been working to keep your grief to a point that you can deal with. I want you to know that you're welcome to come along on any of our outings. I know that they're going to be heading back to Hogwarts soon, but anything we do before then, please feel free to come."

Draco sighed, "That's good to know. I think you're kids are great despite the fact that they're also the Weasel's. Rose is brilliant and she's going to make a great Head Girl and Hugo is well on his way to becoming a great Head Boy, if he can keep his pranks to a minimum."

Hermione had to laugh at that. It was true; Hugo did take after his uncle George quite a bit, but that could be because he spent a lot of time at the joke shop with his father and uncle. It was refreshing to hear Draco compliment her children.

"Rose tells me that she and Scorpius are good friends at school; that they both have the top grades and work together in a lot of classes. Have you heard from him at all this summer?"

"Actually, I haven't. My mother has been keeping contact, but she thinks that it will be harmful to his psyche if he knows how I've been. That's why she and Pierre have been traveling with him this summer."

"Maybe Rose can invite him for a visit. Does Narcissa know that you're staying with me?"

"No and I think it's best if she doesn't know right now. I'm not sure how she will take it."

"Okay, well, Scorpius can come before we take the kids to the train station, maybe stay a few days?"

"Okay, as long as Rose doesn't tell him I'm here. I'd rather tell him myself; in person."

Hermione nodded in understanding. She didn't want to cause any friction with his family because that could hinder any progress that they've made.

"I understand."

"Granger?"

"Yes?"

"I want to talk to you about Astoria."

Hermione held her breath and blinked at him. It was the first time that he initiated any conversation about his dead wife. This was certainly a breakthrough in her opinion. She leaned forward and patted him on the knee, "Sure, Draco. Go ahead." She felt it was necessary to let him lead the conversation instead of her asking questions.

He sighed, "I understand that she's gone, I really do, but it kills me inside that I still love her so much. She was the only person I ever loved. I didn't even know I loved her until after we were married."

"You didn't tell her you loved her until after you were married?"

"No, I didn't. We had a bit of an arranged marriage." At the look on Hermione's face he shook his head, "Don't look so surprised, Granger. An arranged marriage is not that uncommon within pureblood families. Don't get me wrong, I cared for her quite a bit, and she was a much better catch than her sister, Daphne."

"Oh, I remember, Daphne. She was quite rude, wasn't she?"

"Yes, she was rude even to her Slytherin housemates. Originally, my father wanted me to marry her, but my mother allowed me to choose between the two sisters. I had always admired Astoria for dealing with her overbearing sister, and that's why I chose her. Little did I know I would grow to care for her so much."

"When did you realize that you loved her?"

"I think it was the morning that Scorpius was born. I had been at the hospital all night with Astoria while she was in labor. I spent the entire time in the room with her while mine and her parents stayed out in the waiting room. When Scorpius arrived I was so happy. It was boy, my father would be proud that someone would be carrying on the Malfoy name, and I hurried out into the waiting room to tell everyone. The joy they expressed was overwhelming. I had never experienced joy of that nature. When I went back into the room, there she was with Scorpius feeding at her breast, and this feeling just overwhelmed me. She gestured for me to come over to her and when I settled myself on the side of the bed she caught my eye. In that moment, I knew that somehow she had made me fall in love with her. I leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss. When I backed away she asked what that was for, so I told her; 'I love you Astoria; I'm sorry it took me so long to get here.'"

Hermione had to blink a few times so that she wouldn't tear up. It was unbelievable to see Draco showing so much emotion. He had tears running down his cheeks and he was breathing heavily. She didn't want to interrupt him, so she nodded for him to continue. After taking a deep shuddering breath he carried on.

"I know that it's not really my fault that Astoria died the way she did, but I feel like it was. I feel like I should have taken care of that room before she got there. I should have just let the renovators decorate like my mother wanted. I knew that it was too much for her to handle, but I didn't know just how much it would cost her."

When he didn't go on any further, Hermione knew it was her turn to speak, but she didn't have a clue what to say. What do you say to a person who's lost the only person they've ever loved? She didn't know because she had recently started to believe that she'd never really loved Ron. When she knew the silence had gone on long enough she decided to speak what she knew to be the truth.

"I've never lost the person I loved, so I cannot say I understand where you're coming from, but I can say that you will eventually be okay. I know a lot of people who've lost their best friend, their love, or sibling. It will get better, but you have to try to make it better. You can't go everyday thinking about what if you did this or what if you did that. I've seen you with my children, so I know that you must be great with your son as well. You're a good person, Draco. You will make it through this."

Instead of taking her pep talk the way she expected, which was in a good way, he stood up and glared down at her.

"How can you say that? How do you know that I'll make it through this pain? You have no idea what you're talking about! Without her I am nothing. I am not a good person. All I ever think about is causing myself pain or leaving this world so I can be with her. I am a horrible person! Look at all the pain that I caused you back at Hogwarts…look at all the pain I've caused everyone! How can I live knowing that the one person who made me whole and better is gone forever?"

Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off, "Don't bother, Granger. I'm done for the night." He stormed off out of the room and she cringed when she heard his bedroom door slam. That would most certainly wake her kids. With a sigh she got up from the couch and grabbed their mugs. She deposited them in the kitchen sink before turning out the lights and heading to bed. She supposed that maybe it was too soon for him to talk about Astoria with her. Maybe she wasn't the best person for his case? She would have to get in contact with Ernie about the situation.

Her last thought before she slipped into unconsciousness was that she hoped things didn't get any worse.

She had no idea just how much worse they could get that night.

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	5. Somebody that I used to Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco has a bit of a set back so Hermione has Rose invite Scorpius for a visit.

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"Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over.  
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done"—Gotye

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Hermione was currently sitting at the kitchen counter staring into her now cold, cup of coffee. Usually she was a tea person, but she hadn't gotten much sleep again last night. So now she had two days of nearly sleepless nights under belt. Yes, coffee was needed. She swirled the last dregs of her coffee as she thought; the rain was pounding on the windows and it helped to calm her frazzled nerves. It had been raining since the middle of the night, but it was a good thing, it had been really dry these past few weeks, and the rain was welcome.

The clock on the mantel in the living room chimed and Hermione sighed; getting to her feet to pour the cold coffee down the drain. It was very quiet in the apartment today, but after a night like last night, she wasn't surprised. She picked the dish rag up and wiped off the counter before folding it and replacing it on the sink. It was now two in the afternoon; the children should be back soon, and hopefully Draco would be awake soon as well. She walked over to the doorway and listened down the hall; all was quiet still, meaning he was still asleep. She should probably wake him. He'd wanted to be awake when Scorpius arrived.

She smoothed her hands down over her jeans and straightened her white knit t-shirt before heading to his door. She tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear and reached for the doorknob. Leaning forward, she listened through the door; still silent. She cringed at the thought of what she might find inside, remembering what had happened the night before…

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Hermione hadn't been asleep very long when she'd been shaken awake by Rose. It took her a moment to realize what was happening and then her daughter's face took form in front of her face. She struggled to sit up, shaking off the sleep that was still clinging to her mind. She clicked on the bedside lamp and pushed the hair off her face.

"What's wrong, Rose? Is Hugo alright?"

"Yes, he's still asleep. I went downstairs to get a glass of water and I heard Mr. Malfoy talking in his room…I think he was asleep, but I didn't go in. I came right up here."

Hermione's heart dropped as she pushed the covers aside and crawled out of bed. He must be having nightmares again. He'd told her that when he has the nightmares, he talks in his sleep. This wasn't a good sign. Their discussion had obviously hit a nerve; even if it had been his idea to talk about Astoria in the first place. She slid her feet into her house shoes and grabbed her robe from the back of her chair. She put it on and turned to her daughter.

Rose was standing with her hands twisted together. She looked concerned and scared at the same time and Hermione went over and placed her hands on her shoulders, "Rose, darling, why don't you go back into your bedroom and shut the door. I will take care of Mr. Malfoy. Just go back to sleep." She turned her daughter towards the door and gave her a gentle push through it. Hermione followed and waited for Rose to be safely locked up in her room, before wandlessly casting silencing charms on both her children's bedroom doors. If anything were to happen she didn't want her kids to hear it.

With a sigh of knowing that her children would be safe, she ventured downstairs and stood in front of Draco's door; her study door. It seemed as if everything was quiet inside, but to be sure, she eased open the door and took a look around. The bed was a mess; it was as if someone had been thrashing about it and then thrown the covers away in a hurry to get out. This was not good. Where was he? She hoped that he hadn't left the flat.

She stepped back out of the room, wand at the ready, and headed down towards the kitchen. There was a light on in the living room and she couldn't remember if she'd turned it out or not. She hoped he was just having a restless night. Stepping into the kitchen she held herself upright; it was a mess. There were streaks of blood on her formerly clean kitchen counters and a few specks on the wall. What the hell had he done? Walking swiftly through the room she made quick assessment of the situation; one of her small kitchen knives was missing from the block and with the blood spattered everywhere, she could deduce that he was cutting himself…or worse.

She hoped it wasn't worse.

Swallowing the bile that had risen to the back of her throat, Hermione made her way to the living room…oh Merlin, her beautiful white living room…how would she get the blood out? If the sticky red substance in the kitchen had been any indication, it made her heart race just to think of how much of it could be in there. And what if Draco wasn't just cutting himself? What if he'd gone all the way? She shuddered to imagine anything of the sort.

She leaned into the room and breathed a sigh of relief, he wasn't in there. But where could he be? She whirled around at the thud in the dining room. He must be in there, but why? She crept back through the kitchen and then across the hall towards the dining room. Now that she was closer, she could smell the fresh air from outside tinged with that unmistakable sent of rain; a storm was coming.

She leaned back against the wall of the hallway and pulled her wand up in front of her closing her eyes with a deep breath. A silent prayer to Merlin for him not to be lying dead on the floor, whispered across her lips, and then she eased around the doorway. The breath came whooshing out of her mouth at the relief she felt. Draco wasn't dead…he was sitting on the balcony outside. The knife lay forgotten on the dining room table. Hermione picked it up and twirled it around in her hand. It had bloodstains upon it, but it was near dry. With a tap of her wand she sent in flying back to the kitchen…just to be safe.

Stepping up to the open doorway, she cleared her throat, tucking her wand behind her. There was no need to alarm him, she simply wanted to make sure he was alright and get him back to bed. Thunder rumbled in the distance, and she could have sworn she saw a streak of lightning to the east. Draco turned his head to look at her. He didn't say anything, and he didn't have to; Hermione could see the anguish etched into his features. Her heart skipped a beat and she swallowed hard, again.

Hermione shivered when the wind blew against her small frame, but she stepped out onto the balcony. She didn't know what to say, and he was still staring at her. She took in his distressed form; his sleeves were rolled up and there were fresh cut marks up and down both of his arms. Some even had blood dripping from them still. None of the cut marks looked life threatening however. Feeling slightly more hopeful, Hermione walked gradually over to the other chair and sat down. She stared out over the rooftops of Diagon Alley and watched lightning strike in the distance. The thunder rumbled her to the core.

"A storm is coming," she whispered.

"I didn't mean to startle Rose."

"I know…"

"Will she tell the Weasel?"

Hermione closed her eyes and let the terror wash over her, "Merlin, I hope not." When she opened her eyes she noticed he was looking at her.

"I should leave."

She shook her head, "No, no…it will be alright. I'll talk to her. She doesn't have to know what happened here tonight."

"I meant I should leave…here."

She whipped herself around in her chair to face him, "You are not saying what I think you're saying."

He nodded.

"I thought we've been over this?"

Draco scratched his chin and let his arms fall back down onto his lap. Sitting in silence for a moment, he threw his head back and cackled, "Look at me, Granger. I'm a mess. I can't do this anymore. Any time I talk about…or even think about, Astoria…I lose it." The last part was said in almost a whisper. Hermione watched as he pushed himself up from the chair. He rolled his sleeves down and only in a few spots did the redness seep through. He stepped up to the railing and looked down at the empty street below. She wasn't sure if she should stand up and join him or stay in her chair. She did lean forward however, so that she'd be able to hear him more clearly.

"Come here, Granger."

She blinked at his back, but did as he asked. She stood next to him, placing her hands on the railing…not only to mimic what he was doing, but also to help steady herself. She realized that her heart was beating very quickly, and her breathing was erratic. Turning her head away from his, she hoped he didn't notice the effect the situation was having on her. She wasn't quite sure how to react to his bluntness.

"What am I doing here, standing with you?"

He let his head fall forward; his hair shielding his face, but she saw the tear slide down his cheek, linger a moment on his chin, and then fall to the street below. He was crying, silently, and it broke her heart a little to see him so devastated. She'd seen him cry before, but somehow, this was different. He just seemed so, sad…but at the same time, he looked so alive. It was as if he thrived off of this sadness. She remembered hearing about people becoming addicted to their sadness. She hoped he would not be one of those people.

"I guess I just needed someone to be with me right now."

"Okay."

They stood there and listened to the thunder and watched the lightning for a while. Neither moved, and Hermione barely breathed; afraid that she might disrupt the situation even further. After a few more minutes, she heard Draco take a deep breath. He placed a hand on her shoulder and gently pushed her away from the ledge, causing her to let go of the railing. She stumbled back towards the chair, but didn't sit down.

Hermione watched in horror as Draco swiftly climbed atop the railing. The wind was raging at this point and his hair whipped about his face. Hermione felt a raindrop hit her cheek and she brushed it away and she lunged forward. With one last look over his shoulder at her, Draco threw himself from the ledge. Hermione screamed and flung herself at him, but his shirt was just out of reach. With a quickness she hadn't needed since the war, she withdrew her wand and pointed it at his falling body, "Wingardium Leviosa," she screamed and held onto her wand with both hands. She'd never levitated a body before; especially not one that was falling through the air at an alarming rate.

She felt the instant the spell took hold of his body, jerking her towards the railing, and she risked a glance down…praying it had been before he'd hit the street. Grimacing as she held the spell, she looked down and sobbed in relief that his body was floating just a few feet from the ground. She couldn't tell if he was conscious or not, but began to lift him upwards anyway. She was sweating from the effort when she finally guided his body back on the balcony. As soon as he landed in a crumpled heap on the floor, she released the spell and fell to her knees, no longer able to control her sobs.

The storm crashed upon them then. Rain began driving in buckets from the sky, instantly soaking her through her pajamas. Thunder pounded so hard it rattled her ribs and the lightning flashed so brightly the entire balcony was enveloped in light. Her tears mingled with the rain and fell through her fingertips onto the concrete floor.

She cried until her body was shaking from the effort. She didn't stop until she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up she was surprised to see that it was Draco. He was sitting next to her, his back against the railing. His hand was shaking, or was that her? She didn't know, but upon seeing his calm face, she composed herself a bit. Her tears became ones of anger and then she did the only thing she could think of, she pulled her hand back and punched him in the shoulder hard enough to break her knuckles.

"You, fucking, asshole." She was seething as she clutched her bruised hand. Fumbling around on the ground for her wand, she healed herself before standing up and backing away from Draco. She was breathing so hard she was sure she could be hyperventilating. He just sat there staring back at her, his arms stained red, his chest moving in and out, and his eyes like ice.

Draco dropped his face so she couldn't see it anymore and she felt her anger slip away immediately. He looked so, broken. Stumbling back over to him, she dropped to her knees once more. She used her wand to heal his cuts; she didn't want him bleeding anymore. The red was making her crazy. She needed a drink.

After she had him all cleaned up she helped him to his feet. He swayed a bit, but didn't resist. Together they walked back into the flat and she led him back to his room. They were both soaking wet and the house was pitch black…the storm must have knocked out the power. Luckily, the lightning helped them find their way. She deposited him on his bed and then turned to rummage through his bags for some dry clothes. She thrust them at him and managed to breathe, "Here, put these on before you catch cold."

Hermione turned around and crossed her arms over her chest as he undressed and then put the new clothes on. She was in shock; her body was still quaking and she felt like ice. When she heard the bed creak under his weight she turned back around, letting her arms fall back to her sides. She stood there staring down at him; his eyes bored into hers own.

"What the bloody hell were you thinking?"

"You should have let me fall."

She threw her hands into the air, "Are you mental? Why the fuck would I let you fall?"

He shrugged.

"I am your healer…I am here to protect you, to heal you, Malfoy! I'm not here to allow you to hurt yourself!"

When he just stared back up at her she continued her rant, "I am going to talk to Rose tomorrow morning. She's going to invite Scorpius here."

At the mention of his son's name, Draco visibly twitched and Hermione smirked, "Ah, yes, Malfoy, your son, Scorpius. Remember him? Yes, I thought so. You are going to promise me, right here and now, that you will never ever try to kill yourself again. Ever. You have a son, and yes, you lost the love of your life, but you still have a part of her…in him. You are all he has left, what would happen if he lost both his parents? What then Malfoy?"

Draco took a shuddering breath and nodded, "I understand. I love my son. I promise, Hermione."

Hermione blinked, "What? What did you call me?"

"Hermione."

She slid to her knees, for a third time this night, and placed her hand on his knee. He peeked through his wet hair, his icy gaze looking at her intently, and she felt a shiver go down her spine, "Why?"

He lifted his hand and placed it on hers, "Because, after a night such as this…we cannot simply go on calling each other by our last names, can we?"

She shook her head, causing her tangled wet hair to whip back and forth, "No I suppose not…but you do, you promise not to try to kill yourself anymore?"

She heard him swallow, "Yes. I promise. For Scorpius."

She sat with him until the storm calmed and then helped him lay back in the bed. She picked up his wet clothes from the floor and turned to the door. He was already asleep, but just to be on the safe side she went over the bathroom across the hall and grabbed a bottle of dreamless sleep potion. Going back to him she tilted his head back and let a few drops slide from the bottle and into his mouth. He needed to sleep…without the nightmares. Tonight had been too much, and if he woke again, she didn't know what would happen.

Closing the door behind her she sighed, now she had the task of cleaning up the mess he made.

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Hand still on the doorknob, Hermione took a deep breath and twisted it. Draco was still asleep; covers twisted around his legs. He might have had a dreamless sleep, but it was obvious it was restful. She walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. For the first time she was able to really look at him. He had crow's feet by his eyes and a few lines on his forehead. Parts of his blond hair, had strands of gray speckled through it. There were purple circles under his eyes. He was much too thin for a man of his age, and his nails were jagged where they gripped the blanket; most likely from being bitten constantly.

Hermione rubbed her eyes, she had a lot of work to do, but hopefully seeing Scorpius would help his dilemma. She removed her hands from her eyes and startled; Draco's eye were open and he was watching her.

"What are you doing, Hermione?"

Still feeling strange hearing her name come from her mouth, she stood up from the bed and stepped away, "I was just coming to wake you up. Scorpius will be here soon. Rose and Hugo went to wait for him at the Leaky Cauldron. He's flooing here."

Draco sat up and swung his legs out of the bed, placing his feet on the floor. She watched as he stretched and then turned his attention back to her, "Did she tell him what happened?"

"No. I didn't tell her either. I only told her that you were having a bad night and that you didn't mean to startle her. No one knows what happened…but I do think you should tell your son at some point. You shouldn't hide things from him any longer. I don't agree with Narcissa keeping him hidden away."

"You're right, as usual."

She scoffed at him, "Get dressed, Draco. I'll go make tea." She shook her head at him as she left the room. Heading to the kitchen, she began the process of making tea. Once she filled the kettle and placed it on the stove to boil, she found a nice platter and began placing cookies she'd baked earlier on it. She was sure the children would want a snack before dinner. Just as the kettle began to whistle, Draco walked into the room and plopped down on a chair. He looked like hell, but definitely better than last night.

He'd showered because his hair was wet, Hermione observed as she began placing tea bags in mugs and filling them with the hot water. He had also shaved and put on fresh clothes. He was wearing light blue jeans and a navy blue button up shirt. He looked alright she thought. She was just about to tell him how nice he looked when the front door opened in the other room. They heard the chatter of the teenagers and both glanced at each other. They hadn't discussed how they would handle this situation yet.

Shrugging, Draco hurriedly exited the room just before Rose, Hugo, and Scorpius walked in laughing. They stopped and stared at Hermione who was holding the empty kettle in the air. She cleared her throat and replaced the kettle on the stove, then turned to smile at their guest, "Scorpius, how nice to finally meet you! Welcome to my home!" She walked over and took both his hands in her own as a warm greeting.

Scorpius smiled at her, and Merlin be damned, he had Draco's smile…and eyes, not to mention, he pretty much was the spitting image if him all around. It was eerie, but in a good way. She released his hands and he spread them wide, "This is a really nice place you have here Ms. Granger. Thank you for having Rose invite me over. It was really nice of you."

"Oh, you're welcome, dear." She turned and picked up the tray of cookies, "Shall we all head into the living room for some tea and cookies?"

Everyone nodded and she handed the tray to her son before gesturing to her daughter to help her with the mugs. Scorpius reached to help to, but stepped back with a confused look on his face, "Ms. Granger, there's an extra mug here…what do you want to me to do with it?"

She hesitated and opened her mouth to speak, but Draco chose that moment to enter the kitchen, "That would be my mug, Scorpius."

Everyone in the room turned and stared at Draco who stood in the doorway from the hall. Scorpius set the mug down and walked over to his father never tearing his eyes from Draco's face. When they stood in front of each other, Scorpius whispered, "Father, what are you doing here?"

Draco lifted his chin, "It's a long story, really."

Scorpius turned and looked at Rose, "Did you know he would be here?"

She nodded with a small smile and the boy turned back to his father. Hermione wondered if they were always this stiff with one another, or if it had just been a long time for them. She raised her eyebrow at Draco, hoping he would get the message and relax with his son. The boy was obviously surprised to see him and afraid of why he was there.

Draco caught her eye and then gazed back at his son. He slowly opened his arms and then wrapped them around the boy in front of him. Scorpius seemed a bit reluctant at first, but then he wrapped his arms around his dad as well. It was very strange to see Draco hugging someone, because she was still wrapping her mind around the fact that Draco had such strong emotions in the first place.

When they let go of each other, Scorpius laughed, a bit embarrassed at the show of affection he just experienced in front of his friends. In a way to diffuse the situation, Hermione clapped her hands together and smiled brightly, "Alright then, let's have our tea before it gets cold."

The group made their way into the living room and the kids sat on the floor while Draco and Hermione took up places on the couch. Hugo immediately began eating some of the cookies and this caused Rose and Scorpius to laugh hysterically. Hugo grinned, mouth full of cookie, but when he caught his mother's eye, he promptly shut his mouth. Rose prodded him with her elbow, and Scorpius laughed again. It was refreshing to see that her children were friends with a Malfoy. Times were so different from when she and Draco had gone to Hogwarts.

Scorpius let a smile grace his face, "Hugo is known for his eating habits at school. Rose and I tease him all the time about it. He was eating at the Leaky Cauldron when I arrived!"

"Hugo, you'll spoil your dinner." Hermione chastised her son with a smile upon her lips. He swatted his hand at her playfully.

Hermione turned her attention to Scorpius, "Are you excited to return to Hogwarts for your last year?"

He sipped his tea, "Oh, of course, Ms. Granger. I'll be Head Boy. It's going to be a great year."

Draco leaned forward, "You're Head Boy this year. Congratulations, son. I am very proud of you."

Scorpius tilted his head, "I thought you knew already. Grandmother sent you a letter."

"I haven't gotten any letter from your grandmother in quite some time."

"She told me she sent it."

"Scorpius, I want to be honest with you. I have been staying here with Hermione for almost a month now."

"Why?"

"It just happens that she is my Psyche Healer. She felt it would be best for me to stay here rather than at the Manor or at the hospital for treatment. The Manor is still under construction, from the fire, anyway. I've had some setbacks, and that is why you were asked to visit. You are part of my treatment, son. We've been apart for too long. There are many things you do not know, but that I will tell you later when we have time alone."

Scorpius nodded as he took everything in. Hermione watched a myriad of emotions flutter through his eyes: anger, sadness, acceptance, curiosity. He sat up and crossed his left ankle over the right one and shrugged. "I suspected that Grandmother was not telling me everything, but I never thought that she would keep things from me. So, let me guess, father, you've tried to off yourself again? That is why you're here, right?"

"Yes, Scorpius, I have tried to kill myself a few times since the last I saw you. Your Grandmother was trying to protect you—''

"I do not need protected. I am of age."

"Yes, yes, I know that, but I believe she will always think of you as her grandbaby."

"That's ridiculous. I should have been home all summer; helping you."

"What's done is done. We have a few days time before you return to Hogwarts. We will make the most of it, understand?"

"Yes father."

No one knew exactly what to do after that so they all finished their tea in silence. Once everyone had sat there for long enough, Hermione suggested that Rose and Hugo go upstairs and find something to keep them busy while she began dinner. This would give Draco and Scorpius some time alone. Draco looked at her with grateful eyes as she shoved her children out of the room and turned to give him a small smile as she entered the kitchen.

Hermione sighed as the sound of quiet discussion began in the living room. She was glad that the two were reconnecting. After months of not being able to talk to one another, she knew that they needed this reunion more than anything. They both lost someone all those months ago. They both lost the person closest to them, really.

Blocking out any more thoughts, Hermione got started on dinner.

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A few hours later, the five sat down to a dinner of lasagna and salad. They discussed the upcoming school year merrily now that all the bad blood was behind Scorpius and Draco. Rose and Scorpius explained in detail their plans for the Prefects, which caused Hugo to groan unhappily about all the rules they had to follow as Prefects. Hermione and Draco both agreed that there were a lot of rules, but one could still have fun. Besides, Hugo was going to be the playing on the Gryffindor Quidditch team; he'd be having plenty of fun.

Dinner was going smoothly until Hugo asked what Hogwarts was like back when they were students there. Draco said it was great up until the sixth year when it all went to shit for him due to the fact that he had a task from Voldemort to complete. He explained how he never rested much and that he was always on edge. Hermione had to agree that he was even more difficult to deal with during that year. He denied he was ever difficult to deal with…and that, well that was when the argument began.

They had just finished eating when Hermione snapped, "How can you deny that you weren't difficult to deal with, Draco?"

Draco sipped his water, "Come off it, Hermione, that's such old news."

She placed her hands flat on the table and leaned forward to glare into his icy gray eyes. She was starting to crack, she knew that, but it had been a good two days without a drink and she was starting to lose it just a little bit. So this is why she decided to start a full out argument in front of their children.

"I will not come off it. Does your son even know how you acted back in school?"

Draco threw down his napkin with a smirk, "If it's a fight you want, Granger, then, sure, let's do this. No, I never really talked about the past with Scorpius. It's not something I ever cared to share with anyone."

"What the bloody hell are you talking about, Malfoy?" If he was going to slip back into old ways, she would too.

"I didn't want Scorpius growing up with the misdeeds of my past weighing down on his shoulders."

Hermione pushed her chair away from the table, "So, you are telling me that he knows not of how you treated muggleborns or how you tormented so many people, including Harry Potter?"

Scorpius chimed in, "You tormented Harry Potter?"

Hugo and Rose, having heard the stories from the past gave each other a knowing look and began to clear the table. They knew how heated their mother could be over the subject of pureblood/halfblood/muggleborn status. She'd worked in the Ministry for years in order to secure rights for those of non pure blood families, after all.

"Scorpius, maybe it's best you help your friends clear the table." Draco prompted his son. With a roll of his eyes, he too got up and began to clear dishes.

Hermione was hell bent on keeping the conversation where it was so she carried on, "You insulted us from the very beginning, Malfoy. Making fun of Harry, degrading Ronald about his family, and then there was me. Who can ever forget the countless times you felt the need to bring my blood status into question? I will never forget the first time you said it—''

"Don't do this, Granger."

"I will always remember the first day you called me a, a mudblood."

Rose gasped and dropped a glass. It shattered on the floor as Scorpius turned slowly to face his father. Draco had one hand holding his face the other tapping his fingers loudly upon the table. Scorpius handed Hugo the stack of dishes he held and walked back to the table.

"I cannot believe you called this lovely woman a—I won't even say it, but I cannot believe she's letting you stay in her home after all that."

Hermione turned her attention to the young man while waving her wand to clean up the shattered glass, "Now, Scorpius, it was a long time ago, and I don't hold it against him, really, but for him to go all this time hiding behind a fake account of the past, I can't really ignore that. We both hated each other back then. He hated me for being muggleborn, and I hated him for tormenting my friends."

"But I just don't understand it. I thought he got along with everyone…"

"Don't be silly, son; I do not get along with everyone."

"Well, that's what I thought, father. All this time I looked up to you as some sort of great person, when in reality, you're just like your father—a liar."

"I am not my father." Draco stood from the table and faced his son who was glaring at him with his hands on his hips. "My father was a coward, a criminal, and a heathen. He looked up to a bloody idiot with delusional intentions, and when it was obvious the war wouldn't end the way the Dark Lord wanted, he ran away from it all, taking my mother and I with him. I am not him."

Scorpius snorted, "You're not a coward huh? Then why every time you get scared of living without mum, you go and try to kill yourself? Explain that, father, because to me that makes you a coward." He turned away from his father and walked over to Rose, "I'm out of here." He pushed past Hugo and they all stared at the empty doorway until they heard the door slam.

Rose and Hugo looked to their mother for what to do next, but she was in shock. What had she done? She swallowed and stood up from the table, "Children, go and find Scorpius. He can't have gone too far. Calm him down, get some ice cream, and then bring him back here. I'm sorry," she finished turning to Draco, "I didn't really mean for this to happen, Draco."

Draco didn't respond until Rose and Hugo had left the room. He plopped back into his chair and stared at his empty glass. She picked it up and looked at it more closely. When he'd finished detailing the glass, he placed it back down and looked towards Hermione, "I suppose you'll be drinking tonight?"

Grimacing, Hermione joined him back at the table. She crossed her right leg over her left and covered her face with her hands. She nodded and heard Draco grunt in acknowledgement. She removed her hands and lifted her face to look at him. He looked positively livid, there was actually some color is his face for once. She hadn't seen him look this way since back at Hogwarts. It gave her a thrill up her spine, but she didn't know why, so she suppressed it hoping he wouldn't notice.

"Yes, I will most likely be drinking tonight, but not until the children are all back here, safe sound, and asleep."

"I will be joining you."

Hermione nodded, "Alright."

"Good."

Hermione and Draco sat there staring at each other, just waiting for the children to return. The table remained covered with the remains of their dinner. Draco tapped his fingers upon the table and Hermione clasped her hands together in her lap. Why did things always have to be so screwed up between the two of them?

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	6. I Forgive You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's just say, things get a bit personal for our two main characters.

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"I forgive you.  
We were just a couple of kids  
trying to figure out how to live doing it our way."  
—Kelly Clarkson

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Draco drummed his fingers on the dining room table as he watched Hermione down her fourth tumbler of whiskey on the rocks. He ground his teeth together as she lifted the bottle to refill her glass, causing her to glare at him. They both said nothing as she topped off her drink and planted the bottle back on the table causing it to thud against the hard wood. Just a half hour ago they'd finally decided to clear off the table, and in the process, Hermione had gotten them both large glasses of whiskey to drink. He managed to control himself so far, but as soon as his son and her two kids were back home, he was going to get piss drunk himself. Now, if only Granger could hold it together a bit longer, he was sure they'd be back shortly.

As she tilted her drink to her lips, the ice rattled in the glass and Draco cleared his throat to tell her to slow down, but he never got the chance. She slammed the glass down and threw her hands up in the air.

"What Draco? What is it that you're dying to say to me? Is it that I shouldn't be drinking when something important is going on?"

Draco rolled his eyes and took a tiny sip of his own whiskey before answering her, "I don't give a fuck if you drink or not, but it's probably not a terrific idea for the kids to walk in and find you drunk out of your mind. Aren't you the one who is always saying how important it is for your children never to find out about your drinking habits? I believe you're the one with the custody war with your ex husband currently. I don't care if he finds out, but for some reason, I think you'd be shit out of luck if he did." He tipped his glass to her and then took another sip.

Hermione narrowed her eyes and pushed her glass away, nearly knocking it over in the process. Draco merely smirked at the effect his words had on her. He was never able to get a rise out of her back in school, well there were a few instances, but for the most part, she kept her cool. It was interesting to see this different side to the woman. She played the well put together working mom so well, but when the lights went out, she was this alcohol addicted time bomb. No wonder the Weasel had left when he did. If Astoria had been a raging alcoholic, he probably would have left her too. He'd grown up with alcoholism right under his own roof, and being here now was causing some unhappy memories of the past to visit him. But those memories were much easier to deal with than the pain he felt every time he thought of his dead wife.

"Fine, Draco. I'll control myself and not have any more whiskey until later. I wonder what's keeping them anyway. It's getting late."

Draco was just about to respond when they heard the front door open. He relaxed in his chair, but Hermione stood unsteadily and had to hold onto the back of her chair to keep from falling. With an inward groan, he stood up just in case he needed to help her from falling over. The whiskey they were drinking was pretty strong and he was actually feeling slightly tipsy from the small amount he'd already consumed. This was going to be a good night.

The three kids appeared in the doorway. Hugo smiling, still holding a half eaten ice cream cone, Scorpius with his arms crossed over his chest and adamantly glaring at his sneakers, and then there was Rose, who looked determined. She shoved Scorpius into the room causing him to stumble and then turn his head to glare at her. Rose simply raised her eyebrows at him and reached out to shove him again, but he dodged it this time. He cleared his throat and stepped up to his father.

"Father, I'm sorry for what I said, and for storming out."

Draco looked down at his son and felt his anger and hurt from earlier melt away. This was his only son; his only connection to Astoria that remained. If he pushed him away what would he have left? Probably just alcohol and razors; not something that exactly made you want to wake up every morning. Draco clasped his hand on Scorpius' shoulder and gave him a smile, "It's alright, son. Sometimes we all say things we shouldn't."

Scorpius nodded and then turned towards Hermione, "And I'm sorry for storming out of here and leaving a mess behind."

Draco prayed she wouldn't slur her words as she replied, "Don't worry about it Scorpius. I believe I did nothing to help the situation either." She gave him a wink and then smiled at her own children, "I think there's been enough excitement for one night. Why don't you all head upstairs, help Scorpius get unpacked in Hugo's room and then go to bed. But first, Hugo you either finish that ice cream or get rid of it. You know the rules; no food upstairs."

"Yes mum." Hugo replied happily slurping up the rest of his snack.

"Goodnight." Rose and Scorpius said to them all before leaving the room.

After they heard the trio all the way upstairs Draco watched as Hermione collapsed back into her chair and reached for her glass; downing all the contents in one swift gulp. Draco sighed heavily before joining her back at the table. He knew that he'd be helping Granger to bed tonight; it seemed she was determined to drink the entire bottle of whiskey herself. He reached for the bottle and topped off his glass and raised it to her.

"Here's to you, Granger; holding it together when inside, you're falling apart." He downed his drink and refilled it once more before she could respond.

"I've had years of practice."

"Yes, I know that, but it's fun to see it in person. Here I am, a suicide survivor, watching my supposed Healer self medicate with alcohol. It's ironic isn't it? How did the two of us stumble into each other this way?"

"I don't really know what you're going on about," she began pointing her finger at him, "but, if you're saying that I'm not a decent Healer, you better change your way of thinking. I am one of the highest ranked Healers at St. Mungo's. I save people's lives every single day. I've even helped heal some of the most famous wizards in our world. After I left my job at the Ministry, I threw myself into Healer training. I traveled the world studying different techniques and learned plenty of new magic. Just because I failed one time, and I like my whiskey, does not mean I am incapable of healing you."

"I never said you were incapable, I'm just saying that you have a strange way of going about it. Why did you really bring me here, Granger? Why am I living here watching you slowly kill your liver?"

She chuckled darkly at him, "First, don't think I haven't noticed that you're calling me Granger again, and second, I brought you here to help you…I apologize if it hasn't really been going the way you planned."

He stretched his legs out and thought about her response. She was right; things really weren't going the way he thought they would be. He thought he would be locked in a tiny room all day writing in a journal and constantly talking about his feelings. Instead, he was actually a living person in the household. He helped cook, clean, and even was permitted to participate in family activities. He was learning about Muggle devices such as the television and cellular phones. Most importantly he was learning how to not to depend on magic for every little thing…and in the process there were parts of the day, hours even, that he went without dwelling on his lost wife. Maybe Granger was doing her job after all. He smirked at his drinking companion and opened his hands.

"I will admit this is the most unconventional way of healing I have ever heard of or experienced, but it's not all bad."

Hermione smiled and lifted her glass to him, "I will take that as a compliment, thank you very much."

He laughed and lifted his glass up to clink against hers. They both smiled cheekily at one another before drinking from their glasses. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes and Draco heard the sound of bedroom doors closing upstairs. A glance at the clock on the wall indicated that it was nearly eleven thirty. The children must be finally going to sleep. Taking that as his cue, Draco poured himself a generous glass of the amber liquid and let it sit with the remnants of his ice before taking a sip. He watched Hermione as she picked at her fingernails and frowned. He always remembered her as a lip biter, not a nail biter. Then again, he had always been one to use magic to deal with his problems. This was one of her ways of coping; drinking and nail biting.

He sat up as he noticed a scar on her arm. It couldn't be, could it? He tried to get a better look, but she moved her arm to pick up her glass and the spot was again covered up. He glanced down at his own scar; the faded Dark Mark. It was supposed to have disappeared after the demise of the Dark Lord, but he and other former Death Eaters, still found a very pale outline of the offensive tattoo on their skin. In that moment Draco knew he had some deep apologizing to do to the witch who sat across from him drowning her sorrows in a glass of whiskey.

"Hermione," he began causing her to whip her face up to look at him, "I know we have briefly discussed this before, but there are some things that I want to apologize for; from the past."

"Come on, Draco, we've been over this. You—''

"Yes. I do."

She let her breath flow out through her nose and nodded so Draco sat up in his seat and placed his hands flat on the table. This would take all the courage and patience he had. He was not one for apologizing, but if he ever planned on getting over himself and his grief; this was something that he felt he needed to do. He'd done so much over the years to hurt her, and sure she said she was over it, but he wasn't. And unless he did this, right now, he suspected it would haunt him forever.

"When I was growing up, I had to follow the beliefs of my parents. I was homeschooled before Hogwarts, so I knew nothing of the Muggle world. I never learned about the good of Muggles; I was only taught to hate them. I was taught that if you were not a pureblood; you basically were worthless. I didn't encounter any Muggleborns until I boarded the train to Hogwarts. My parents, especially my father, instructed me not to befriend anyone outside of Slytherin because they were not worth my time…and I believed him. As a child I idolized my father; what a sham he turned out to be. When I discovered the Dark Lord's blood status I began to doubt the cause we were fighting for. Why should we destroy and exile Muggleborns? What was the point? There was none."

"But Draco this happened so long ago. Why does it matter so much to you now?" Hermione reached out and placed her hand on top of Draco's. She squeezed slightly, but he pulled it back to run through his hair.

"It matters because my beliefs back then shaped how I treated those around me. I acted like some sort of king; like everyone was below me because I was from one of the oldest wizarding families around. In reality; I was scum. It all started in first year for me. I treated you like you were dirt on the bottom of my precisely polished shoes." Hermione made to interrupt him again but he held his hand up to stop her and continued.

"I was only a kid, I know that, but I know I must have caused you some damage along the way. I threw verbal attacks and curses at you. I lost count somewhere along the way how many times I made your bag split causing your books to fall everywhere. I insulted your blood status, your hair, your teeth, and your intellect. Not to mention how I was always trying to find ways to get you, Potter, and Weasel into trouble. I got myself into trouble trying to get you three busted more than once."

Hermione laughed and Draco felt himself relax a bit. It was nice that she could be so calm and laid back about the things he was discussing. They did happen over 25 years ago. But he wasn't finished yet. Before the night was over, he wanted to clean out his closet. He wanted a fresh conscience.

"So, Hermione, first, I want to apologize for the way I acted towards you while at Hogwarts. I should never have been like that with you. You were the smartest witch in school and your blood status should not have affected the way I looked at you."

Hermione finished the whiskey in her glass and stared at him with glazed eyes, "Draco, I have forgiven you for this a long time ago. I came to terms with the way you treated me years ago. You have nothing to worry about. I do not hate you any longer. In fact, I'm not sure I ever really hated you. Looking back I think I knew that you were just acting the way you thought you should. It's not a big deal. Now let's have some more to drink and relax before bed."

"There's a little bit more I want to apologize for."

Hermione gave him a puzzled look and asked, "What?"

Draco held out his hand and asked, "May I see your arm?"

"M-my arm?" She questioned pulling it close to her chest and trying to cover it with her sleeve. He nodded his head and stared her down, but not in a hostile way. He wanted her to know he was serious. He needed to see it. He wanted to face his fears. She looked down at her arm and then back up at his face. Her eyes seemed to be holding back unshed tears. Hermione swallowed, "Well, alright." She held out her arm.

She held out her hand and he took it in his. Her skin was surprisingly soft; he had never noticed before. This was the first time he'd touched her so gently. Normally he would just pick her up and carry her to bed after one of her drunken episodes. He never even thought twice about touching her, but now, he felt almost embarrassed as he slowly slid up her sleeve and revealed the smooth, pale skin of her forearm. She shivered at his touch, but he held strong. Unfortunately, the entire arm was not clean and flawless. There in an angry sort of red was the word he hated the most: Mudblood. He flinched when he saw it. In all the years since the war, it had not faded; it was still looked as fresh as if it had happened yesterday.

Glancing up he met her eyes. A few tears had escaped and were rolling freely down her cheeks. He watched as she used her other arm to attempt and dry them. He returned his attention to her scar, and as Hermione had done to his arms, he ran one gentle finger over the word. He felt her shiver again, and with one final glance, returned her sleeve to the way it was before, but he didn't let go of her hand. He stood and walked around the table until he was in front of her. Kneeling down he left go of her hand and used his thumb to rid her cheeks of the tears cascading down them.

"Don't cry Hermione."

"I don't mean to…it's just that having you looking at my scar; it brings back the memories of Bellatrix and the night she gave it to me. I haven't really thought about it for years. It's become a part of me; something I don't really even notice unless someone points it out."

"I want you to know how sorry I am about that night, Hermione."

"You don't need to be sorry for that…" she trailed off tucking a loose curl behind her ear.

"My own aunt tortured you in my own home while I stood by and did nothing."

Hermione leaned forward until their faces were merely inches apart, "If you had tried to stop her, Draco, she would have killed you, and then me."

"Maybe not…I was always her favorite, not that it was such a privilege, mind you, but if I had stopped her, you might not have that scar today. Potter and Weasley could have gotten you out of there without it."

She sighed and placed both hands on his shoulders, "Please do not beat yourself up over this. It happened so long ago…although I admit it was one of the most horrifying experiences of my life, I never held it against you. You bothering me in school, yes, I blamed you for that, but not this. Voldemort had taken control of your family and Manor; you were only doing what you felt was best. Plus, you did help us that day if you remember."

He shook his head causing his hair to fall onto his forehead, "What do you mean?"

"Don't you remember? You helped keep Harry's identity a secret. If you had told Bellatrix who he was right away, we'd all have been dead and Voldemort would be in control today, so you see, you helped save everyone."

"Looking back, I wish I had the courage to help you. I was such a coward back then…still am…"

Arms still on his shoulders, she shook him gently, "Stop that right now. You stop calling yourself that. Everything is in the past; I've moved on, and now it's time for you to move on as well. You will never get better if you keep dwelling on things. That's what I'm here working on with you."

He knocked his forehead into hers with a silly grin. He didn't know why he did that, but it felt right. Hermione threw her head back and laughed, so he supposed it wasn't a bad thing. Removing her hands from his shoulders he stood up and stretched. He still felt kind of upset, but the pain was leaving. Maybe Granger knew something about this healing thing after all. Plus it helped that they were getting along, well, for the most part. The firewhiskey didn't hurt either.

Standing by the table, Draco picked up the nearly empty bottle of whiskey and took a swig. He didn't bother with a glass. Hermione quirked an eyebrow at him and held out her hand for the bottle which he handed her. She took a swig as well and attempted to stand. She stumbled but Draco caught her just in time. With a little effort he had her standing under his arm and the bottle in his empty hand.

"Come on, Hermione. I think it's time for you to get to bed. It's been a long day for the both of us."

"Yes, I suppose you're right. Will you help me?"

"Sure." He set the bottle on the table and guided her upstairs; she was drunker tonight than she'd been in a while, so he found that he was carrying her more than guiding her. She was rambling about something she wanted to make for dinner tomorrow and he just nodded his head. When they reached her bedroom door he helped her through it and sat her on the bed. She immediately began taking off her shirt.

"Hermione, what the bloody hell are you doing?" Draco sputtered as he turned his back to her quickly. First off, he didn't need to be seeing Granger in her undergarments, and second, he didn't feel it would be right, seeing how he still loved his deceased wife and everything. Hermione simply laughed at his outburst.

"Oh, stop freaking out, Draco," she slurred, "You can turn around now. I'm under the covers."

Draco turned back around and walked over to the bed. Hermione was propped against the pillows with the quilt up to her chin. She had a huge grin on her face and was tapping the bed next to her indicating that Draco should have a seat. He obliged and then pulled his legs fully up onto the bed so he could lounge. Obviously she wasn't ready to go to sleep just yet. Maybe he could explain some things to her.

"Hermione, did you know that my mother is a recovering alcoholic?" He asked her simply, without meeting her eyes.

"No, I didn't. I'd never heard that before."

"Yes, it wasn't well known. Mostly just our family and our close group of friends knew; mother didn't want people to know. She got sober after the war." He smoothed out the quilt beside him and leaned down, propping his head up with his hand. Hermione was staring at him with a curious expression on her face. She was most likely going to grill him about his mother now, but that's what he wanted.

"Why did she get sober?"

"She was tired of being drunk all the time. During the war, it seemed like no big deal to her I guess; she was trying to deal with the world, the war, and everything that was going on under our roof. After the war ended she made my father throw out all the alcohol in the Manor, and when we moved to France, she wouldn't let anyone bring any into the chateau. She hasn't touched a drop since, and to be honest, I try not to drink around her. She's finally happy. After the life she had with my father she deserves this happiness."

Hermione nodded solemnly and then ran a hand through her hair. She seemed deep in thought about something, but it was hard to tell about what. She could take the conversation in many different directions. It was a bit unnerving how relaxed and at ease Draco had come to feel in her presence. It was as if he could tell her anything. In that moment, he knew that he would answer any question she threw at him. No more lies, no more dodging questions, and especially, no more holding back. He owed her that much at least.

"I think that someday, I'd like to get sober. I'm not ready right now."

"Why not?"

"I just know that I wouldn't be able to do it."

"You're Hermione Granger; the brightest with of your age, and you don't think you can get sober?"

"Well, not on my own, anyway. I couldn't do what your mother did. I'm not brave enough."

"You're kidding me right?" Draco shook his head at her, "You're a Gryffindor." He was shocked to hear her saying she was a coward about something. It just didn't mesh with the image he'd always had of her. She'd always been so brave in his eyes. Something had gone wrong with this witch, and he hoped that someday, she'd be able to overcome it.

"I am not joking around, Draco. Someday, I will deal with this problem, but for now, I'm…fine living the way I do."

Instead of replying right away, Draco sat in silence staring out the window. The buzz from the whiskey was finally wearing off and was starting to be replaced with a dull throbbing behind his eye. He should probably get some sleep, but for some reason, he couldn't tear himself away from the conversation just yet.

Hermione leaned over and clicked off the lamp and snuggled deeper into the quilt. He thought she was showing that she was ready to go to sleep, but as he went to get up from the bed, she stopped him.

"Why was your mother so unhappy, Draco?"

He settled back down and sat up straight, "He used to abuse her; not physically, but mentally and verbally. Sometimes, he would cast a freezing spell on her and then just scream in her face. It hadn't always been like that though. They used to just fight, mostly, but then as the war came on it became more sadistic, and it drove her to drinking. After the war, he just stopped; cold turkey, just like mother stopped her drinking."

In the dark, Draco watched Hermione slowly shaking her head as she took it all in, "You had a rough life."

"I guess you could say that. It wasn't what I had always wanted, but it turned out alright in the end. My father got what was coming to him, my mother is finally in love and happy, and I have my…my son."

"Astoria would want you to be happy, you know? You can find your happiness again someday."

"I know…but I'm not ready yet."

"Touché."

They laughed a little and then Draco finally stood up, "I think I'm going to get some sleep. You should do the same. I'll check in on you in the morning; there's some hangover potion in your bedside drawer if you need it."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Draco headed towards the door, opened it, and stepped into the hallway. He was just about to pull the door closed, when Hermione once again stopped him.

"Malfoy?" It came out in a teasing sort of tone, so he decided to tease right back.

"What is it, Granger?" He smirked and could just make out her face in the dim light from the hallway that flooded the room.

"I forgive you." She said it in a serious tone, and it made Draco have chills all over. He didn't know what to say so he simply nodded his head towards her and shut the bedroom door quietly. Leaning his back against it, he heard her begin to cry on the other side. He ran a hand over his tired face and sank his head into his chest with a deep sigh.

This thing they had going on was more complicated than it should be.

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	7. Prisoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for the kids to head back to school. Ron starts with Hermione. Our fave pair heads to dinner. Ensue emotional Hermione.

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"I'm prepared for all the consequences  
Believe me, I have the worst intentions."—Jefree Star

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"Hurry up, Hugo. If you don't get a move on you're going to miss the train." Hermione frantically ushered her son through King's Cross station with Draco and Scorpius following behind. Rose was already well ahead, and close to entering the barrier between platforms nine and ten, while Hugo slowly meandered through the crowd looking for a snack machine. "There will be an opportunity to purchase snacks on the train!"

Hugo threw a pouting look over his shoulder and huffed. "I know, mum, but I'm hungry now," he whined, "Besides, what if I miss the trolley while I'm in the Prefects meeting?"

"Then I am sure you can ask one of your friends to grab you something while you're gone. I don't see what the problem is. You had three helpings of pancakes at breakfast."

Hugo rolled his eyes and followed Rose through the barrier. Hermione turned and received a half smile from Draco as he pushed for Scorpius to go next. After the three kids had all disappeared through the brick wall, Hermione hesitated, which caused Draco to stop as well. He turned and placed a hand on her forearm. She gave him a grateful smile, "Ron will be in there, you know."

"Yes," he said tentatively as he removed his hand to run it though his hair, "You'll be fine."

She laughed, "I was more worried about you."

"I am here to send my son off to school. I have every right to be here, just as he does, so I will not allow myself to worry about Ronald fucking Weasley and his prejudice against me."

He took her hand then and casually leaned against the barrier pulling her with him, a small smile playing at her lips. It was true he had every right to be there, and she, well, she had every right to be there with him. The war was long over, her prejudices were long gone, and apparently so were Draco's. As they entered the platform Hermione took a deep breath and Draco let go of her hand to go and find Scorpius. Hermione moved out of the way of the barrier and began scanning the area for her son and daughter. She immediately found Rose laughing with Scorpius near the front of the train, closest to the Head's compartment, and then she spotted Hugo…he was talking to his father.

With an inward groan and a deep breath, Hermione strutted over to her ex and her son, glad to notice that Harry and Ginny were standing close by with their children. Good. That meant that maybe Ron would keep his ignorant comments to himself for once. "Hugo, you forgot your money." Hermione began searching through her purse, looking for Hugo's pouch as she stopped next to him.

"Oh, no need, Hermione. I took care of it."

Her head snapped up and she narrowed her eyes at Ron, "What do you mean?" Her hand closed around Hugo's pouch, and she held it steady in her hand, letting her purse fall back beside her hip. She swallowed hard, hoping to keep her emotions in check; after all, they were surrounded by other people.

"I figured you wouldn't have the extra money to give the children, so I just gave them both a good bit to last until the holidays." He sniffed haughtily and placed his hands in the pockets of his robes. Hermione stared at him incredulously as she placed the pouch into Hugo's outstretched hand.

"And what exactly does that mean, Ronald?" She pulled her hand back after Hugo took the money and placed it on her hip. "Are you insinuating that I do not make enough money to support my children?" Her voice was dreadfully cold and Hugo slowly backed away from the pair, moving towards his aunt and uncle. Hermione ignored his departure and continued to glare at Ron who was standing there nonchalantly as if there wasn't a problem at all.

"I just figured that with that scoundrel living under your roof, and the fact that you haven't been to work in weeks, you may not have the extra money to give Rose and Hugo for the semester." He picked an imaginary piece of lint from his robes and then returned his hand to the pocket.

Hermione inhaled sharply and pointed her finger at him, "Don't you even go there, Ronald. I have plenty of money saved up—so much even, that I could take months off from work and live comfortably! I'm not the one who goes out to fancy restaurants every other night and takes ridiculously expensive trips all over the world. That's you. Ever since Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes went global, you've acted like your some sort of millionaire extraordinaire! I have money to give my children, so don't you dare try to belittle me." She used her finger to probe him in the chest after her little rant and he had the audacity to snort at her.

"No need to get all defensive, Hermione. I was simply saving you the money. This way you can buy food for your prisoner." He went to turn away from her, but she didn't let him, grabbing onto his arm and causing him to whirl back to face her.

"Draco is not my prisoner. He is my patient, and I think it best that you get it through your befuddled mind." She turned and pointed towards Draco who was laughing and having a pleasant conversation with Rose and Hugo. "Does that look like a crazed Death Eater menace to you? No, because he's normal like the rest of us. He cares about his son, and he's nice to our children. He's not the man he used to be…and neither are you, Ronald Weasley!"

Ron narrowed his eyes as he looked where Hermione pointed. "How dare he talk to my daughter. I'm going over there right this second." He made to move, but luckily at that moment Harry stepped up and put his arm around him with a huge, but fake, grin on his face.

"Hey you two, not fighting in public, are we?"

Ginny stood next to Hermione, looking anxiously between her friend and her brother. Harry continued, "People are starting to look over here. What's going on?" He never dropped the smile on his face and Ginny placed a comforting hand on Hermione's arm.

Ron went to speak first, but Ginny shut him up with a glare, so Hermione spoke, "Oh Ron here was just insulting my financial status and planned on going over there to embarrass Draco, his son, and our daughter."

"Ron! What's wrong with you?" Ginny let go of Hermione to cross her arms in front of her chest. "You shouldn't start a scene here."

Harry frowned at his long time friend. "He shouldn't be starting a scene at all. There's nothing wrong with Malfoy talking to Rose, and why are you insulting Hermione? Quit being such a prat." Harry let his arm fall away from his friend's shoulders and turned towards Hermione. "You okay?"

"Besides being completely infuriated, I'm fine." She smiled sarcastically for Ron's benefit and the five minute warning whistle sounded from the train. She sighed and looked towards her children. "I'm going to say goodbye. I'd appreciate it if you gave me a minute before coming over and ruining it."

Ron made to open his mouth in retort, but Harry elbowed him into silence. Hermione rolled her eyes at his antics and walked over to Rose and Hugo who were both standing and looking upset by the front of the train. She smiled warmly at them and gave each a long lingering hug. "You two be good and study hard, alright?" She held a hand of each of theirs and they clasped hands as well, forming a little circle. "The holidays will be here before you know it, and we'll be together again."

"I promise to write every week," whispered Rose, her voice thick with emotion. She truly was her mother's daughter. "I'm nervous…"

"Don't be nervous, darling; you're going to be a great Head Girl." She turned to her son. "And you, Hugo, will be a great Prefect…just keep the pranks to a minimum, and you'll be fine."

Hugo sniggered, "I'll try, mum."

"Good, now you two say goodbye to your father and get on the train before it leaves" She squeezed their hands and let go, giving each a small kiss on the cheek. She had to laugh when Hugo made a fake gagging noise and swiped it away, but she saw the slight blush and smile creep onto his face as she turned to walk away. She loved her children deeply, and wished she got to spend more time with them, but it was what it was.

She walked backwards and straight into someone as she watched Ron smothering her kids with words and fake promises. She looked behind her to find Draco standing there watching as well. He looked down at her with a raised eyebrow. "Disgusting, isn't it," he asked with a quick smile before returning his gaze to the sight.

She simply nodded as Ron ushered them onto the train. She was glad when he spotted someone he wanted to talk to and walked in the opposite direction of them. Hermione sighed and turned to face Draco. "How was Scorpius with leaving you?"

Draco shrugged. "I guess alright. He seemed reluctant to leave, but I told him to go and enjoy his last year at Hogwarts because if he didn't, he'd wonder about it forever."

"Like us."

"Yes, exactly like us…but wait, didn't you go back?" He quirked that eyebrow again and it was Hermione who shrugged this time.

"I only went back to take my NEWTs. That's all. I wish the war had happened after seventh year…but then again…"

"I would have still missed it, and you and Potter would have never found all those Horcuxes in time." She tucked a curl behind her ear at the comment then began looking for Harry and Ginny. The train whistle blew before she spotted them, causing her and Draco to turn to watch as the scarlet Hogwarts Express left the station. They stood there until it was completely gone; Hermione feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness as her daughter went off for her last year. Time was always moving forward, wasn't it?

She finally caught sight of Harry and Ginny and pointed them out to Draco. "I just want to go and say goodbye, if you don't mind."

Draco followed her finger with his eyes. "Sure. May I come with you?"

"Alright."

The two made their way through the departing crowd of parents and family members brushing past them, but were stopped by some harsh laughter before they had even gotten halfway. Hermione turned and frowned; Ron was standing near them with his arm around Padma Patil's shoulder. Padma looked a bit uncomfortable with the situation, but then again, she was wearing a huge ruby pendant necklace that settled between the cleavage shown by her low cut, skin tight, black dress. So this was Ron's new girlfriend? By the size of that ruby it was hard to be sure if she was his girlfriend, or his prize. Hermione sent an angry look in his direction before starting to move again, Draco close behind, but Ron had taken Padma's hand and followed after them. She decided to ignore her ex and his pettiness as she managed to get close to Harry and Ginny.

"I see your prisoner is still following you around, Hermione."

The fact that Ron's comment didn't even make sense wasn't what bothered her enough to turn around; it was the fact that Padma actually laughed at him that made her stop in her tracks and whip around so quickly that Draco was forced to grab her shoulders to steady his self. He apologized and stepped aside as Hermione surged past him to get to Ron.

"What was that, Ronald?" She asked getting right up in his face, causing Padma to have to let go of her boyfriend's arm to move away. "If you have something to say to me, you better say it to my face." She was seeing red, and it wasn't Ron's perfectly gelled hair.

Ron chuckled darkly at her and took a step back, "I was just pointing out how well you have him trained. He just follows along after you so willingly. It must be such a strain for him, considering how much he used to loath you and other Muggleborns." Ron's gaze flicked over Hermione's shoulder to rest on Draco's narrowed eyes. Draco was holding it together rather well, considering the person he hated most in the world was insulting him. It wasn't Draco who lost their cool, though, it was Hermione.

"How dare you say such a thing, Ronald?" She took a step forward so she was once again right in front of his face. "You have no right to speak to him like that, or me, for that matter. You're completely barbaric!"

"It's all right, Hermione. Let him make a fool out of himself. He's not worth it." Draco came forward and placed a hand on her shoulder, in what seemed a way to calm her down. This only added to Ron's fuel however.

Ron smiled cruelly. "It appears you have him better trained than I thought. He's now calling you by your first name and attempting to protect you. How touching."

Hermione arched her eyebrow and looked towards Padma. "Well, it seems you have Padma trained as well." She motioned towards her former schoolmate. "Tell me, Ronald, did you give her that lovely ruby necklace before, or after, you fucked her?"

Many things happened at once from the words Hermione uttered. First, Padma gasped and flung a hand up to her throat at the same time Ron spat out, "You bitch," before attempting to lunge for Hermione. Luckily, Draco was there to force his way in front of her, using his left arm to shove her behind his back. It was at that time that Harry came running up from behind to separate them. "What the bloody hell is going on over here?" Harry hissed, moving his head from one wizard to the other. Padma was crying and Ginny had placed her arm around Hermione.

Draco was glaring at Ron who was breathing quite heavily. "Ask your dear old friend here; he's been instigating problems with Hermione again." He thrust his chin towards Ron. Ron straightened up and fixed his robes that had slipped in his attempt to get at his ex wife.

"Me? Hermione is clearly insane. She just insulted my girlfriend for no reason!"

"No reason," Draco laughed, "You're insulting her sanity, judgment, and character. She has every right to lash out; you do nothing but put her down!"

Harry sighed heavily. "Alright. I get it. Now will you all calm down? Everyone is starting to stare. We're all War Heroes here; this will surely make the front page if it gets out. They love to gossip, and I'm sure all of you could do without bad press."

Ginny spoke up from the back, "Ronald, what if your children were here? How can you treat their mother the way you do? I don't even understand what happened to you." She shook her head and dropped her hand from Hermione to run it through her red hair.

Ron threw his hands into the air. "This is just hilarious; all of it. I'm always made out to be the bad guy; well not this time. I'm done. I'll be contacting the lawyers first thing tomorrow morning. There is no way in hell I'm allowing my children to come and stay with you during the holidays, Hermione. You're too unstable and you have this piece of filth living under your roof." He gestured roughly towards Draco.

Draco cracked his knuckles as Hermione stepped forward again. "You have nothing to go on, Ronald. You won't win." She placed her hand warmly on Draco's arm to calm him and spoke straight into Ron's eyes, "Draco will probably be gone by then, and I am completely sane; angry, but sane."

"I'm done playing games with you Hermione. This time I'm not messing around; the lawyers are going to hear about, everything. They're going to hear about this little episode, not to mention your dirty little secret." Ron smiled and put his hand in Padma's, who was drying her face with a tissue.

Harry looked back and forth between his two best friends and asked, "What do you mean, dirty little secret?" At the same time, Hermione whispered angrily, "Ron, you wouldn't."

"Oh, don't you know Harry? Hermione has been hiding a very big secret all these years. I thought you of all people, would know. Malfoy here knows, seeing as he lives with her." He leveled his gaze on Draco who took a step forward, past Hermione.

Ginny cleared her throat, "Ron, what in Merlin's name are you going on about?"

It wasn't Ron, or even Hermione, who answered the question though; it was Padma, who had cleared her face of tears and had stuck her nose in the air.

"Hermione is an alcoholic."

Draco rubbed his hands over his face at the looks on Harry and Ginny's faces. Hermione had inhaled sharply and flung herself at Ron; this time Draco let her go, but Harry caught her at the last second before she barreled into Ron. "No Hermione, don't." He whispered, righting her as Ginny came up to hold her protectively.

"You promised you wouldn't say anything, Ron…" Hermione began to sob into Ginny's jacket. Harry turned towards Ron. "You're seriously not going to try and get full custody of Rose and Hugo? It will destroy her."

"I will do whatever I need to in order to make sure my children are safe, and if that means keeping them from their mother; so be it." He turned away, "Now if you all don't mind, Padma and I have lunch reservations." In a pop that Hermione would remember forever, the two Disapparated.

Harry turned to Draco. "Is he right? Is she really an alcoholic?"

Draco simply nodded and Harry pulled Hermione from his wife's grasp so he could look into her face. "Hermione, I don't understand why Ron is being this way, but it won't happen, okay. We won't let him take Rose and Hugo away from you."

Ginny crossed her arms across her chest. "Who gives a flying piss if Hermione likes to drink? She's a great mother and the lawyers will see that."

Hermione sniffed and wiped at her face. "Thank you. I hope you're right. Ron has been keeping my secret for so long; I'm sorry for not telling you sooner…I'm embarrassed by it."

Giving her a lopsided smile and Harry shrugged. "It's alright. You just get yourself better and everything will be fine. It'll work out."

She nodded back, and a few minutes later the four said their goodbyes. Hermione didn't feel any better about the situation though. Ron had gotten to her, and that was not good. Who knew what kind of meeting he'd have with the lawyers tomorrow. Harry was right; she needed to get clean. Unfortunately, all she could think about was having a drink—right now.

Hermione sat on a bench until platform 9 ¾ had completely cleared out. Draco stood with his back to her, arms crossed, watching as the station workers cleared any garbage away. She was glad he was giving her some space because she really needed to think. She came today knowing that it would be difficult dealing with Ron, but she hadn't known exactly how hard it would be. She was glad to know that Harry and Ginny had her back—but at the same time she didn't want to cause friction with the Weasleys. After hours of sitting there, Hermione finally stood to leave. Draco turned slowly to face her; his hands splayed out in front of him.

"Can I take you to dinner?" He asked her simply, his face a mask of emotions. Hermione smiled shyly before shrugging.

"Sure. Why not?"

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Draco took Hermione to a little Italian restaurant located in Muggle London. It was a surprise that he even knew of it, and Hermione smiled thinking that maybe Draco knew more about Muggles than she gave him credit for. They were seated quickly and Draco immediately ordered a bottle of white wine; Hermione's favorite. Hermione was still pretty wound up from the ordeal at the station and she couldn't concentrate on deciding what to eat. Sipping the wine was helping her to calm down though. Luckily, when the waitress came over, Draco ordered fettuccini alfredo for the both of them before picking up a piece to bread to butter. Taking a small bite of the fresh bread, he finally looked up at her; a smile playing on his lips.

"Good show today, Granger."

She blushed and felt flustered all over again. She was starting to understand that when he called her Granger he was playing with her. She felt rather warm in the restaurant, so she shrugged out of her sweater. "I don't see what's so funny, Draco. Today was not a good day." She snatched up a piece of bread and reached for the butter and knife to help herself. She glowered in her seat, thinking of what a huge mess today had been and the even larger mess she was going to have to deal with tomorrow.

Draco chuckled lightly before trying again. "Hermione, I can leave, you know. I don't have to stay."

Hermione shot him a glare. "Don't be ridiculous, Draco. You'll end up having to stay at St. Mungo's. Today was just a little blip. Everything will work out." Inside she wasn't so sure though. Today seemed to be a large mistake. She wasn't sure how to come back from it. At least Harry and Ginny had been there for her. Finishing her piece of bread she sipped some more wine while contemplating her next move. Draco wasn't finished discussing the matter however.

"So does Harry always take your side in an argument, or is this a special case?" He was smirking at her over the rim of his wineglass. Hermione scowled. She wasn't sure this was safe territory to be heading into. With a sigh and a refill of her own glass, she decided she might as well humor Draco and answer his questions. He always answered hers.

"Harry agrees with whomever is right, Draco. He does not favor one of us more than the other. He never has. Ron was his best friend first before I came along. I would never ask him to take my side. It just so happens, that Ron has gone off the deep end lately."

"What do mean lately? I feel like he's always been a bit crazy." Draco laughed and bit into the fresh bread chewing slowly as he regarded Hermione's face.

"It's no secret to you that Ron and I didn't have the best marriage. I've explained it to you already, but you don't know how he changed once he became vice president of George's company. He's become a power and money hungry person, and he doesn't stop until he gets what he wants…or destroys it in the process."

"You're telling me that Ron Weasley has money?"

Hermione nodded rolling her eyes at the same time before setting her glass down. "About a year, or so, ago Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes went global. George and Ron opened storefronts in Cannes, Salem, Brazil, Sweden, and Japan. Really anywhere near a Wizarding school. Let's just say that business is booming. Ron lives in a very large house in the countryside near his parent's home. He owns part of the Holyhead Harpries, the Quidditch team Ginny played for, and he is also a partial owner of The Three Broomsticks Inn."

"The Three Broomsticks…in Hogsmeade?" Draco was staring at her like she'd lost her mind.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, the same one. He's always had a sort of thing for Madam Rosmerta."

"That's hilarious." Draco was laughing, dabbing his napkin at the corner of his eyes to catch fake tears.

"Yes, Ginny and I thought so too. "

"So all of this is why he's mental? Come on Hermione, I know he wasn't all there before he became 'rich'."

"Will you hold on? I'm getting there." Hermione buttered another piece of bread in preparation for her meal that should be arriving any moment, before she decided to continue. "Anyways, he started acting like he was some sort of big shot just because he was able to afford all of these things. He began dating many different women, none of which lasted very long, and buying them lavish gifts. Like the necklace Padma was wearing; I'm pretty certain I've seen that on another girlfriend of his, but I could be wrong. I think he felt that now he was able to afford everything he wanted, so Harry would want to be around him all the time. However, Harry has gone his whole life striving to have a normal, simple life. Sure, he and Ginny have money in their vault at Gringotts, but that doesn't mean they're going to flaunt it about and spend it like there's no tomorrow."

Their fettuccini arrived then and Draco asked for a second bottle of wine. Hermione ate a few bites savoring the creamy sauce on her tongue. It felt like heaven to be able to relax with a bottle of wine and have a good meal with Draco. Usually there would be some tension, but tonight, it felt easy to be with him. The conversation wasn't half bad either. Although, she did have to admit that it was quite strange. Draco was the one to start the conversation back up.

"Okay, so Ron doesn't know how to handle his new found wealth. What does that have to do with anything? You're losing me here." He twirled some pasta onto his fork and popped it into his mouth all the while quirking that eyebrow at her.

"Basically, no; he's a huge arse and no one can stand to be around him. This isn't the first time he's threatened taking custody of the children either. That's why I usually just let Rose and Hugo stay with him when I know I'll be working long stretches at the hospital. I've never wanted to rock the boat. Now though, now, I realize how much it would hurt to never be able to see my kids again. I don't think I could go on…"

"It'll work out Hermione, and I know you keep hearing that, but I mean it. He won't really take them."

Hermione sighed and pushed her half eaten plate away from her opting for the wine instead. "I don't know Draco. He seemed one hundred percent serious this time. I've never seen him that angry, although, I've never acted that way before. I shouldn't have said that about Padma. She was always so nice."

"Ron told her your secret."

"He was going to tell everyone anyway, and if he told Padma, what other girlfriends of his know?" The thought made her sick to her stomach and she set down her glass a bit forcefully so that the wine sloshed over the side. Ron was like this toxic drug that kept bringing her down. Why hadn't she seen it before? He brought out the worst in her, and today she'd lashed out. She didn't even recognize herself anymore. All she did was work, drink, and sleep. Tucking her head down, a single tear fell from her eye before she slammed her eyes closed to stop it from becoming a full blown cry fest.

Draco's voice sounded strained when he spoke, causing her to lift her head to look back at him, "Hermione, I'm going to say it again: I can leave if you think that it would be best for me to be out of the picture. I do not want to be responsible for Rose and Hugo not being able to see their mother. I couldn't live with that."

Hermione squeezed her hands into a ball in her lap before whispering, "Do you want to leave, Draco?"

"Should I?"

"No."

"Then I will stay until you wish me to leave."

Hermione swallowed the thickness that had developed in her throat. She felt like crying, though she knew not why. All she wanted was to curl up in her bed and…cry? Why? This was ridiculous. She pushed her chair away from the table and stood, grabbing her sweater and purse. "I'm going to go outside. I need some air." Turning away before he could respond, she briskly made her way outside, inhaling the cool, evening air deep into her lungs. She closed her eyes and leaned against the side of the building, listening to the vehicles rushing past. The wind blew through her hair and she slowly opened her eyes, wondering how long she'd been standing there, only to discover Draco was standing by the curb with his back to her.

He looked over his shoulder at her, concern clouding his silver eyes. "Are you ready to go home?"

"We need to pay."

"Taken care of."

She stepped forward. "What? No, Draco, let me get it."

His body came around to face her completely. "Hermione, I asked you to dinner; it's my treat. Now let's go. You look like you could use a good night's sleep."

"That would be nice," she said as she slid her sweater on. "Lead the way."

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A few hours later found Draco and Hermione laying on her bed, an empty bottle of Firewhisky sitting on the nightstand. The lamp was off, so the only light within the room was that which spilled in from the hallway. For once, Draco felt as drunk as Hermione probably was. He was listening to her ramble about her duties at work while he stared at the ceiling above. Ever since he'd jumped in front of her at the station he couldn't quite shake this strange feeling. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but whatever it was, made him feel guilty. Guilty for being around the woman, and he knew this was completely irrational.

"Draco are you even listening to me?" He heard her say this as if from far away, and it wasn't until he felt her toe nudge the side of his leg that he turned his face to look at her. Her hair was a frizzy mess falling across her face in waves. The hallway light glinted off of her eyes, making them shine, and Draco felt his heart skip a beat. What the hell was this? He still loved Astoria for Merlin's sake.

"Yes, I heard you."

"Good. Then you heard that I'll be going back to work Monday morning and you'll have to find ways to entertain yourself while I'm not home."

Draco had to clear his throat before speaking, "I'll manage."

She smiled and plopped back onto her back, the bed shifting slightly from her movements, causing their hips to touch. Her head was near his feet and his head was near her feet. Draco had his arms resting behind his head while Hermione used hers as she talked and talked and talked. Sometimes when she got drunk, she would be very chatty, while other times she would cry. Tonight was a talkative night which surprised him considering the day they had.

"How do you feel you've been doing here? Is it working for you? I can change the treatment if you need me to."

Draco decided to be honest with her. She would know if he was lying anyway; she always knew. "I feel better every day that I am here with you." Wait that came out wrong. With her? Is that what he meant to say? "Just don't give up on me, okay, Granger? I want to get better."

He lifted his head to see her reaction, hoping that she'd ignored the 'with you' comment. She was giving him a look that made him feel as if she could see right into his soul, and that made him feel even more uncomfortable and guilty than before.

"I won't give up on you, Draco. I never give up." She reached a hand over and grabbed his to squeeze gently, but before he could squeeze back or register the bolt of electricity that seemed to ignite within his chest, her hand was back to laying on her chest. It wasn't even a year from the death of his wife, and he was feeling sparks for another woman. Not just any woman at that; Hermione Granger. The know-it-all he'd tortured and loathed in school. This was just great. Maybe he should leave after all, but then again, she didn't want him to.

And he didn't want to leave either.

She was just supposed to be his Healer, his friend, his companion throughout this journey of healing. What was going on? Should he mention to Hermione that he might be starting to look at her as something more than a friend? Could this even be considered that? Was a simple little pull of the heart really full cause for panic? Was he dishonoring the memory of Astoria by caring for another woman? Too many questions to answer and no answers to be had; what was he going to do?

Leaning back up he found that sometime during his mental tirade of himself that Hermione had slipped off to sleep. She was slightly curled into her side with one hand under cheek while the other one, the one that had held his hand, was bunched up into her chest. Her chest was rising and falling softly, the air coming through her nose moving the few piece of hair that fells across her face. This was the first time Draco actually had the chance to watch her sleep peacefully. It was so different than dealing with the puking and sobbing Hermione Granger, that he was momentarily taken aback. Feeling relaxed himself, he let his eyes fall closed with his emotions raging inside his chest, only to be woken a few minutes later by a soft sort of crying.

Draco's eyes snapped open and right to Hermione's face. She was still asleep, but tears were falling from her closed eyes and her breathing was ragged. Not knowing what to do, Draco scooted up so he could sit against the headboard, before gently pulling her into his arms. He cradled her head in his lap, soothingly rubbing his hand across her back until her breathing calmed and the tears slowed. If she woke, Draco didn't know what he'd do. He was fairly certain that she'd slipped from her nightmare into a peaceful sleep.

Hermione felt comfortable in his arms; soft and warm, and almost as if she belonged there. Draco smoothed her hair from her face and leaned down, taking in the feel of her skin beneath his fingers. Her cheeks were still slightly damp, but the skin was smooth. Before he knew what he was doing, Draco leaned down and trailed his lips against her cheek. His lips felt so cold against her skin, but she didn't stir from her slumber. Taking the pull in his chest as a good sign, he let his lips slide a bit slower until they were at the corner of her mouth. Still Hermione did not move.

With a sharp intake of breath, and a push of courage that he didn't know he had; Draco closed his eyes and lifted his lips, before placing them fully onto Hermione's. It was as if the world slowed down and time disappeared. The pull in his chest became so great that Draco was forced to move his head back, staring into her face, praying to Merlin that she didn't wake. He was being pulled in two directions; one way to kiss her again, and the other, fearing that Astoria would never forgive him.

Astoria was dead.

The thought slammed into Draco's mind so hard that his head flopped back with a dull thud against the headboard. He would stay here tonight with Hermione, but never again could he kiss her. The pain in his chest was every indication of that. He loved Astoria. Hermione was his Healer. It had to stay that way. His heart simply couldn't handle anything else right now.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise to update soon. I have the next chapter outlined!


	8. Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I'm sick and tired of being afraid.  
> If I cry anymore then my tears will wash me away.  
> But when I hear you call my name,  
> I whisper the word that I never thought I'd ever say.”—Hurts

As promised, Hermione returned to work the Monday after the incident at King’s Cross. Everything seemed to resume a normal schedule and it had been a few weeks since she had heard from Ron. She had been surprised that her lawyer had not contacted her about what had happened. However, she was not going to poke the sleeping dragon. Letting him be, she felt, was the best way to go. Besides, she was back at work full time in the ER, and Ernie was even having her work on the Psych floor now and then too. He kept telling her it was good practice for working with Draco. 

And speaking of Draco, Ernie was constantly hounding her on his progress. She assured him that he was doing better, and he was, but Ernie kept wanting to see for himself. Draco refused to visit the hospital just yet—he was afraid it would send him into one of his fits. Hermione couldn’t really blame him, so she was forced to tell Ernie that Draco did not wish to see him. Ernie said he would come to her house, but Hermione refused this as well. She knew he had feelings for her, and basically, she was far from interested. She had too much going on right now to try and have a relationship with anyone.

She was trying to get sober. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done. Draco asked her why she didn’t just go and get professional help, but she was afraid that the news would get out that she had a problem. She was embarrassed. Hermione Granger, War Hero, The Brightest Witch of her Age—all these things would crumble if the world new of her alcoholism. No, it was better to try and deal with this on her own. She was doing what she always did; reading. She had purchased a number of self-help books from a Muggle shop (so no one she knew would see her), and doing as much research on Alcoholism as possible. For the most part it was working, but there were days where work would just be too much and to the bottle she would go. 

Today was quickly turning into one of those days. The ER had been busy and Ernie was due to “check up on Draco” any moment. Hermione was trying to finish her paperwork for the day as quickly as possible and get the heck out of there before he made an appearance. No such luck though—there was a knock at the door and Ernie’s head popped in.  
“Hey, Hermione! You have a minute?” He was completely inside her office now and she quickly checked to make sure she had put away the book she had been reading during her lunch. She had.

“Just a minute, really. I am exhausted. I’m at the end of a two day stretch and I have another starting tomorrow night.” She placed her finished paperwork into the “Out” bin on her desk and made to stand up. Ernie had a seat across from her so she was forced to sit back down. 

“I just wanted to see how Malfoy was doing this week. You said he had another bad night when we last talked about it, and I wanted to see if he was doing any better since then.” Ernie crossed his legs and settled his hand on his knee. Hermione felt he looked way too comfortable for only wanting to be there for a minute.

She blinked slowly thinking about how best to answer. Draco had indeed had another bad night—not as bad as the last though. She had found him standing on the balcony in the pouring rain. She had just finished showering and was going to bed when she decided to check on him before bed. Hermione had been able to coax him back into the flat and into a hot shower (clothes on mind you), but he refused to talk to her. He kept repeating, “I’m so sorry, Astoria. So sorry.” Hermione asked him what he meant but he would only shake his head. After warming him up with the shower, he seemed more responsive and was able to dress himself and go to bed. Hermione had been unable to sleep after that, so she grabbed her newest book and sat by his bedside reading all night. Luckily, Draco slept the rest of the night without any problems, but the incident still stuck in her mind. She still wanted to know what he was sorry about and why it had upset him so much. 

Finally, Hermione shrugged and told Ernie, “He seems better. No incidents. Actually, he’s been sleeping more—getting five or six hours versus the three or four he was getting before. I’m not sure what brought about the change, but we have a sit down coming up in a day or so where I intend to find out.” She grabbed her purse out of the drawer in her desk and stood up this time. “Now, I have a date with a shower and my bed I don’t want to miss.”

Ernie stood up too but did not move towards the door. “Actually, I wanted to ask you something else. Speaking of dates, I was wondering if maybe you’d like to grab a drink at the Leaky Cauldron sometime. Maybe we could go next Friday?”

This is what Hermione had been trying to avoid for some time now. She knew that Ernie was itching to get her to go out with him, but she had no intention of that. She liked keeping her work and social life separate; especially with everything going on in her life. She really didn’t need a relationship right now. She didn’t even really need a social life to be honest. Unless she said yes, there was no way to make Ernie happy. It was better just to bite the bullet and get it over with.

“Oh, Ernie, thank you for the offer. Unfortunately, I don’t date coworkers. It makes for bad situations. I value your friendship and I don’t want to ruin that.” She gave a sad sort of smile and hoped he would take the bait. Inside her head she was screaming to just get out of the situation.

Ernie shuffled his feet and ran a hand through his hair causing it to stand up in an unattractive way. “Well, it was worth a shot.” He smiled and playfully shook her shoulder. She tried not to look irritated with the fact that he touched her. “Just do me a favor and try and get Malfoy to meet with me soon, okay? All will be forgiven.” With that he gave her one more smile and left her office. With a sigh of relief, Hermione slouched against the wall. All will be forgiven. What the hell did that mean? This was why she refused to date coworkers…it never ended well. Gathering her thoughts, Hermione left her office and headed to the Apparation point to return home. 

…………………………………………

Draco was bored. Hermione was due home at any moment and he already had dinner ready. A lovely lasagna and crisp salad were set on the table with a spell to keep them ready to eat without getting cold or wilted. Draco had even done the dishes—by hand. He was now standing looking outside at the balcony. He hadn’t been back out there since Hermione had found him the other night. Not that he didn’t want to or that she had asked him to, but simply because he didn’t want to think about what he had on his mind that night. That was difficult though as he found himself reliving that night over and over again.   
_  
For some reason he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about kissing Hermione. He could hear her upstairs in the shower and all he wanted to do was go and join her. Of course this thought was preposterous. Draco Malfoy taking a shower with bloody Hermione Granger. Unheard of. Despite his best effort to get the wild haired woman from his mind, Draco found that he just couldn’t. It seemed an impossible task. So to try and get these ridiculous thoughts out of his head, Draco had walked straight out into the cold, pouring rain and stood staring at the street below._

_He eventually closed his eyes and began to remember Astoria. He tried to recall a time when he and Astoria had taken a shower together, and couldn’t. Had they ever even done that? He was certain they had. If so, had it been passionate or was it just a simple shower? Why couldn’t he remember? And most importantly, why, as he was trying to imagine his late wife naked in the shower, could he only picture Hermione’s body under the spray of warm water? The rain was freezing, and it was starting to freeze him as well. A simple warming spell would do the trick, but he had no desire to warm up. He was a bloody scoundrel; imagining his Healer doing despicable things with him instead of his wife. Late wife. Astoria was dead. Dead. Gone forever._

_“I am so sorry, Astoria. So sorry.”_

_And then he felt warm hands on his shoulders guiding him away from the balcony edge. It was Hermione. She was saying something while trying to get him inside the door, but all he could do was keep repeating the same words over and over and over again. “I am so sorry, Astoria. So sorry.” Then, there was warmth all around him, but he was still wet. Hot water was cascading around him and Hermione was there. In the shower._

_“I am so sorry, Astoria. So sorry.”_

_He couldn’t say anything else no matter how hard he tried. After the water stopped falling, Hermione left him alone in the bathroom with a warm towel and a set of dry pajamas. He went through the motions of stripping off his soaked clothing, drying, and redressing without really paying attention._

_“I am so sorry, Astoria. So sorry.”_

_He went to bed, but didn’t fall asleep until Hermione had settled herself next to his bed with a book. Finally, he closed his eyes and let sleep take him; one last time uttering, “I am so sorry, Astoria. So sorry,” before falling asleep._

He was better since then. He didn’t know what had changed. All he knew was that he could sleep a bit better, and he wasn’t as sad as he had been. He was still grieving, that hadn’t changed, but he did feel a bit lighter when waking up each morning. It was easier to deal with everyday life. It was easier to imagine that he would never see his wife—late wife—again. There was still a long road to go (stupid Muggle saying), but he felt more prepared. Hermione really was helping him. If only he could stop having feelings for her, then he would be all set. 

Turning away from the balcony door, Draco made his way back to the kitchen where dinner was set up. They had not eaten in the dining room since Scorpius had been there, so they were back to eating in the kitchen. With it being just the two of them, meals would be quick affairs normally, but for some reason—most likely the boredom—Draco had felt the need to prepare a larger dinner for the two of them. Either way, Hermione had been at the hospital for two days, and she was most likely looking forward to relaxing when she got home. Just as he was about to sit down, Draco heard the front door open. Footsteps were heard from the hallway, and then Hermione appeared in the doorway looking tired but with a smile on her face.

“What smells so good?” She asked plopping down in her usual seat. Draco undid the sustaining spell and sat down as well. 

“Just a simple salad and lasagna,” he replied while scooping some onto her plate. “I thought you might need something good after working two days straight.”

She nodded. “After the days I had, I need more than just a good meal—but this is amazing. Thank you, Draco.” She smiled and began to eat, leaving Draco to quietly wonder what she meant by her comment. Probably alcohol, but it didn’t stop Draco from wishing she meant other things. Okay, seriously, Draco was not over these strange new feelings. He took a drink of water and tried to refocus his thoughts. Hermione had a lot going on and she didn’t need him talking about feelings he may or may not have for her. 

They exchanged idle chit chat while they ate, but overall it was a quiet dinner. Both were more interested in their thoughts. Afterwards, Hermione wanted to clear up, but Draco insisted she go and get a shower and relax. “Besides,” he said, “I have nothing else to do.” Hermione shook her head with a smile.

“You are too good to me, Draco.” She walked out of the room but quickly stuck her head back in, “You could go back to work, you know?” Then, she was gone. Back to work? That was certainly something to think about. He had been sending an owl to his employees and clients to check in occasionally, but he had never really thought about going back. The grief had been so intense at first that he had no desire to work at the company he and his wife had rebuilt after the War. His father had let the family fortune and company dwindle during the second rise of the Dark Lord. Astoria had been so keen on helping Draco rebuild the empire. He had loved that about her. She was always so willing to work and lend a helping hand. She was completely different from any other Pureblood Slytherin he knew. That would also be her downfall as it were. 

Draco had much to think about, so he cleaned up dinner with his wand rather than by hand. Then, he retired to his room and sat on the bed to do his thinking. Maybe he would go into the office tomorrow. With him out of the flat, Hermione would get some time to herself for once. He owed her that much. With a chuckle, Draco laid back and allowed his thoughts to drift him to sleep. 

……………………………………

Hermione had not been surprised to find Draco asleep after she had gotten out of the shower the night before. What had surprised her was that he went into work today. She had been sitting reading The Daily Profit and having her morning tea when Draco had walked into the living room, told her he was going to work, and then left without another word. She had smiled for a good hour at the progress he had made—progress that she had helped him achieve. Originally, she had planned a sit down session for later in the day, but now that would have to wait until after her next two day shift. Ernie would just have to deal with that. She smirked at the thought.

“Oh, Merlin. He’s rubbing off on me,” Hermione mumbled as she got up to take her cup into the kitchen. Smirking was not a normal occurrence for her. It didn’t matter though. Smirking was not a bad habit really. She could handle a bit of smirking. After cleaning the morning dishes, Hermione decided she might as well clean the rest of the house too. The morning merged into the early afternoon, and by mid-afternoon Hermione was done with the major cleaning. All that was left was to organize her office/Draco’s room. She felt a bit weird going into the room without its current resident there, but it had been ages since she had reorganized her bookshelves. 

That is exactly what she was doing when there was a rustle behind her. She whirled around, wand at the ready, only to find Ron standing in the doorway. All the air rushed out of her lungs at the angry look on his face. It was good thing she had her wand ready, or maybe that was a bad thing.

“Cleaning your prisoner’s room, I see.” Ron crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway. Hermione scowled and asked, “What are you doing here, Ronald? Uninvited no less.” She took a few steps back to ensure there was enough space between the two of them.

“I was just coming to hand deliver the new custody papers I had my lawyer draw up.” He handed her a sealed envelope. “I apologize that it took so long. My lawyer wanted to make sure the papers were very specific in my regards. There should be no loopholes to be found you’ll see.”

Hermione didn’t know what to say, so she made to open the envelope. However, Ron stopped her. “Oh don’t bother. I’m leaving.” And sure enough, he turned and walked back down the hall. Hermione stood there until she heard the whoosh of the Floo and then her knees gave out. Luckily, Draco’s bed was right behind her or she would have hit the floor pretty hard. She sat there for a good while before getting the nerve to actually open the envelope. The worst part about the whole thing: Ron was right. The papers were indeed very well done. They stated so many personal details about her life that Hermione felt herself blushing at times. If she didn’t go along with his wishes this time, there was bound to be a large trial—a large trial that the Profit and every other Wizarding publisher would want to over.

Basically, Hermione was fucked. 

It was a good thing that she had a fresh bottle of Firewhiskey hidden under her bed. 

………………………………………………

Draco’s day at the office had gone exceptionally well. He was surprised, really, at how welcoming everyone had been. He had even managed to get most of the papers in the “In” box on his desk into the “Out” box. It was fairly late in the evening when he had finally left the office and headed towards the exit. Normally he would just Floo home or Apparate, but tonight he decided to walk. It was only a few miles to the Leaky Cauldron, and the evening was fairly mild for an evening in late October. Finally, arriving back at the flat, Draco was surprised to find how dark it was. He could have sworn Hermione would be home. He had hoped they could order some Thai food for dinner before she headed back to the hospital for her shift. 

He unlocked the door and stepped inside quickly, shutting the door behind him quietly in case Hermione already was asleep. Feeling for his wand in his sleeve, Draco allowed his senses to do the work in the darkness. It had been a long time since he had felt this uneasy…

All appeared quiet on the main floor. He crept past the dining room and kitchen until he was at his bedroom door. “Lumos,” he whispered to light his wand. Peering inside, he was surprised to find the room a complete disaster. Books were scattered all over the floor. A lamp was shattered on the floor. And there was a crumpled up envelope right by his foot. He bent over and picked the paper up, but before he could see what the front said, he noticed something peculiar. Out of everything that was destroyed in the room, there was only one thing was left undisturbed: his bed. 

Draco’s brow crinkled with confusion but he turned his attention back to the crumpled paper in his hand. Smoothing it out, he read the front: Hermione J. Granger. That was all it said. He could tell that it had been crumpled up in a fit of anger. The mess of his room indicated that as well. Stuffing the envelope into his pocket, he turned and headed up the stairs to the second level of the flat. 

It was eerily quiet and dark as he reached the landing. Hugo and Rose’s bedroom doors were shut as they always were. The bathroom door was ajar but Hermione was not inside. Draco’s heart seemed incredibly loud as he neared her bedroom door. He suspected what he might find inside, but he was not ready for what was awaiting him.   
Swallowing, Draco gently pushed open the door. The room was trashed like his had been, but this was worse. The curtains were ripped to shreds. Photo frames torn from the wall. Glass was shattered on the floor. What scared Draco the most was the smell. The room smelled of blood and vomit. Using the light from the tip of his wand, Draco entered the room and looked around.

All the air seemed to rush from his lungs as he spotted Hermione. 

She was laying on the floor as if she had fallen off the bed. Her hands were covered in dried blood and her feet were too. She had fallen into a puddle of her own vomit. Draco ran to her side dropping his wand next to himself as he fell to his knees.

“Hermione!”

His knees landed in crushed glass, but he didn’t care.

“Oh, Merlin, Hermione you have to wake up.” He gathered her in his arms and shook her as hard as he could. He did this three times before she cracked her eyelids.

“Draco.”

It was barely a whisper but it was something. He hugged her body close trying to get her warm. She felt so cold in his arms.

“Draco.” She said again. Her hand came up to his face and ran across his cheek. She brought it to her face. It was only then that he noticed he was crying. Her hand was covered in his tears. His tears were making the dried blood on her hand begin to run, but he could barely see it because now he was sobbing. 

“Hermione, what have you done?” He said using his shoulder to wipe his eyes, he tried to control his ragged breathing. She needed him to calm the fuck down. 

She struggled to keep her head upright so Draco put his hand behind it to help keep it steady…just like he did when Scorpius was a baby. 

“Drank two bottles of firewhiskey.” She slurred as her eyes went shut again.

“But you’ve done that before.” It wasn’t pretty, but it was the truth. “Come on, you have to stay awake. You can’t fall asleep right now. You need help.”

She shook her head. “Pills.”

Draco’s pure blood ran cold.

“What? What did you just say?” He asked getting his face as close to hers as possible so that he could hear her answer.

Hermione’s eyes opened a crack and her brown eyes glistened with tears of her own. “I took pills. Two bottles.” She blinked, slowly, but opened her eyes again. “I can’t do it anymore. He won. He’s going to take them away. Rose. Hugo. My babies.”

Draco shook his head. “No. No, you are not doing this.” Hermione’s eyes closed then, and her head fell back against his hand. Draco screamed, “HERMIONE!”

“SHIT” He cradled her body in his arms and stood up. She was like a rag doll in his arms. He didn’t have much time. She might have puked up the pills, but she had drank two entire bottles of firewhiskey on top of them. She needed to get to the ER and fast. 

Draco ran down the stairs and out the door of the flat into the street. It had started to rain, but that didn’t stop him. He ran as fast as he could while carrying Hermione. It wasn’t until he reached the main road that he realized he’d left his wand behind. It didn’t matter. He knew they didn’t live far from a Muggle hospital so he ran there. He only saw a few Muggles as he went. All the while he kept mumbling to Hermione.  
 _  
“Stay with me.”_

_“You’re going to be okay.”_

_“I’m getting you help.”_

_“Please, Rose and Hugo need their mother.”  
_  
Hermione remained lifeless in his arms. The woman behind the desk screamed when he barged into the ER and collapsed on the floor. He didn’t blame her really. They were both soaking wet and the blood and vomit that had been on Hermione has managed to find its way onto him. 

“Sir, can I help you?” She asked coming round to stand in front of him.

He looked up into her eyes. His chest was heaving and his heart was aching. Draco said, “Please, I think she’s dying. Save her.”

What happened next was a blur. The nurses and doctors went into action putting Hermione on a gurney and getting ready to take her back to wherever it was the Muggles would do what they needed to do to save her.

He stood slowly and looked down into the face he had grown to know so well over the past few months. Just as the Doctor was telling him he had to get out of the way, Hermione opened her eyes. 

“Draco.” She whispered.

He leaned towards her. He didn’t know what he wanted to hear her say, but he knew he was hooked. There was no going back. This was it. 

“Help.”

Her eyes closed and the doctors wheeled her away. All Draco could do was stare after where they had gone. He didn’t even notice when the nurse put a warm blanket around his shoulders. 

He had thought he felt empty after Astoria died.  
 __  
That was nothing compared to this moment.


	9. Heavy in your Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
>  “And is it worth the wait;  
> All this killing time?  
> Are you strong enough to stand,  
> Protecting both your heart and mine?”  
> —Florence and the Machine  
> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Thirsty.

That was all she could think about.  Her head felt so heavy, but she could feel a soft pillow behind it.  She needed to open her eyes and figure out where she was and how she could get something to drink.  Before she could do that, though, she needed to assess herself.

Thirsty. Throat was raw—either from thirst or when she puked.  Oh.  She puked a lot.  All those pills.  That explained her stomach pain as well.  She suspected her stomach had been pumped.  Probably to get any of the pills that remained, as well as the fire whiskey that she had tried to drink in order to keep the pills going down her throat. 

She knew she wasn’t at home in her own bed.  She knew this for the simple fact that she could hear the “beep beep” of medical machines that were keeping track of her vitals.  What hospital she was at remained to be seen.  She wasn’t ready to be awake just yet.

On top of the raw throat and stomach pain, she could feel where the glass from broken picture frames and whiskey bottles had cut into her skin.  Her hands were wrapped in gauze as were her feet and knees.  It helped that she was a Healer.  She knew exactly how to diagnose herself.

With a sigh of irritation, Hermione finally opened her eyes and blinked in the semi darkness of the hospital room.  Glancing around, she knew immediately she wasn’t in St. Mungo’s.  There was a Muggle television on the wall and the scenery out the window was of Muggle London.  The light out of the window indicated early morning.  It had to be around five or six.  It was raining.

She remembered rain.  Someone running through the rain and whispering to her.  She shook her head to try and clear it a bit, but that only made it ache.  Add possible concussion to the list.  Trying to sit up was difficult with her wrapped hands, but she managed.  Glancing around she noted that she was alone in the room; the other bed was unoccupied.  Hermione tried to swallow again, but her mouth was much too dry,

She was just about to hit the buzzer for a nurse to come and help her, when the door opened and a body slid inside.  She sat up straight and squinted in the semi darkness to see who it was.

Draco stood in the doorway, light from the hallway spilling around him.  He looked exhausted and there were dark circles under his eyes.  His clothes were wrinkled…and…bloody?  Oh.

“Dra—” She tried to speak but her raw throat prevented her from finishing his name.

Draco walked into the room and handed her a cup of ice chips.  He then promptly sat in the chair next to her bed and folded his arms across his chest.  Raising his eyebrows, Draco gestured towards the cup in her hand. “Eat those.”

She tore her gaze away from the blond and tipped some of the ice into her mouth.  It was heaven.  The cool ice melted in her mouth and slid down her throat slowly.  The rawness began to dissipate.  She wanted to say something to him.  Anything.  She glanced back up at him again but the look on his face indicated that he would wait for her to finish. 

What had happened?  Why was he covered in blood?  Was it her blood?  His?  Where were they?  How long had she been asleep?  Was he mad?

_Did he hate her?_

The last question was surprisingly the one she wanted answered the most.  She finished her ice chips and placed the cup on the table to her right, getting tangled in her IV at the same time.  She untangled herself and took a deep breath fully intending to start asking her questions.  She never got the chance.

“I can’t even for one minute begin to understand what the _hell_ you were thinking, Granger.”

Granger. He _was_ mad.

She dropped her gaze from his smoldering silver eyes to her hands in her lap.  She was ashamed.  Here she was trying her best to save Draco from killing himself over the death of Astoria, and she goes and does something like this.  She would be lucky to ever be taken seriously in the medical field again.  She was probably fired. 

“Hermione, are you even listening to me?” Draco asked leaning forward and touching her wrist.  She looked back up at him and shook her head, tears springing to her eyes.  He had continued talking while she berated herself. 

“Sorry.  I got lost in my thoughts.”

“Damn it, Granger.  You have to take this seriously.”

Draco ran a hand across his face and Hermione found she couldn’t find the words she needed to express how bad she felt.  “What happened?”

A bark of laughter that didn’t sound the least bit amused erupted from him.  “You’re kidding me right?  You know what you tried to do.”

She shook her head, stopping immediately because it made her head hurt. “No, let me rephrase.  How did we get here?  Where is here?”

“Muggle hospital.  I have no idea what it’s called.”

She nodded.  “How long was I asleep?”

Draco sighed and fell back into his chair.  He stared at her for a minute before speaking again.  “If you had gone to work instead of drinking yourself into oblivion, you would have been home a day ago.”

Her eyes widened at the realization of what he just said.  “Three days!  I have been here for three days!” Hermione began to panic.  She was most definitely in trouble now.  Chief Healer Devon would ask for her resignation, or worse, he would just fire her for not showing up. 

Draco stood from the chair and moved to sit on the edge of her bed.  “Please stop panicking, Hermione.  Your machines are going insane.”

 _Hermione_. That was better.

He was right, though.  The minute he had told her how long she’d been here, her vitals had gone off the handle.  She reached for his hand, and he allowed her to hold it.  Immediately she felt better.  Laying back against the pillow, Hermione closed her eyes and tried to breathe normally.  Just having Draco this close to her was a relief.  His presence calmed her.  She opened he eyes and looked into his worried ones.

“I’m sorry.”

He squeezed her hand in response.  She gave him a small smile.  She really was sorry.  At the time it seemed like the right thing to do.  Now it all seemed like a crazy ass dream.  She had a lot of work to do now; on him and herself.  That was if he even wanted her help anymore.  It felt like she was relying more on Draco than he was relying on her these days.  Maybe it was time for him to move on.

Hermione wanted to talk with him more—she still had questions to ask—but just then a doctor came into the room.

“Mrs. Malfoy?  Hello, I’m Dr. Watson.  There are some things we need to discuss.”  He opened her file and began sorting through the documents inside.

Hermione opened her mouth to correct the man, but Draco stood and cleared his throat.  “I’ll let you talk to my wife alone.”  To her he said, “I’ll be out in the waiting room.  I called Harry and Ginny.  They should be here soon.” He squeezed her hand as if to say, “Go with it.” 

Completely baffled, Hermione could only nod at Draco as he released her hand and strode from the room, shutting the door behind him.  Shaking her head a bit to clear it, she turned her attention to her doctor. 

“How much trouble am I in, doctor?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Draco was only sitting in the nearly empty waiting room for about ten minutes, when he saw Ginny and Harry turn the corner and enter the area.  He stood and attempted to smooth his clothes as he strode towards the pair.  Ginny looked a worried mess while Harry just looked confused.

“Malfoy.  What happened?” He asked as Draco stopped in front of them.

Draco shook his head.  “First things first; did you bring me a change of clothes?”

Ginny rolled he eyes and handed him a bag.  “Here.  Now answer the question.”

Tucking the bag of clothes under his arm, he gestured towards the seating area.  The couple followed him and they all sat down.  He quickly filled them in on what had happened.  Ginny started to cry at one point and Harry even looked close to tears himself.  When he had finished, Harry stood up angrily.

“You didn’t bother to get in contact with us for THREE days?”  He began to pace.  “My best friend was lying in a hospital bed with the doctors uncertain if she would even wake up, and you didn’t bother to contact me?” The raven haired man stopped in front of his old nemesis waiting for an answer.

Draco sighed.  He knew this was going to go over well.  “I didn’t know how to get in touch with you!”  He grabbed the bag of clothes and stood up to face Harry.  “I left behind my wand and Hermione didn’t have her little phone on her.  Once I knew she was going to be alright, I asked the nurse to help me find your number.  I didn’t want to worry anyone unless it was absolutely necessary.”  He stepped around the shocked man, and began to walk away.  Over his shoulder he added, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need a shower and a change of clothes.  Thanks, Weasley, for getting these for me.”

Stunned, Ginny simply said, “You’re welcome.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Fifteen minutes later, Draco returned to Hermione’s room to find Harry and Ginny inside.  He was just about to turn around and leave, when Harry gestured him inside.  He entered wearily.  It was always uncomfortable when he was around her friends.  He never really knew how to act.  He didn’t really dislike any of them anymore, well, except Ron, but he certainly wasn’t “friends” with any of them either. 

Draco went to take a seat in the corner, but Hermione reached for him.  He couldn’t very well deny her in front of the Potter’s, so he settled himself on the side of her bed.  Ginny was telling her about the letter she had sent Rose and Hugo.

“I just wanted them to know you were alright.  I didn’t really go into the details.”  She fidgeted with her hands a bit before continuing.  “They know you’re in the hospital, but that you’ll be coming home within the next day or two.”

Hermione sighed and Draco looked down into her face.  She looked miserable.  She was putting on a brave face after what she had done.  She was much more put together than he ever was after a suicidal episode.  He glanced back up and noticed Harry looking at him questioningly.  Draco stood back up.

“Harry, let’s give the ladies time to talk.  I need a coffee or tea, and you have money.”

Harry nodded and moved for the door.  Draco let his hand rest on Hermione’s shoulder for a second before exiting the room.  The two men walked towards the vending machines to keep up the pretense of getting beverages.  Once there, Harry handed Draco some money.  Instead of putting it in the coffee machine, he turned and looked at Harry.

  
“I’m falling in love with her.”

“Shit.” Harry ran a hand through his already messy hair.  “This is obviously not the greatest time in the world, Malfoy.”

He slammed his fist into the machine causing a few passerby to look at him strangely, but Draco didn’t care.  “Don’t you think I already know that?  She’s my therapist Healer, damn it.  It just sort of happened!”

Harry shook his head and sighed.  “What does she think about this?  Have you told her?”

“No.  She has no idea.”  Draco leaned against the wall and decided to tell the whole truth.  “I kissed her while she was sleeping once.”  He slid down the wall and sat in a heap on the floor.  Letting out a low whistle, Harry joined him, letting his head thud lightly against the wall.

“You kissed Hermione.”

“Yes.”

“She doesn’t know?”

“She was drinking and fell asleep.”

“Does she drink a lot?  You know, more than she tells all of us?” Harry tilted his head to look at Draco who nodded.

“Almost every night.  She’s been a lot better lately, but it’s not good.  She has a serious problem.  She needs help.” Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  He felt like crying.  “I take care of her.”

“Shit.  I’ve never really talked to her about the situation.  Ron didn’t really go into details when he divorced her.  I was a bit surprised when she didn’t fight him over it.”

“Ron is fighting for full custody.  Did you know that?” Draco opened his eyes and reached into his pocket.  He withdrew a crumpled, half torn piece of parchment.  “I found this in Hermione’s items after I brought her here.  I think it’s what set her off.” He handed the paper to Harry and waited in silence as it was read.

“Son of a bitch.” Harry read the custody papers a second and third time before turning to Draco.  “She’s going to lose the kids.  Especially if this incident gets out.  We have to do something.” Harry stood up and gestured that Draco should do the same.  Draco stood and followed Harry back towards Hermione’s room.  He stopped short nearly knocking over a nurse as Harry suddenly turned towards him.

“I’m not sure right now is the best time to tell Hermione that you love her.”

Draco swallowed.  “I’m fully aware of that.  That’s why as soon as she is safely home, I am packing and moving back to the Manor.”  He threw his hands up into the air.  “I’ll find a way to deal with my demons on my own so that maybe Hermione can get rid of hers.”

Harry did something Draco wasn’t expecting then—he stepped forward and enveloped him in a hug.  Reluctantly, Draco returned the hug.  It actually felt nice to have human contact for once.  Harry released him and stepped back, tears in his eyes.  “I know you’ve been to hell and back a number of times, Malfoy, but you are a good man.”  With a smile and a shake of his head he continued, “If the timing was better, I’d say you and Hermione would be perfect for each other.”

“Thanks, Potter.”

Harry reached out his hand and stared at Draco with his eyebrows raised.  With a smirk, Draco clasped his hand with Harry’s and they shook on a new friendship.  Draco just hoped that Hermione would be okay.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The next day, Hermione was set to be released sometime after lunch.  She was more than ready to get out of this place.  Not that she was very hungry, but the food was horrible.  She spent enough time in a hospital as it was.  Ginny had brought her fresh clothes the day before so she had been able to shower and get cleaned up this morning.  Now, she was just sitting on the bed staring out the window watching the rain.  The longer she was here, the more of a chance that Ron would find her.  If she was lucky she might be able to keep this under wraps. 

Unfortunately, that might be more difficult than originally thought.  This was all thanks to Ernie showing up early this morning.  She had just gotten out of the shower and settled back onto the bed when he had come barging in the room.  He had said how he’d gotten Draco’s letter about her being ill, but had wanted to come and check to make sure she was alright.  She didn’t believe that for a second.  He had wanted to see exactly what was wrong.  She suspected that he had taken a look at her chart while she was showering.

She pretended that she had just been overworked, but she could tell he knew more just by the snide little smile on his fat face.  Hopefully he wouldn’t stress the issue though.  She had told him she’d be back to work next week and everything would be fine.  She just needed to get home and have a few days to relax.  He’d told her not to worry too much about it.  That hadn’t sounded good, but she kept the smile on her face.  As he was leaving he’d said he’d see her real soon…which also didn’t sound good.

Honestly, at this point all she could think about was that damn letter from Ron’s lawyer.  She knew Draco was keeping hold of it.  Actually, he might have given it to Harry.  She had no idea.  Last night he and Harry had returned from “getting drinks” with a plan in mind.  She wasn’t happy about it either.  It wasn’t going to work.  She was doomed really.  Those custody papers were…well she didn’t have a good chance at this point.  Harry insisted that if they could keep this hospital stay a secret, she might have a chance.

That was laughable.

He was supposed to go and talk to Ron today about the entire issue.  Ginny was going too.  They hoped that the pair of them might be able to talk some sense into the man.  Hermione doubted it.  That was the thing about Ron; when he got an idea in his mind, he went full force forward with it.  Hermione would lose custody of Rose and Hugo before Christmas at this point.  Sure, Rose would be free to see her once the Trace was taken off of her at the end of the year, but it would be years before she could see Hugo again.

Swallowing the lump in her throat and wiping the tears from her eyes, Hermione turned her head to stare at Draco.  He was completely engulfed in some book he had purchased at the bookstore down the street.  She had wished he’d been here this morning when Ernie arrived, but he had gone out to buy a book about custody battles.  Now he was reading like he was going to go blind tomorrow.  She wished he would talk to her.  He still seemed to be mad at her and that hurt more than the ulcers in her mouth. 

She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again and opted for just laying on her side staring at this beautiful, loyal version of the cold and hateful Draco she used to know.  She was supposed to be the one being strong.  He was supposed to be leaning on her, but instead here she was, relying on him to carry her through this mess she’d gotten herself into.  The worst part, she had no idea whether or not he was strong enough to do this.

Was he strong enough to _love_ again?

Was he strong enough to love _her_?

Hermione sat straight up in bed at that thought, her heart pounding in her chest.  She squeezed the sheets between her fingers and gasped.

Draco had looked up from the book and hurried to her side, setting the book on the table.

“What is it?  Are you okay?  Are you in pain, Hermione?”

She shook her head.  “No.  No, I’m alright.  I just…thought of something.”

“Should I get Dr. Watson?” He asked as he sat down on the bed.

Hermione tried to relax, but couldn’t.  To distract him, she asked if he could get her some ice chips.  He agreed and left the room which suddenly felt like it was closing in around Hermione. 

Rubbing her face with both hands she curled into a ball and let her thoughts take over,

She loved him.

She, Hermione Granger, _loved_ Draco Malfoy.

Oh, this was not good.  And yet, it explained so much.  She had felt stirrings for a while, but had ignored them.  Now, she knew why she wanted him to stay with her at the flat: she needed him because she loved him.  How did she let this happen?  Did he know?  Did he feel the same?  She couldn’t do this.  She would weigh him down with all the drama that was going on her life.  He didn’t need this.  He didn’t need her!  Fuck, he was still mourning the loss of Astoria!  Good Godric she had just found him in the pouring down rain on the balcony a little over a week ago muttering about how sorry he was to her! 

Laying there in utter terror at her revelation, she was relieved when Draco returned without the ice chips, but with Dr. Watson who informed her she was all set to leave.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

When they arrived back in the flat, Hermione felt a bit of relief, but at the same time, she was now one hundred percent alone with Draco.  There was no one left to buffer between them.  She couldn’t avoid talking to him anymore. 

“I’m going to put your bag upstairs. Are you okay to make some tea?” Draco asked her, stopping in the doorway to the hall.

She nodded and headed into the kitchen and filled the kettle up in the sink before returning it to stove.  She sat on her usual stool at the island and waited for Draco to return from upstairs.  Hermione had to think and quick.  Should she mention her feelings to Draco or should she just ask him to leave without acknowledging it?  Either way, Draco needed to leave.  He couldn’t stay here anymore.  Not because she didn’t want him here, but because it was unethical for her to continue treating him feeling the way she did.

Before she could really make her decision, Draco retuned.  The kettle went off at the same time so he gestured for her to stay seated as he prepared their cups of tea.  Hermione watched silently as he did all of this.  Her throat felt dry and her stomach was in knots.  Draco went to set the tea cups on the counter but stopped at the last second.

“Come on, let’s go sit in the living room.  It’s more comfortable.”

He led the way and they both sat on the couch.  Draco placed the tea cups on the coffee table and turned so he was facing her.  She turned to face him as well, already forgetting about the tea.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Granger.”

Hermione blinked slowly, not quite knowing where to start.  “This is too much for you to deal with right now.”

“Yes.”

“I think that maybe it might be a good idea for you to leave…” She hated that she had to say these words, but it was the right thing to do.  She didn’t need to drag him down with her.  He had been doing so well.

“Why do you think that?” Draco leaned forward so he was brushing up against her side on the couch.  “I agree, but I’m not sure it’s for the same reason.”

Hermione was confused by his words.  She swallowed and twisted her hands in her lap.  “Draco…you have been so good to me.  You have been so strong, but I am the one that was supposed to be strong for you.  Instead, you were the one carrying me, literally, at times.”

“As true as that might be, I am not upset with you over all of this.” He took her hand in his and intertwined their fingers.  Hermione shivered at the touch and wet her dry lips.

“What are you feeling, exactly, Draco?”

“It’s not important.  I’m leaving in the morning.”

She was shocked and jerked backwards.  “What?  So soon?”

“I have cherished all of my time here with you, Hermione.  You have helped me in ways I didn’t think possible, but it’s time for me to go.  For you and…for me.”

Draco stood up and walked to the window and Hermione could only stare in shock at the back of his head.  She knew he had to go—she did—but she thought they still had time.  She didn’t want to do this now.  She needed time to process.

“ _I think I might love you_.”

It was whispered, but it was out there and she couldn’t take it back. 

Hermione watched as Draco’s shoulders caved and heard him sigh.  His hand came up to run through his hair.  He was shaking his head as he turned around.  She was standing now, though she couldn’t remember when she got up from the couch.  Possibly when she’d spoken. 

“Hermione, no, please…you can’t.”

She stood there, her hands facing up.  “I think I might.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Draco replied, “I’m leaving not because of what happened, or because you might…love…me, but because I already know that I am falling in love with you.”

Hermione felt warmth spread from her chest to the tips of her fingers and toes and then to her face.  Draco loved her.  This was quite unexpected.  She suspected he cared for her, but not like this.  The declaration was not unwanted.  This would make things easier if there were no other strings attached to their situation, but that was not the case.  They couldn’t really be together.

“You’re over thinking this aren’t you?”

“I might be.” She shrugged.

They stared at each other—brown eyes locked on silver.  Hermione wet her lips again and Draco took a step forward.  She jerked backwards suddenly scared of what might happen.

“What—What are you doing?”

“Hold still.” Draco whispered against her lips.

And then, he kissed her.

His lips felt cool against hers. She felt on fire as her hands fluttered up to his neck and slid into the soft blond hair at the nape of his neck.  She moaned as he pulled their bodies closer, and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth to run against hers.  She was lost in his touch.  His smell.  His _everything_.  Her body was on fire and it felt heavy in his arms.  She hadn’t been with a man in so long.  She had almost forgotten how magical just kissing could be.  Oh, but this was magical all right.  She could feel their magic coursing around them as the kiss deepened and she finally had to jerk her head away to catch her breath. 

Breathing heavily, she looked at him.  His hair was ruffled from her hands moving through it and his lips were a bright pink.  She wanted to kiss him again. 

So she did.

The second kiss was just as amazing as the first, and she felt Draco push her against the living room wall.  Hermione let her head fall back as Draco’s mouth found its way to her neck.  She reached for the buttons on his shirt at the same time he went to take off her shirt.  She stopped her movements so she could help him lift the shirt over her head.  His hands cupped her breasts and he gently flicked his thumbs over her hardening nipples.  Hermione groaned in response and grabbed his head to pull him down for another heated kiss. 

At this point, Hermione said, “Fuck it,” to his shirt and went for his jeans instead.  Just as she managed to undo the button and zipper the Floo made a “whoosh” sound causing the pair to turn their heads to look back across the room.

Harry stepped out of the fireplace and brushed the soot off his robes.  When he spotted the two panting against the wall he blushed bright red and exclaimed, “Damn it, you two!  This is not the time for that!” He threw a paper across the room to Malfoy, who managed to catch it.  “Ron found out about the suicide attempt.  He’s gone to the paper.”

All the blood drained from Hermione’s head as she looked at the paper in Draco’s hands.  The headline read:

_“Hermione Granger: War Hero, Brightest Witch of her Age turned Suicidal Alcoholic.”_

Suddenly the room was spinning.  Hermione tried to grab onto the wall, but failed.  Her body fell to the floor as the sobbing overtook her.  A minute later, she passed out. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


	10. This won't end quietly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   
>  “You told me we were fighters, fighters.  
> Lover, Lover.  
> We ended just as lovers.  
> We let the night get away to somewhere better than here.  
> We let the night get away.”  
> —We The Committee  
> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Two weeks. 

It had been two full weeks since the first article had been printed about her.  Since then Potter, his wife, and himself had been doing their very best to try and keep her from going under.  Potter had gone to the paper and asked them to write a retraction.  However, considering the author of the article was none other than Ron’s girlfriend, Padma, that hadn’t gone so well.  Draco stared at the back of Hermione’s frizzy head from the doorway to her bedroom watching as she sat perfectly still on her window seat.  She hadn’t said much since that night.  Neither of them had mentioned the kiss—Potter had.  He had instructed Draco to keep things simple for now.  Draco had said he wanted to leave immediately.  Potter told him to stay.  At least for a few more weeks so that the story he had managed to get Luna to print in her paper to take hold. 

Draco rubbed a hand over his face, ignoring the scruff that he had let grow in.  He was exhausted.  Hermione barely slept, which meant he barely slept.  She refused to eat too, which was an entirely different battle.  He should never have kissed her.  He should have dropped her off, got his things, and left.  Now he was stuck here allowing his feelings to get stronger.  He wasn’t even sure he was completely over Astoria yet.  Things had really gone to hell.  The worst part—he _wanted_ to be here.  In fact, he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else…even if he wanted to. 

He heard her sigh and watched as she turned her head to glance at him.

“You don’t have to watch me constantly, Draco.”

Swallowing he pushed away from the doorframe and made his way towards her.  “I know.”

She gave him a half smile and pushed her hair over her shoulder.  “Penny for your thoughts?”

“A galleon for yours?”

Hermione gave a small laugh in reply before turning back to the window.  It was raining.  “I’m sorry for how everything has happened.  I know it’s not what you were expecting when you came here.  I never meant for any of this to happen.”

He shrugged even though she couldn’t see it and took a few more steps until he was standing directly behind her.  This was the closest they had gotten in these past two weeks.  Draco would often stand in the doorway or learn against the wall and watch her quietly.  He sighed as she learned back into his chest, and he allowed himself to put his arms around her.  It felt nice to hold her, especially since he knew she needed the human contact.  To be honest, he did too. 

“I think it’s going to snow tonight.”

He smiled down at the top of her head.  She had been saying that for days now but it had just kept on raining.  Instead of answering he let go of her and moved to sit on the other side of the window.  He waited until she had slid around, slipped between his legs, and had rested against him once more before returning his arms.  He was going to leave in the morning.  Potter had told him it was time.  Draco’s smile turned into a frown as he stared at the rain sliding down the window.  He would have been gone weeks ago if he had known what would have happened.  He didn’t want to be held responsible for Hermione losing her children. 

An hour passed in silence as the two watched the rain.  Maybe they had fallen asleep like that.  He wasn’t sure, but Draco was stirred from his thoughts when he felt Hermione take a deep breath. 

“You’re leaving.”

It wasn’t a question.  He didn’t answer. 

Instead he ran a hand through her tangled hair.  She leaned into the touch so he continued that for a while.  It was better if he didn’t say it out loud.  He wasn’t sure he could leave if he did that.  Draco as still so uncertain about these feelings he felt for Hermione.  He knew he loved her…maybe even more than he ever had loved Astoria.  That was what bothered him the most.  Astoria had given him love when he hadn’t felt like he deserved it.  He had been a Death Eater—a monster—but she had taken his heart and then given him the best gift in the world, Scorpius.  Then, in an instant she was gone.  The person he had come to know as his other half was just ripped from his life.  Gone.  Forever. 

Never in a million years did he think that love would come his way again.  At first maybe it was just Hermione’s caring nature that he loved, but then he got to really know her.  The drinking, the secrets, her quirkiness.  Even her blasted friends were starting to grow on him.  If he had his way, Draco would stay with her forever, but unfortunately that was impossible right now. 

Fate was tricky like that.

“I start therapy this week.”  Hermione turned herself so she was looking up into his face.  “I have to go to my Alcoholics meeting on Wednesday and to talk to my therapist on Monday and Friday.  I was hoping you could come.”  She didn’t smile as she said this, probably because she knew he was going to say no, that he couldn’t go with her.

“Once you’ve successfully completed therapy for three weeks, then you’re allowed to keep your custody as it is now,” he said instead.  “That’s what Potter’s wife told me.”

She nodded and turned back around, settling back into his body once more.  This would be the last night Draco would be this close to her for quite some time.  He wanted to cherish every minute with her.  That’s why he was irritated when he saw the phone by her hip light up, and a second later start to ring.  Hermione quickly picked it up and said, “Hello?”

Draco strained to listen, but couldn’t hear anything.  He wanted to growl in frustration as she stood and began pacing the room.  He tried to stay focused on the window, knowing that he should just get up, say goodbye, and leave now before he did something stupid.  Instead he waited for her to hang up the phone.  When she did and didn’t return to the window, Draco turned to face her, his brow furrowed.  “Who was it?”

“Ginny.”  The phone slid from her hand and landed with a thud on the carpet.  He didn’t see it hit the ground because he was too focused on the tears that had begun running down Hermione’s cheeks.  He stood slowly and was in front of her in two strides, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders.

“What did she say?”

“Ron won the emergency custody he asked for today.”

The air whooshed out of Draco so quickly he felt dizzy.  “That _bastard_.  What happens now?”

Hermione was trembling under his touch.  She swallowed thickly and shook her head, openly crying now.  “I won’t get to see my children until after the holidays.  The judge is going out of town this weekend for the next month so there is no way to schedule a counter hearing until I finish my therapy.” 

Draco didn’t know what to say.  He helped Hermione to sit on the edge of the bed, but remained standing himself, taking over the pacing she had been doing only minutes before.  Potter had sent an owl this morning warning that Weasley planned on trying to get emergency custody, but with the holidays so close, they hadn’t thought it would go through.  Clearly, they had underestimated the situation.  It didn’t help that the Weasel’s girlfriend was still printing garbage about Hermione nearly every other day in the paper. 

Draco stopped pacing and stared out the window with an idea blooming in his mind.  Since he had gone back to work, Malfoy Enterprises had been flourishing.  A smirk grew on his face—maybe it was time for his company to invest, no, buy-out some of the companies in the Wizarding world.  He turned back towards Hermione feeling frantic and wanting to hurry before his idea fizzled out.

“I have to go.”

Hermione looked up at him with red rimmed eyes, and his resolve dissolved.  He could literally feel the wall he had slowly been building crumple inside of him.  It was no use.  There was no denying the love he felt for this woman.  She was as crazy and broken as he was, but that didn’t matter.  He couldn’t stay, but he wouldn’t deny her the love he felt in this moment. 

Shoving all his resolve aside, he took a step forward, and then another until he was right in front of her.  Dropping to his knees, Draco took Hermione’s face into his hands.  Her eyes sparkled uncertainly at him and she opened her mouth to speak—he didn’t give her the chance.  Crushing his mouth onto hers, he let his feelings take control for once.  At first she didn’t respond to his kiss, but as his hand drifted into her knotted hair and his tongue traced her bottom lip, he felt her relax and begin to kiss him back. 

Hermione opened her mouth, allowing him access to explore with his tongue.  He felt her moan resonate throughout him as he guided her backwards up the bed so he could lay on top of her.  This was probably the best and worst idea he’d had since arriving in this flat all those months ago, but he wouldn’t change a thing.  He felt Hermione’s hand slide down his back and tug the bottom of his shirt upwards.  He leaned back allowing her to lift it up and over his head and watched out of the corner of his eye as it fell to the floor next to the bed. 

Towering over her, he watched as she smoothed her hands back around to his chest and then up to his face.  She grabbed onto him and guided his mouth back to hers.  He let her take charge for a while before standing up to remove his jeans.  He returned to the bed, moving to lay beside Hermione and untying the robe she was wearing.  It fell off her easily to reveal her body to him in the street light from outside the window.  She was breathing heavily and looking at him through hooded eyes.  He slid a hand up her leg towards her thigh.  Continuing slowly, as if to give her a chance to say “stop”, he kept going until he was cupping her mound.  Her head fell back with a sigh and she opened her legs willingly to him. 

Placing a kiss to her bare shoulder, he eased two fingers easily into her.  He watched as her hands clenched the disheveled sheets, but she never took her eyes off of his.  He continued his ministrations for a few minutes until Hermione was a panting mess above him and he couldn’t help but move to kiss her again.  The kiss was much more heated than before.  Hermione’s hands raked over his back, chest, and anywhere else she could reach.  When he knew she could stand it no longer, Draco moved so he was fully on top of her. 

Staring into his eyes, it was Hermione that spoke first.  “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Yes.”

It was all he could manage to say.  He felt choked up with emotion.  Not because he was thinking about Astoria, but because he knew that this would be the beginning, and the end, for them.

Nodding her head, Hermione sat up and cupped his cheek.  She then pulled him in for a tender kiss, letting her tongue slide slowly through his mouth while gently pushing him down into the mattress.  She moved to sit quietly on his body.  It was his turn to explore her from below.  He slid his hands over her flushed skin and cupped her breasts, flicking his thumbs over the hardened nipples.  Hermione threw her head back, her hair cascading down her back.  Leaning forward she placed a chaste kiss to his lips while reaching back to positon him at her opening.  With one last look into his eyes, she lowered herself onto him.  They both hissed at the pleasure they felt. 

Draco held her in place for a moment, just treasuring the feeling before allowing her to raise herself up, then down again.  It was a minute before they managed to find a rhythm that worked, but when they did, it was as if time was standing still.  Draco looked up at Hermione, her head thrown back in ecstasy with the lamp light creating a soft glow on her flushed skin.  She was more beautiful than he had ever seen her.  He had seen her at her most vulnerable, and the love he felt was only growing. 

He could tell she was getting close, and he wanted to look into those burning brown eyes of her when she fell apart.  Gripping her waist, he stopped her long enough to turn their bodies so that he was on top.  Startled, she tilted her head in confusion, but he just kissed her deeply in reply before starting their rhythm back up again.  Breaking the kiss, Draco pushed his feelings to the front of his mind.  He wanted Hermione to know how much he loved her.  Reaching down, he slid his hand between them to rub against her.  She moaned in reply so he did it again, and again, and again until she broke apart underneath him. 

That was all he needed to help send him teetering on the edge.  He kissed her again, and pumped into her three more times before coming apart himself.  As he came down from his high, he opened his eyes to find her staring at him, tears on her cheeks.  She looked so worried, that he suddenly realized they were not her tears, but his own.  To make sure she wasn’t thinking he regretted what they had done, he kissed her and rolled so she could lay against his chest.  He brushed the hair from her face, and kissed her forehead.

“I love you, Hermione.”

She reached up and brushed her trembling fingers across his tear-stained cheeks.  “I know.”  She nestled into his warm embrace.  “I love you too.”  He held her like that until she fell asleep, which didn’t take long as she hadn’t been sleeping well.  Draco sat as still as possible waiting until she was in a deep sleep.  When he knew she was, he slipped out from under her and quietly got dressed.  Making sure that she was covered by the blanket, he took a pen and paper out of her nightstand drawer.  He scrawled a quick message for her and then stepped into the hallway where his bag was waiting for him.  Picking it up, Draco shut the door and went downstairs. 

He stood for a moment in the doorway to her flat.  It was still raining outside, but it was getting colder.  Maybe Hermione was right.  Maybe it _was_ going to snow tonight.  With one last look around, Draco stepped into the rain and closed the door, leaving Hermione sleeping upstairs, alone. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Hermione woke up slowly, her body hurting, but in an entirely different way than it had been for the past few years.  She felt warm and comfortable and like she could sleep for a thousand more years.  Her face was still snuggled into her pillow so she reached her arm out from underneath to try and pull Draco closer.  When her arm met with nothing but the quilt and mattress, she hurriedly sat up rubbing the sleep from her eyes and pushing her massive hair from her face. 

Blinking in the near darkness, she was surprised to find the room empty.  It was so quiet that she knew the rain that had plagued her for days had finally stopped.  Pushing herself up from the bed, she groped around for her robe.  Upon finding it in a crumpled mess on the floor, she shrugged it on and tied the front closed.  The room was colder than when she had been awake before.  She wasn’t even sure what time it was considering her clock was broken from her episode a few weeks back. 

Walking towards the window, she stopped and stared at the seat that she had occupied quite often lately.  There, folded once, was a tiny piece of notebook paper with one word written on the front: _Hermione_.  She knew immediately it was from Draco—not because of the handwriting, but because no one else would have left her a note.  Anyone else would have woken her up to tell her something. Holding her robe closer around her, she reached out for the offensive note, the feeling of dread growing stronger each second.  Unfolding it as she sat down, she tucked her legs under her and began to read.

_Hermione,_

_We have both known the time was coming for me to make my departure.  It was not my intention to have to leave so soon after we were together, but there are tasks that I must take care of right now.  Just know that my time with you has been more healing than I ever imagined.  You taught me that it was possible to love again.  You taught me that life is the most precious gift there is.  I want you to remember that most of all.  Do not be sad that I am gone.  Maybe someday we can be together, but for now, take care of yourself.  Get better so that you can see your children again.  Please do not try to come after me.  We need to be apart right now.  You are strong.  Fight for what is rightfully yours.  You can get through this without me.  Thank you for everything._

_Love, Draco_

She read the letter through twice before crumbling it into her palm and throwing it against the windowpane.  It was then that she fell completely apart.  The bloodcurdling scream echoed through the bedroom, and the window rattled as the tears came to her eyes.  She tucked into herself and let go as the sobbing took over her body.  She had lost her children and the man she loved all in a matter of a few hours.  Curling into a ball, Hermione allowed her sorrow to engulf her.

She never even noticed that outside, it had started to snow. 


	11. Breathe Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   
>  “Help, I have done it again.  
> I have been here many times before.  
> Hurt myself again today,  
> and the worst part is   
> there’s no one else to blame.”—Sia  
> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“He’s gone now.”

 “I’m fine.”

 “Everything is alright.”

“The snow is beautiful.”

“Nothing new to report.”

“Hope you are having a good weekend.”

“Tell Ginny hello for me.”

“I’m fine.”

“I’m fine.”

“I’m fine.”

Harry closed his cell phone and turned it over and over in his hand as he pondered about the texts he had been getting from Hermione.  Setting the phone on his desk, he swiveled his chair to look out the fake window of his office in the Auror Department.  She never answered his calls, but would text him back instead.  Something didn’t seem right, but she did say she was “fine”.  Turning back to his desk, Harry picked up the phone with every intention of trying to call her yet again to see if she would answer.  He was interrupted by a knock on his open door.  “Potter, the Minister needs to see us.”

Glancing up to see his partner, Bentley, in the door he let the phone drop back onto the desk.  “Okay, let’s go.”  He stood up and headed out of the office with the edgy feeling that something wasn’t right still.  It would have to wait until after his meeting though.  Maybe he would pop by her flat for a visit tomorrow afternoon.  With one last thought of his friend, he entered the lift to go and see Kingsley. 

Bentley pushed the lever for the correct floor and turned to smile at him.  “Have they found anyone for the empty position in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement?”

Harry shook his head as the lift doors closed and they began to move.  “Not that I’ve heard.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Harry stared at the words on the report in front of him not really seeing anything at all.  After his meeting with the Minister, he had gone out with Bentley on a mission and now he was trying to fill in the report to turn in tomorrow.  He wasn’t making much progress as his mind was still focused on Hermione and her strange texts.  Harry was still unable to get her on the phone and had received two more “I’m fine” texts.  He’d told Bentley he would be in late tomorrow morning so he could go see her instead of in the afternoon like he’d originally planned. 

With a yawn, Harry closed the file and leaned back in his chair and looked at the clock in his home office.  It was getting late and Ginny home yet.  Maybe the Quidditch game she had been covering for the paper had gone on later than anticipated.  He got up from the desk and turned out the light before heading towards the bathroom, deciding a hot shower would help him relax and take his mind off the unease he felt regarding his best friend.  He was just turning on the water when there was a crash from downstairs followed by a scream of, “Harry!”

Switching the water off, Harry quickly turned, grabbing his wand from the sink to run downstairs, not even caring that he knocked a picture of his three children off the wall as he bumped it on the way down.  He came to a stop in the living room where the front door was wide open, snow blowing in from outside.  That must have been what caused the crash.  His eyes quickly found those of his wife who was breathing heavily with a bandage over her left eye. 

“Ginny!  What happened?  Are you alright?”  He moved towards her quickly, taking her into his arms to try and figure out if she was injured anywhere else.  He didn’t see anything but Ginny was still frantic.

“Harry, _I’m_ fine—it’s Hermione!” Ginny shoved him away and headed towards the stairs.  Harry followed her upstairs and into the bedroom.  She began digging through the laundry basket until she found her cell phone.  Harry watched as she hit a speed dial and put the phone to her ear.  When she didn’t get an answer she hung up and tried again.

“What _about_ Hermione?  What are you doing?”  Harry was watching his wife become even more hysterical.

Frustrated, Ginny tossed the phone onto the bed and turned to face her husband.  The worry in her eyes reflected what he had been feeling all day.  She dragged a hand through her red hair and began to explain.  “I took a bludger to the head while covering the game today so they sent me to St. Mungo’s to get bandaged up.”  That explained the gauze on her head.  “While I was there, the head ER nurse, Abigail, asked if I had seen Hermione.  When I told her I hadn’t, she said that there were a lot of rumors going around about Chief Healer Devon letting her go because she hasn’t been going to therapy and that no one has seen or heard from her in ages.”  Ginny stepped forward and gripped his shoulders tightly.  “She hasn’t made it to a single appointment!  Where do you think she is?” 

Harry opened and closed his suddenly dry mouth a few times.  “I don’t know.  She won’t answer the phone and I only get texts from her saying she’s ‘fine’.”  Ginny suddenly went for his pants, which Harry thought was highly inappropriate right now, but when she grabbed his phone out of the back pocket, he realized she was just checking his messages.  Blushing slightly at his inappropriate thoughts, Harry asked, “Have you talked to her in a few weeks—like actually talking not just texting?”

“No!  That’s why I’ve been so worried since I heard about all this.”

Harry took his phone back, and sat down to put his boots back on his feet.  “I’m going over to her flat.  We need to see what’s happened and if she’s okay.  You stay here and keep the phone on.  Also, maybe try and find out what is going to happen since she missed all her therapy sessions.”  He stood up and put his wand in the back pocket of his jeans.  Ginny followed him downstairs.  Once outside he gave her a wave and Apparated to Diagon Alley to make the trek through the snow to Hermione’s flat. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The first thing Harry noticed when he entered Hermione’s flat wasn’t the complete darkness, which was odd enough considering how much Hermione loved lighting candles and lamps.  No, the first thing he noticed was the smell.  He was so used to it smelling liked baked goods, fresh food, and just _clean_.  Stepping fully inside and closing the door Harry was overwhelmed with a stagnant smell as if no one had been in here for a while.  A chill went up his spine, so he took his wand into his hand and whispered, “Lumos.”

Creeping through the room slowly, he made his way to the kitchen and stopped dead in the doorway.  The kitchen was a wreck—dirty plates and cups littered the counter and the sink was overflowing.  Swallowing back his growing apprehension, Harry continued on.  The dining room was normal and so was the hall bathroom.  The study door was ajar, so he peered inside carefully, letting his wand light the way.  There was no sign of Hermione, but it was a bit peculiar.

Harry knew that Malfoy had used this room while he lived here, but he thought that Hermione would have transfigured the bed back into a couch by now.  In fact, the bed looked slept in with the sheets and blanket crumpled with a dent in the pillow.  He wrinkled his forehead in confusion and decided that something was not right here indeed.  Leaving the room untouched he began a slow ascent to the second floor, listening intently for any signs that Hermione was upstairs. 

All was deadly quiet.

Rose and Hugo’s rooms were shut like normal when they were away from school, so Harry kept going down the dark hallway.  The linen closet was open and empty which was strange.  He looked into the bathroom and discovered the answer to the linen issue—all the towels were in the bathroom on the floor, tub, and toilet.  It smelled slightly of mold and dampness.  It reminded Harry a bit of the cave Dumbledore had taken him to all those years ago.  Trying to ignore the flashbacks of that night, Harry stepped back into the hallway and closed the door so he wouldn’t fall back into the memories of so long ago.

There was only one room left to check, and Harry wasn’t sure whether or not he wanted to find Hermione in there.  If the state of the rest of flat was any indication, he was terrified at what he might find on the other side of the closed bedroom door.  Not wanting to wake her if she was asleep, Harry tentatively turned the doorknob allowing the door to swing forward in front of him.  He kept his wand hand steady so he could see properly. 

If possible, the smell in the room was even worse than anything he had found so far.  It was a mixture of sweat, tears, mold, and stale air that assaulted his senses.  Quickly taking in the scene before him, he spotted Hermione sitting at the window.  The bed was a mess—sheets, pillow, and blankets half off the mattress.  More empty plates and mugs were strewn about on the nightstand and dresser, and even the floor.  Hermione’s wand was in the corner along with her cell phone and there were numerous crumbled up pieces of paper littering the floor.  Harry spotted three broken quills and one still usable one on the window seat next to a nearly empty ink well. 

Harry couldn’t move.  He was stunned at the woman sitting in the window.  Her normally bushy hair hung lifelessly from her head and her eyes were sunken in.  It looked as if she hadn’t eaten properly in weeks.  Her robe had stains and tears all over it.  It was barely functioning and Harry averted his eyes away from her body because he could clearly see exactly how thin she had become.  He was just about to step into the room when he heard her speak.

“Hello, Harry.  I wondered when you would come.”

He swallowed as he took in those big brown eyes staring at him lifelessly.  He dropped his wand hand and was next to her in three long strides.  “Hermione, what the hell happened to you?”  He said letting his wand drop to the floor as he cupped her face gently in his hands.  Tears sprung to his eyes at the relief he felt that she was alive, but also because she was clearly a shell of the once vibrant woman he knew so well.

“Don’t cry, Harry.  I’m fine.”  Harry knew she wasn’t fine though.  Her eyes had no life behind them and her voice was so raspy she had most likely not spoken in days…or weeks…Her cheeks had tear stains on them and her hair was greasy, although she appeared sort of clean. 

“You are not _fine_ ,” he said pulling her into an embrace.  “Please, what happened?  You have to talk to me.”

“He left me.”

Startled, Harry moved back to look into Hermione’s face again.  “Who?  _Malfoy_?”  When she started shaking and tears sprung to her eyes, he knew he was right.  Concern flooding his face, he pulled her to him once more and held her until the crying subsided.  He wasn’t sure if she had fallen asleep or passed out, but he lifted her into his arms and stood up.  A coldness swept through him at how utterly light she was.  Carefully, he carried her to the bed and placed her in the center.  Tucking a pillow under her head, he managed to untangle a blanket enough to cover her up. 

Once Harry was satisfied she was comfortable, he waved his wand and allowed his magic to start cleaning the room.  So he wouldn’t wake Hermione, Harry stepped into the hallway and called his wife on his cell phone.  Ginny picked up after a single ring. “Harry?  Is she alright?”

He placed his back against the wall and slid down, his emotions taking over.  He covered his mouth to try and stifle the sob that escaped him.  “Gin—I—I don’t know what happened.  Something is really wrong.  She’s not herself.”  He tried to pull in a breath to calm himself, but it only made it worse.  He could hear Ginny start to cry on the other end of the line too.

“What did she say?” Came her quiet reply.

He shook his head although he knew she couldn’t see him.  “She said ‘He left me.’ That was all I got out of her before she passed out.  I don’t know what happened.  I think she’s talking about Malfoy.”  Harry tried again to get himself under control and wiped at his eyes with his free hand. 

“Malfoy?”  There was silence on the other end, so he might as well tell her.

“I think they fell in love…in fact, Malfoy told me himself that he was falling for her.”  He sighed and rubbed a hand through his hair.  “I caught them kissing the night Padma’s article came out.”

“No!” 

“I did.”  Harry let his head fall back against the wall.  “I suspect that maybe things were a bit more complicated between the two of them than I was aware.”

“I guess maybe it was.”

The two were silent for a few minutes.  Harry sat there trying to get the horror of what was on the other side of the wall out of his head.  He also needed to come up with some sort of plan.  He needed to see Malfoy and find out what happened.  He couldn’t ask Hermione.  No, that would hurt her too much.  It was better if he found out a different way.  He also needed to figure out what to do next for Hermione. 

“Ginny?”

“Yes, Harry?”

“You said Hermione lost her job right?”

“That’s what Abigail told me.  Apparently they already started looking for someone to take her place at the hospital.”

Starting to stand up from the floor, Harry had an idea.  “Get ahold of Kingsley.  See if the position is still open in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.  See if he is willing to let Hermione come back to work at the Ministry.  If so, set up an interview or whatever else needs to be done.”  He was frantic now, ideas pouring into his head quickly. 

“Sure.  I’ll try to find him right now.”  Ginny was quiet for another minute before asking, “Harry, what are you going to do?”

Harry turned and looked into the bedroom at his long-time best friend as she slept.  He took in her sunken face and pale skin.  He let his gaze wander over her lackluster hair and then to the window seat where he had found her.

“I’m going to tell her everything.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

By the time Hermione had woken up, it was nearing three in the morning.  Harry had cleaned the entire apartment and even done a load of laundry.  He’d double checked to make sure that there was still no alcohol present in the house, and was glad to find it dry.  There was so much to tell Hermione, but he had no idea where to begin.  He had kept everything a secret for so long—in fact Ginny was the only one who knew. He loved her even more for staying with him through all of it, especially since he still struggled to this day. 

After he had finished cleaning, Harry had stepped out onto the balcony and called Ron.  He didn’t give two shits that it was after midnight when his friend answered his call.  He could tell that Ron had been asleep by the groggy way that he’d said, “Hell-oo.”

“Ron.”  That was all he could manage.  He was so angry with his friend for pushing his other friend to the breaking point.  He knew it wasn’t all Ron’s fault, but he wasn’t helping matters any by keeping Hermione from her children.  He heard his friend shifting around, probably getting out of bed.

“What’s up, mate?” 

“You need to call off this custody battle.  You are killing Hermione.”

“What the bloody hell are you talking about, Harry?”  Ron was getting angry now.  “It’s after midnight and you’re calling to tell me how to take care of my children?”

Harry slammed his hand down on the balcony railing.  “No, Ron.  I am calling to tell you that you are _literally_ killing your ex-wife.  She is dying and you are doing nothing but making it worse.  I don’t even know who you are anymore.  I don’t care that you and Hermione didn’t work out, but I will not stand by and allow you to kill her.  She is my best friend too, and I am going to be there for her through all of this.  I am not on your side.  You are wrong about this Ron!”  He was breathing heavily and he hoped he hadn’t woken Hermione.

“What do you mean I’m _killing_ her?” Ron’s question was whispered.

Harry sighed.  Finally, there was the old Ron he knew and loved.  The compassionate, caring individual that had sacrificed himself in a game of real life Wizard’s Chess and on so many other occasions. 

“She’s worse now.  Sober, I _think_ …but worse.  Something’s happened and I think this custody battle is pushing her over the edge.”  He was afraid to mention Malfoy’s name.  He didn’t want to start a fight that there was no winning side to.  Neither of them had a say in who Hermione chose to love.  That was her call. 

“Is Malfoy gone?” 

Harry sighed heavily into the phone.  “Yes.  I think he’s been gone for a while now.”

“It’s probably his fault.  He must have done something to her to make her lose it.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong.

“I don’t know.  She hasn’t talked to me yet.  I found her—she’s not well.”

“Clearly, she’s not fit enough to take care of Rose and Hugo.  Take her to St. Mungo’s.  Have her committed.  I warned her something like this would happen.  I’m just glad it’s not my children who got hurt.” 

There was a soft rustling sound on the other end of the line and a whispered, “Ron, are you coming back to bed?”

“Give me a minute, love.”  Ron replied to her.  The fury was returning to Harry’s veins.  “Listen, mate.  There’s not much I can do at this point.  The judge is out of the country until January.  Even if I _did_ want to settle the custody battle with her, there’s nothing I can do until then.  She better hope that she’s been holding up her end of the deal.  From what Padma has been saying, she’s lost her job and everything.  That’s not going to look good when we get to court.”

“She’s lost everything, Ron… _everything_ …”

“Not my problem.  Goodnight.”

The line went dead and Harry could do nothing but stare at the phone in his hand.  If he didn’t need it to get in touch with Ginny, he would have chucked it off the balcony into the snow covered street. 

After the phone call, Harry had gone back inside and made himself some tea.  He’d gotten a text from Ginny, “Kingsley said to have her come in Saturday to talk to him.”  That was good news.  Now he just had to talk Hermione into it.  The text he sent back simply said, “I love you.”

At three he had heard movement upstairs, so he’d gone back up to the room and found Hermione at the window again.  She had a sheet around her this time, but she still looked awful.  He walked into the room and sat down next to her then looked outside to see if maybe he could understand what was so appealing about sitting here.  He couldn’t. 

“I want to tell you something,” Harry said firmly.  If he didn’t start now, he wasn’t sure if he could tell her.  He had kept it to himself for so long. 

She turned her eyes towards him and he nearly lost the nerve to go on—nearly.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a coin.  Taking her hand in his he dropped the coin into her palm and then released his grip on her.  She looked at him with confusion on her face before holding the coin up.  Hermione stared at it a moment and then said, “One day at a time.”  She brought her gaze back to his face.  “Harry, what is this?”

He smiled sadly at her.  “You’re not alone, Hermione.”

She began to shake her head in confusion, so he continued.  “After the war ended, Ginny and I moved in together right away, but it wasn’t for the reason everyone thought.  We moved in together because she was helping take care of me.  I was so messed up that I began drinking almost constantly to drown the pain I felt.”  He stopped and took a minute to collect his thoughts.  He could see Hermione watching him out of the corner of his eye, but he just kept staring out that damn window.

“I was like that for nearly three years—just barely holding it together.  I was constantly bombarded with the faces of those that died because of me— _for_ me.  Drinking helped to numb the pain.  It didn’t take it away though.  Ginny finally suggested I go and see someone, but I was afraid, like you, that the Wizarding world would find out.  It got so bad, that finally I didn’t care anymore.  I decided to join a Muggle group of Alcoholics Anonymous.  By the time Ginny and I got married, I was almost completely sober.  It took a lot of work.  There were good and bad days, but Ginny helped me through all of it—and she kept my secret.  I haven’t had a drink in years.”  He smiled.  “Have I wanted to?  Yes, but this coin helps me remember that if I just take it one day at a time, I can make it through.”

He gestured to the coin in her hand.  “You can have that.  I want you to know that I am here for you—that I’ve been where you are.  It gets better.”

He watched as she twirled the coin in her hands before letting her palm close around it.  When she looked back at him there were more tears in her eyes.  “Thank you, Harry.”  She shuffled forward and fell into his arms.  He hugged her fiercely as tears clouded his vision as well.  It felt good to finally share his secret with his best friend.  The fact that it might help her get through this rough patch made it even better. 

“Now, you better get some rest.  Tomorrow, we’re going to your first AA meeting together, and then Saturday you have an interview for a position with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.  Kingsley said you could come back…and I think it’s a good thing you’ve lost your job at the hospital.  You need out of there…too many bad memories.”

Hermione didn’t say anything…she just let Harry hold her until she fell back to sleep. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It was Saturday afternoon and Harry was sitting in his office at the Ministry.  Hermione was upstairs at her interview, and Harry was trying to have Bentley track down where Malfoy was right now so he could try and ask him about what happened.  The bloody Slytherin wasn’t answering his owls so he needed to just surprise him.  The thing was, Harry had no idea where Malfoy Enterprises’ headquarters was located.  Just as he was starting to lose patience, Bentley rushed into the office.

“Potter, I have it on a good source that Malfoy will be dining at the Leaky Cauldron for lunch in five minutes.”  He pushed his long hair behind his ears. 

“Five minutes?!” Harry said standing up quickly.  He would have to hurry if he wanted to ambush Malfoy.  Grabbing his cloak, he dashed past Bentley.  “Thanks, Bentley!  I owe you one!”

“You can buy me a pint later!”  Bentley shouted after him with a smile.  Harry could manage that. 

Six minutes later, a panting Harry stood in the doorway to the Leaky Cauldron frantically searching for a certain blond haired pureblood.  Spotting a flash of blond in the back corner, he shrugged off his cloak and made a beeline towards the man in question.  Malfoy looked up from his beef stew with a blank look on his face.

“I was wondering when you would come for me.”  Malfoy set his spoon down and sat up a bit straighter before indicating Harry should sit across from him.  “So I guess the long haired man works for you?”  Bentley, Harry thought, must not have been as inconspicuous as he had planned. 

“Why haven’t you replied to my owls?” Harry asked as he took a seat. 

Malfoy shrugged.  “I thought that maybe the conversation we needed to have was more of a face-to-face one.”

“What happened?”

“Way to just come right out with it.”

Harry leaned forward trying to keep his voice quiet and even.  “Listen here, Malfoy.  I found Hermione in a state of _ruin_ two days ago.  Apparently, she just gave up after you left her.  I can’t ask her what happened because I’m afraid it might break the resolve she’s managed to build up since then, so I have to ask you.  And you, you’re going to tell me everything.  So what the _fuck_ happened three weeks ago?”

“What do you mean you found her in a state of ruin _two days_ ago?  Are you suggesting that none of you bloody Gryffindors checked on her for _three_ weeks?”  Malfoy looked a bit panicked and it made him feel uncomfortable…and guilty. 

“We’ve all been busy…but you’re not answering my question.”

“You have got to be _kidding_ me.”  Draco ran his hands up over his face and into his hair causing it to become undone.   “ _Fuck_...Potter…we slept together.”

Slumping back into the chair, Harry didn’t know what to say.  He had thought that might have happened, but he hadn’t been able to know for sure until now.  It all made sense.  “You’re telling me that you slept with Hermione and then…just left her?”

“I’m not proud of it.  I had to do something though.  It was more important than our feelings for one another.”

Harry snapped.  “What in Merlin’s name could have been more important than the fragile feelings of a woman who is going through hell right now?”

Malfoy sighed and shrugged his shoulders.  “I bought the paper the Weasel’s girlfriend works for.  She’s receiving her transfer this afternoon.  She’ll be moving to France in the next month or so…or she’ll quit.  And if she finds another paper to work for, I’ll buy that one too!  Either way, she won’t be able to print articles about Hermione anymore.”

There was nothing for Harry to do but sit and stare at his former nemesis.  This man had left the woman he loved in order to try and save her from her demons.  “Does she know that you love her?”

“Yes.”

“Shit.”

“I’ve also hired the practice her lawyer works for.  Her lawyer has been removed from her case and she now has the best lawyer money can buy.”

Harry leaned forward and put his face in his hands.  This was too much.  Hermione needed to know what Malfoy was doing for her.  It might help her to get better.  “I have to tell her.”

“You will do nothing of the sort.”  Malfoy slammed his hand on the table and narrowed his eyes at him.  “I am doing this so that she can win her children back.  If the Weasel gets wind of any of this he’ll be able to use it against her.  Under no circumstance will you tell her.  I have not torn _my_ heart into pieces just so you can go and fuck it all up.  Do you understand?”

“You didn’t see her.  If you had known what was going on, maybe you would let me tell her…or maybe you could tell her.”  Harry tried to get him to understand what Hermione needed, but when he saw the tears in the man’s eyes he stopped short. 

“I love her, Potter.  I will do anything for her, but we can’t be together right now.  Maybe not ever, but that is just something I will have to live with.  This conversation is over.”  With that, Malfoy got up, put some coins on the table, and left the pub. 

Hannah Abbott-Neville came over to collect the dishes and money.  She asked him if he needed anything else, but he just shook his head and got up to put his cloak back on again.  She smiled at him as he left the pub as well.  He then made his way back to the Ministry to see how Hermione’s interview had gone.

When he arrived, Hermione was already sitting in his office.  She jumped up from the chair she was sitting in and threw herself into his arms.

“I got the job!”  She smiled, but it didn’t quite meet her eyes.  Harry smiled back, and wished he could tell her about a certain blond that had given up everything so that she could get her children back. 

He did the next best thing though—he held her and made sure she knew he was there for her. 

No matter what happened next, Harry would be there for her at least. 


	12. Elastic Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
>  “And I want it, I want my life so bad.  
> I'm doing everything I can.  
> Then another one bites the dust.  
> It's hard to lose a chosen one.”  
> —Sia  
> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Every New Year’s Eve, the Ministry of Magic would throw a lavish party in the Atrium.  There were tables full of magical food and treats to eat, and the fountain was filled will champagne.  Music would be provided from a band for guests to dance to well into the night.  Everyone would cheer at midnight and celebrate with each other and the ones they loved most.  Hermione normally would attend this party with Harry and Ginny without issue, but this year her heart wasn’t really into it. 

However, her new position as the main researcher for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement required her to at least make an appearance.  So here she was, in her favorite black cocktail dress, sitting at a table in the corner and sipping a club soda.  She hadn’t had an alcoholic beverage since she had tried committing suicide, but watching everyone else have fun drinking tonight was really making her wish she was dipping _her_ glass into the fountain. 

With a sigh, Hermione fished the coin Harry had given her out of the hidden pocket in her dress.  Running her finger over the words, “one day at a time”, she was able to push the need for alcohol away for now.  It was getting easier, but she did better when there was nothing around to tempt her.  Harry had said he still struggled in public because he had tried to keep his addiction a secret.  She no longer had that luxury thanks to Padma.  At least the woman had moved to France and was working for the paper in Paris now.  Apparently, Ron hadn’t been happy about her taking the transfer, but Hermione had been thrilled to find out the gossip hungry bitch would be leaving her alone.

The only downfall to this issue was that Ron had taken the children to Paris for the holidays.  It wasn’t like Hermione was allowed to see them anyway.  She had spent her Christmas at Harry and Ginny’s house.  At least she could spoil her nieces and nephews with love and presents.  She couldn’t even be sure that Ron had allowed her gifts to be delivered to Rose and Hugo considering she had not heard from them at all.  Ginny said she would find out and to make sure they got them. 

There was a burst of laughter at the table near her and she was startled back into the present.  The band was playing something slow and Hermione could see Harry and Ginny dancing quite closely out on the dancefloor.  It made her smile to see just how happy they were after all this time.  It also made her sad to think that she had no one to dance with like that—no one to love her like she loved them.  Slipping the coin back into her pocket, Hermione glanced at her watch. Ten to midnight.  Fifteen more minutes and she could retreat to the quiet seclusion of her flat and go to sleep.  Or try to at least.

Her AA counselor advised her not to take any sleeping pills or anything at all.  It really made her sleepless nights a lot worse.  She had a bottle in her cabinet just in case her insomnia got too horrible, but she was doing everything possible to make sure that when the judge returned in two weeks that she would win back joint custody of the children.  Therapy was going well, and so was her new job.  Honestly, if it wasn’t for that _other_ thing, she would be doing great right about now. 

Speaking of him, Harry hadn’t bothered talking to her about the situation again since that night he had found her at her lowest.  In fact, Ginny never seemed to mention it either.  Hermione wondered if they knew more than she did…or that they knew more than she had told them.  Emptying her drink, Hermione decided she needed one last refill before midnight struck and it was time to head home.  She stood from the table and smoothed out the wrinkles that hard formed in her dress from sitting so long.  She made sure to stay to the outside of the crowd to avoid overhearing any whispered gossip about herself.  The things some people were still saying were enough to send her over the edge again.

Reaching the refreshment table unscathed, Hermione refilled her glass and even took a moment to sample a mini cheesecake dessert.  She let the richness flood her senses and realized she missed cooking and baking.  She had been ordering a lot of carry-out lately.  Maybe that could be her New Year’s Resolution: get back into cooking for herself again.  She leaned back against the table and watched as the people dancing picked up their tempo to match what the band was playing now.  Feeling a bit indulgent, she popped another treat into her mouth and began to let her gaze travel across the room. 

Her gaze locked onto a pair of steely grey eyes in the corner causing her to nearly spit out her dessert.  Coughing slightly, she managed to compose herself and maintain eye contact with Draco.  It was the first time she had seen him in over a month and her heartbeat instantly began to race.  Hermione continued to stare at him completely frozen in place.  He looked just as good as she remembered.  He was wearing dark grey dress robes with a navy blue shirt underneath.  His eyes looked a bit tired, but he seemed alright overall.  She didn’t even notice that the band had stopped playing and everyone around her was counting down.  She started to make her way towards him. 

Ten.  
Nine.  
Eight.  
Seven.  
Six.  
Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

The party-goers cheered loudly at the chime of the large clock on the wall.  Everyone around her was yelling “Happy New Year” and setting off confetti poppers.  Hermione was distracted for a split second, and when she glanced back where Draco had been, she found that he had disappeared into the madness of the party once more.  She hadn’t even known he was there at all.  Feeling crestfallen, Hermione set her full glass down on the nearest table and headed towards the exit.  She may be doing well with her therapy and new job, but her heart was still shattered into a million tiny pieces.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Hermione rushed into the Leaky Cauldron, snowflakes flying about her head.  It had been three days since the New Year’s Eve party and Harry had insisted meeting her for lunch.  Seeing as he was out on a mission, he had asked her to meet him here instead of the cafeteria in the Ministry.  Hermione shrugged out of her oversized coat, and placed it on the rack by the door.  Giving a wave to Hannah Longbottom, she made her way towards their favorite table in the corner.  Harry hadn’t arrived yet, so that gave her some time to prepare herself for the many questions he was going to ask her.  He was her AA sponsor after all and he would no doubt be wondering if she had been able to keep away from the alcohol the past few days. 

While she was waiting, she also decided to pull out her self-inking quill and finish her letter to her children.  Ginny had promised to make sure they got it.  The custody hearing was in less than two weeks and she wanted the children to know she was doing everything in her power to make sure they could come see her at Easter.  Resting the quill against her lip she stared down at the letter.  Hermione didn’t want to sound needy, but she wanted to convey how much she missed them in her life.  She wanted them to know she hadn’t abandoned them!  With a sigh, Hermione finished her letter. 

_Rose and Hugo,_

_I am so very sorry for not being able to spend the holidays with you.  I know that you had no idea, but I have been going through some very troublesome times these past few years.  I want you to know that the rumors are true.  I am an alcoholic and I did try to commit suicide.  Please, do not think that it was your fault in any way.  It was mine.  I let the world and its problems get into my head and allowed my depression to take over.  It is an everyday battle and I have my good days and my bad days.  Now, though, more days are good than bad.  Thinking of the two of you being able to see me again helps me to see the light in every day.  I hope that you two liked your Christmas presents.  Aunt Ginny told me that you got them, but I wanted to make sure.  Your father has been difficult about the situation, but please do not be mad at him.  He is doing what he feels is best.  I was not at my best, but I will be soon.  Like I said, every day is a battle.  Uncle Harry is helping me to take one day at a time so that I can get better and be the best mother possible.  In a few weeks this could all be over.  I want you to go back to school and work hard.  Do not worry about what is going on between your father and me and just worry about your schoolwork.  Rose, you will be graduating soon and I trust that you are preparing for your NEWTS.  Hugo, I want you to do your very best on your OWLS as well.  Behave, and I hope to see you soon!_

_With love always,_

_Mom_

Hermione sniffed and rubbed at the tears in her eyes so none would fall onto the letter and smudge the ink.  She was just folding the letter into an envelope when Harry dropped down into the chair across from her and shook the snow from his messy hair.  He gave her a quick look and the smile dissolved off his face.

“What’s wrong, Hermione?  Are you okay?”  He reached across and took her hand into his.

She smiled tearfully and shrugged.  “I’m alright, Harry.  I was just finishing up this letter to Rose and Hugo.”  She sealed the envelope and handed it to her long-time friend.  He took it and quickly tucked it away.

“Don’t you worry.  I will make sure this gets to them safely.  Ginny is headed over to see them later since they head back to Hogwarts tomorrow.  Ron is supposed to go back to the Paris shop so Ginny is taking Rose and Hugo to King’s Cross with our kids.”  Harry gave her his most reassuring smile, and opened the small menu that was on the table.  “I’m thinking of getting Sheppard’s pie.  How about you?”

Hermione struggled to return his smile all the while thinking about how she wasn’t really hungry at all.  She managed to nod in agreement and didn’t even fuss when Harry ordered for her.  They sat in silence until their steaming mugs of hot chocolate arrived.  Hermione was the first to speak as she realized the silence was becoming awkward. 

“Did you and Ginny have a nice evening the other night?  You two looked happy dancing all night long.” She took a sip of her drink, nearly scorching her tongue in the process.

Copying Hermione, Harry managed to burn his tongue as well.  He made a face but spoke anyway.  “Yeah, we had a great time.  We went looking for you after midnight, but you had already left.  You were okay, right?” The unspoken question was: Did you drink any alcohol?

“I was fine.”

He gave her a worried look but it was gone as quick as it appeared.  “That’s good.  We haven’t had a chance to talk since then.  Why did you leave so early?”

“I saw him there.”

Harry spat out the mouthful of hot chocolate he had just tried to swallow.  “What?!” He quickly scorgified the mess with his wand.  “Why didn’t you say something?”

“I didn’t want to worry you.  Besides, it’s not really that big of a deal.  We locked eyes.  He didn’t smile or acknowledge me.  Midnight arrived…and he disappeared.  Very anticlimactic.”  She looked down at the table and traced the rim of her mug.  It was still warm to the touch. 

“I’m so sorry, Hermione.  I didn’t know he was going to be there.” He glanced away, an embarrassed tinge to his cheeks.  “I should have known and prepared you for it.”

Reaching across the table, she took Harry’s hand in her own this time.  “Listen, I work at the Ministry now, Draco and I are bound to bump into each other from time to time.  He is an avid donor and from one of the oldest and most prominent Pureblood families.  Of course he’s going to be at Ministry functions.  And even though it hurts to see him and know that he chose to leave me, I will put on a brave face because I want my life back.  I want to be happy again.  Eventually, I think I can get there.” 

Harry squeezed her hand and allowed her to let go.  She kept her eyes on his face and thought for a moment she saw something more flicker across it, but it was gone before she could figure it out.  “I know, and you’re going to get Rose and Hugo back, and maybe someday, even Malfoy.”

Slouching back in her seat, she sighed and shook her head.  “I don’t know Harry.  Draco had his own demons he was dealing with.  The anniversary of Astoria’s death is coming up and my issues are definitely not what he needs in his life right now.  He may have said he loved me, but I’m not sure I’m what he really needs.  I am toxic—no don’t make that face.  I _am_ and I need to fix myself before I can be with anyone else.”   

“You’re not nearly as toxic as you think you are.”

Before she could ask what he meant, Hannah brought over their lunch and they had to hurry and eat before heading back to work.  They kept to idle chit-chat the rest of the time, and before they knew it, it was time to head out.  Harry gave her a quick goodbye and headed out into Muggle London, while she headed back towards the Ministry.  A trip into a public restroom and a quick flush later and she was back inside the warm Atrium.  Walking briskly, she entered the lift and headed towards her office.  She had some last minute research to do for a case that would be going to hearing tomorrow and she wanted to make sure everything was perfect.  It was the perfect way to push thoughts of Draco Malfoy from her mind. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

A few hours later, Hermione was still working adamantly in her office.  She had shrugged out of her work robes and rolled her sleeves up.  A quill was stuck behind her ear and a half empty tea cup sat on her desk long ago gone cold.  She was studiously highlighting important notes for the Law Enforcement wizards to use in the hearing so she didn’t notice that someone had stopped in her doorway.  It wasn’t until the person knocked three times on the doorjamb that she managed to acknowledge the noise and look up, her hair a disheveled mess. 

“Oh!  Mr. Chapman, I am so sorry I didn’t notice you right away,” Hermione exclaimed, quickly trying to tame her hair and knocking the quill behind her ear flying onto the floor.  She scurried to pick it up and smoothed out her tousled appearance as best she could before looking her boss in the eye.  He was smiling, so she figured she wasn’t in trouble for anything.  “Please, come in,” she told him and gestured to the one small chair she had in her tiny, box-sized office.  It barely had enough room for the medium sized book shelf she’d finagled inside or the tall filing cabinet tucked into the corner behind her desk.  There wasn’t even a window but she wasn’t complaining.  She was glad to have anywhere to work at this point in her mid-life crisis. 

She sat down and tidied up her files as Mr. Chapman made himself comfortable.  He still wasn’t speaking, and that made her nervous.  Once she was settled, she chanced a glance at his face.  He was still idly smiling.  “Mr. Chapman, what can I help you with this evening?” A look at her wall clock did show it was nearing seven, and she was surprised he was still here.  Usually she was the only one who stayed this late. 

Chapman leaned back and crossed his legs, smoothing his tan work robes out.  “Oh, no worries, Ms. Granger.  I was waiting to catch you as you were leaving, but it seems you will be staying far later than myself this evening.”  There was humor behind his words but Hermione felt bad about having him wait.

“I’m sorry.  I just want these to be ready for tomorrow.  I was leaving soon.”

“Honestly, Ms. Granger, your work ethic is not under scrutiny.  In fact, it is the reason for my seeking you out.”

“Really?” She questioned, leaning forward slightly and clasping her hands together. 

“Certainly.  You’re always the first here in the morning, and the last to leave at night.  Your files are kept ridiculously organized and everything has been running smoothly since you’ve started back here.  I came to ask if you wanted to present that case you’re working on to the Wizengamot tomorrow by yourself.” Chapman gestured to the file in front of Hermione.  She simply looked at the file then back up at him and blinked.

“Really?”

She knew it sounded silly to repeat that, but she didn’t know what else to say. 

Chapman uncrossed his legs and stood up, and Hermione instinctively jumped up to join him.  “I can see you going quite far here, Ms. Granger.  Give it a shot tomorrow.  I think you’re going to be brilliant.”  With that he tipped his head in farewell and left her office.  Hermione stood there for a few minutes just staring at where her boss had disappeared.  Surprisingly, she had just received a promotion out of the blue.  It might be just what the court would be looking for to prove she is getting her life together so she can win the custody battle.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Hermione stood in her best work robes, her file in hand as she waited for the Wizengamot courtroom door to open.  Everyone was standing there with her: Harry, Ginny, Molly, Arthur, Ron, Padma, and even George.  The day of the custody hearing had finally arrived and she was more nervous than she had thought possible.  Her breakfast hadn’t even made it five minutes in her stomach before she’d been rushing for the loo.  Despite her luck with the past two weeks as a case worker in the Magical Law Enforcement office, she was still worried about this hearing the most. 

Ginny sat down next to her and handed her a bottle of water.  She took it but didn’t bother opening it.  If she drank anything, she’d have to find the loo again.  Ron was pacing and Padma was scribbling something in a notebook.  Molly and Arthur were talking quietly to the side while George watched his brother pace.  Harry was facing the door to the courtroom, his back adamantly positioned towards everyone else.  He hadn’t said a word to anyone since they had all arrived about fifteen minutes ago.  It made Hermione nervous, but she didn’t voice any concern as she didn’t want to lose her cool.

At half past ten, the doors opened and they were all beckoned inside by a short, bald man wearing flowing black robes.  Filing inside, everyone but Hermione and Ron made their way to the stands in the back while she and Ron took their places in the middle of the room.  Her lawyer was waiting for her there.  Mr. Bell was a tall man who wore expensive robes.  Honestly, she had no idea how her payments were covering him.  He looked as if he was hired by rich Pureblooded families, not Muggleborn girls like herself.  He gave her a small smile and a nod as she took her place next to him.  She mumbled a good morning, and then handed the file she had been holding to him.  He had asked her to look over it and make sure all the content was accurate before they began the trial today.

Sure enough, Mr. Bell had done an excellent job when taking over her case.  He had dug deep and made sure that she came out smelling like roses, even with her background in alcoholism and attempted suicide.  He was going to make sure the court knew she was fit to be a mother even with those little hiccups on her nearly spotless resume.  Hermione snuck a glance at Ron and his lawyer through her curly hair.  He seemed rather fidgety and his lawyer seemed a bit perturbed at seeing Mr. Bell working her case.  She had heard Bell’s reputation was well known, but she didn’t realize it would irk her ex-husband’s lawyer so much.  Mr. Cox looked rather pale indeed.  Hermione smirked.

A moment later the Wixengamot filed in and the trial began.

The next two hours every day of her and Ron’s marriage was laid out to those in attendance.  Both Ron’s and her own dirty laundry was put forth to the Wizengamot.  The pair answered a variety of questions and were asked to explain situations.  Her medical records were examined and it was discovered that Ron had a bit of gambling habit she hadn’t known about.  Again, Hermione was astounded by Mr. Bell’s research and wondered how she was going to afford this when it was all over.  Mr. Cox was struggling and it made Hermione feel a bit better knowing that the Ron was looking worried.  They finally reached the recent years and Hermione’s work as a Therapist Healer.  Of course Draco’s name was brought into account. 

Cox had plenty to say about his time as a Death Eater and work for Tom Riddle.  It was also noted that her attempted suicide was during the time he was staying with her.  Ron’s lawyer went on and on about how this had affected her relationship with her children and that she had gone drastically downhill.  It was at this time that Bell decided to bring forward the Character References he had acquired in her defense.  She was surprised to find that he read one from her current Head of Department, Mr. Chapman and another from her previous Department Head, Healer Devon.  Both had wonderful things to say about her work ethic and the changes she had made while working for each of them. 

The next Character Reference was from Harry, who willingly stepped down next to her to read his own letter.  Ron looked a bit livid as did Arthur and Molly that Harry had done this for her instead of Ron, but Hermione knew they would forgive him.  Ginny nodded her head in agreement throughout the entire reading and kissed her husband on the cheek when he returned to sit next to her.  Hermione gave her friends a bright smile which was returned to her.  Taking a deep breath, Hermione turned back towards the Wizengamot expecting them to be ready to make their decision.  She was surprised by Mr. Bell’s sudden clearing of his throat. 

“We have one more Character Reference letter to read before you make your decision.  This letter was sent to me this morning, so I have not yet had a chance to read it or discuss it with my client.”  Mr. Bell pulled out of his case an envelope that was sealed with a blob of hardened green wax.  In the wax Hermione could distinctly see the Malfoy family crest.  Her heart thudded in her chest and she turned wide-eyed to face Bell.  He was looking at her calmly as he flicked open the seal and unrolled the parchment.  Her heartbeat was so loud she was sure they could hear it upstairs in her department.  Out of the corner of her eye she saw Harry and Ginny stand up as if they wanted to be closer to her in this moment.  Padma was furiously scribbling in that annoying notebook of hers. 

She couldn’t see Ron or Cox, but she could tell they were in an uproar.  She barely registered the Wizengamot approving the reading of the letter.  Her sole focus was on that single piece of parchment Bell held in his hands.  Draco Malfoy had written a Character Reference letter for her.  What did this mean?  She clasped her hands together and waited with baited breath has her lawyer began to read. 

_“To Whom it May Concern,_

_I have known Hermione Granger for the better part of my life.  I have come to know her as an honest, brave, brilliant, and nurturing woman.  She is also one of the most caring and selfless witches I have ever met._

_She has been there for me more than anyone could ever know since the loss of my wife, Astoria.  I lost myself after my wife died, but when Hermione took me in and became my Therapist Healer, I was able to find myself again.  Hermione and I have had our ups and downs over the years, more downs than ups, but through it all, her character has never changed._

_She has always been there for the people she cares about no matter what.  She was there to help Potter defeat the Dark Lord, she was there to rebuild Hogwarts and St. Mungo’s after the war, and she was there for me when I needed her the most.  She helped repair the fractured relationship I had with my son, Scorpius, after the death of his mother.  With her own children, I have seen her show nothing but compassion and love.  Her children always come first.  Once Hermione Granger becomes a part of your life, she’s there forever whether you want her there or not._

_I know from personal experience what an amazing gift this is and to not allow her access to her children would be to seriously deprive them of all this woman has to offer, and she offers so much._

_Thank you for your time._

_Sincerely,_

_Draco Malfoy”_ *

Tears glazed Hermione’s eyes as Mr. Bell finished reading.  Blinking rapidly while turning to look at Harry, she found that he too had tears in his eyes along with his wife.  Molly was dabbing her own with the corner of her jumper and Arthur was adamantly clearing his throat.  George was leaning forward with a look on his face that suggested that he was trying to keep his emotions in check as well.  Padma’s mouth was hanging open and her notebook had disappeared from sight.  Mr. Bell folded the letter and set it on the table in front of her.  She picked it up and held it to her heart.  That was where Draco belonged, in her heart.  She knew now more than ever that no matter what, she would always love that man.  He had written the most beautiful letter for her.  She refused to glance at Ron and Mr. Cox.  Looking at them would only ruin this moment for her. 

The Head of the Wizengamot cleared her throat and called for any Character Reference letters that Ron may have.  There were none.  With a solemn nod of her head, she indicated it was time to vote.  Those in favor of Hermione gaining custody would raise their wands with glowing purple tips, and those opposed would hold up glowing blue wands.  Hermione wanted to close her eyes.  She wanted more than anything to look away because the beating of her heart and the tensing of her stomach was enough to drive her to the brink of passing out from anxiety. 

Despite the coolness of the dungeon courtroom, Hermione could feel a trickle of sweat drip down her spine as the Wizengamot began raising their wands.  One by one they raised those wands—slowly at first, and then more quickly.  Hermione’s eyes grew wide the more wands she saw—they were mostly purple!  In the end only six witches and wizards had raised blue wands.  Hermione’s breath left her in a rush as the tears cascaded down her face.  She put her face in her hands and crumpled to the floor in joyful tears.  She could hear Ron’s outraged cry as he berated his lawyer for losing.  She glanced up and saw Ginny coming to her aid and helping her to her feet.  She saw Harry shaking Arthur’s hand and giving Molly a hug before they exited the courtroom.  Hermione even felt the hand George placed on her shoulder as she looked into his sad, brown eyes. 

When she was sure she could control herself, Hermione turned to her lawyer.  “Mr. Bell, I don’t think I could have done this without you.  Thank you so much.  I don’t know how to thank you enough.” She reached out and shook his hand.

He gave her a small smile while turning to close his briefcase.  “Ms. Granger, it has been my pleasure to work on this case with you.  When I was told I would be taking on this case I was quite surprised.  It wasn’t until I read that letter just now that I truly knew why Mr. Malfoy asked me to replace your previous lawyer.”

Hermione’s smile faltered, but Ginny spoke before she could. 

“Malfoy put you on this case?”

“Oh yes, he told me it was pertinent that I drop all other cases and take this on full time.  Of course I acquiesced.  One does not say no to a Malfoy.” Mr. Bell picked up his briefcase and turned to Hermione.  “Good luck, my dear.  I believe that Mr. Malfoy cares for you much more than you know.  I hope that you enjoy your time with your children as well.”  Hermione gaped after him for a moment before whirling towards her two friends.

“Draco paid for an expensive lawyer to take my case.”

“He did.” Harry said with a nod.  He reached out and squeezed her shoulder.

Opening her mouth to say something proved fruitless because in the next instant she found herself running out of the room and towards the stairs rather than the lift.  She was thankful she had thought to wear flats instead of pumps as she took the stairs two at a time.  Her hair and robes billowed out behind her as she raced through the levels of the Ministry.  She reached the Atrium much faster than she thought she would, and with much less breath than she needed to think clearly.  She pushed through the crowd of witches and wizards making their way to wherever they needed to be until she was standing in the hall of blazing fireplaces.

She stopped and stood scanning the area for what she was looking for—or rather _who_ she was looking for.  She spotted him a few fireplaces away.  He was gazing at her with eyes full of an emotion she had missed dearly and thought she might never see again—love.  She took a step towards him but he shook his head.  She tilted her head in confusion as the tears sprung to her eyes once more.  People continued to push past her, but all she could see was Draco. 

Shrugging her shoulders she let the tears fall free.  “Thank you,” she managed to say as she sobbed uncontrollably now.  She took another step but his hand was already raised.  Hermione watched in anguish as the man she loved, the man that helped her get her children back, nodded in understanding and then threw floo powder into the fireplace. 

The next instant he was consumed by the bright green flames. 

Hermione blinked, and he was gone.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


	13. Maps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   
>  “I was there for you in your darkest times.  
> I was there for you in your darkest nights.  
> But I wonder where were you when I was at my worst?”  
> —Maroon 5  
> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this sooner than expected because I stayed up too late last night finishing it because it was stuck inside my head and needed out! Well, things are starting to wind down. We’re getting so close to the end. This is literally the second to last chapter. Again, I am not counting the epilogue. Forgive me for moving quickly in some areas as they are not perfectly necessary for the plot but still need to happen nonetheless. Also don’t forget that I have created a playlist (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBB07B836F8A74AD4) in case you want to listen to the song I found inspiration from! You can also follow me on tumblr (iamsherlocked-inthetardis) for excerpts, hints, and just a bunch of random blogging! Please make sure to review! Love you all bunches!

“Did you see the _Prophet_ this morning?”

Hermione looked up from her paperwork to find Harry leaning against her doorjamb.  She leaned back and gestured for her friend to come inside her new, larger office.  He sat down across from her and accepted the cup of tea she had conjured for him.  She took her time stirring her own tea before answering the question.  “I did.  It was…surprising to say the least.”

“I thought you might want to talk about it.”

She gave Harry a sharp look and set her cup down a bit roughly before pulling the morning’s paper towards her from under a pile of reference books.  The cover read: _Malfoy Mansion up in Flames!_ Scanning the page again for the umpteenth time, Hermione tossed the paper into the rubbish bin.  “I don’t see why.  It’s been months, Harry.  Months! I’m not surprised he’s finally managed to completely burn the manor to the ground.  He hated that place for so long…there were too many horrible memories for him.  Most of his sessions ended with us discussing how the Malfoy Manor was the root of all evil.”

Harry smiled crookedly and gestured at her arm.  “Can you blame him?”

Frowning, she rubbed at the skin of her arm that still faintly read “Mudblood”. 

“No, of course not.”

Tracing a pattern on his lip, Harry continued to stare at her for another moment before standing back up.  “Are you coming with Ginny and me tomorrow to King’s Cross?”

Hermione instantly perked up.  “Of course I am!  I haven’t seen Rose and Hugo since September!  I can’t believe Easter is nearly here…the time just got away somehow…”

Harry laughed and shuffled over towards the door.  “Okay, Ginny and I will meet you at the Leaky Cauldron at half ten tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Harry.  See you then!”

Once she was left alone again, Hermione turned her swivel chair to face the large, but fake window.  It was charmed to show Muggle London and currently the sun was beginning to set.  In the three months since she had won her custody hearing she had heard a great many rumors about herself and Draco Malfoy.  Somehow, someone had gotten ahold of the information about her lawyer being supplied for her by Draco.  Hermione suspected it was Padma who had overheard her talking with her friends the day of the trial.  The rumor went deeper than that though; people were saying that he had bought the entire law firm her lawyer had worked for. 

Leaning over, she opened a drawer in her filing cabinet and removed a manila folder stuffed full of articles and interviews she had conducted with people regarding the matter.  Draco had been quite busy since leaving her all those months ago.  He’s invested in numerous Wizarding companies, and a few Muggle ones as well.  The paper Padma had worked for appeared to be the first of many of his new investments.  Hermione turned back to her desk and spread out her information.  Unfolding a large piece of paper, Hermione reviewed the spider-web like display that listed Draco Malfoy right in the center.  Everything was connected somehow, but she couldn’t figure out why or when it all happened. 

Letting her fingers trail over the page, Hermione couldn’t help but wonder why she even cared.  Draco was still refusing to answer her owls and every time she would somehow stumble into him in the Ministry he always vanished before she could get near him.  And now, well now the ancient Malfoy Manor was burned to the ground for good.  With a wave of her wand her office door flicked shut and Hermione fished the morning’s paper back out of the rubbish bin.  Very carefully she cut out the article about the Manor and began trying to figure out where this all fit into the grand scheme of things regarding her former patient, and lover, Draco Malfoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Steam billowed through the air as the scarlet Hogwarts Express rolled into platform 9 ¾ at King’s Cross Station.  Hermione hugged herself to keep out the early spring chill as she anticipated seeing her two lovely children once more.  As per their new custody agreement, Hermione was allowed to have Rose and Hugo for Easter, the second half of summer, and Christmas Day while Ron could have them for Christmas Eve, New Year’s Eve, and the first half of summer.  Although, once Rose’s trace was removed come graduation, she would be free to choose when and where she spent her time whether it was with her parents or any place else. 

Hermione was always surprised to see how little students came home for the spring holiday break.  It was only a week after all, and she had for the most part stayed at Hogwarts when she was a student.  This was a special occasion though, Rose and Hugo had been sending her weekly letters counting down until they were able to be with her again.  Rose was furious with her father and Hugo still didn’t fully understand what had happened, but he wanted to come home nonetheless. 

As the train came to a halt, Hermione waited next to Ginny and Harry for the students to unload.  A moment later, two red heads darted right towards her.  She immediately dropped to her knees and opened her arms to allow the two children to fall into her chest in a huge tear-filled hug.  Hermione was sobbing, but she didn’t care.  Her children were home.  Her children were safe.  They were with her.  Together. 

Hugo was the first to extract himself, embarrassingly brushing a few stray tears away.  He mumbled a simple ‘hello’ before stepping back a bit.  Hermione couldn’t help but to laugh as she stood from the ground pulling Rose along with her.  Rose was crying, not as hysterical as her mother, but there were definitely tears streaming from her eyes causing her mascara to run.  Hermione used her thumbs to clear the mess as she cradled her daughter’s face in her hands.  Finally, once all their tears had subsided, she stepped back and looked at her two children.  Rose had grown into a lovely young lady since she had last seen her.  Her wavy hair was pulled back from her face, but a few stray pieces framed it gently.  She was wearing simple makeup and dark jeans with a sea foam green jumper.  Hugo looked like he was filling out nicely, but he was wearing baggy jeans and gray hooded sweatshirt so it was difficult to tell. 

“I am so happy to see the two of you.  Did you have a nice train ride?” Hermione asked her children while trying to usher them towards the exit. 

“Hugo slept most of the time and I worked on revising for my NEWTS,” Rose answered while she took charge of her own trunk.  Hugo had the sense to look a bit sheepish at the stern, but loving look his mother shot him. 

Hermione waved to Harry, Ginny, and their children as the three of them disappeared through the exit.  “Hugo, I hope you’re taking your OWLS seriously.  You only have a few weeks left before it’s time to take them after all.”

“I am, mom.  I just wanted to nap for a bit before getting home so I can be wide awake to spend time with you!”

Hermione couldn’t really find anything wrong with that.  They stopped and picked up a pizza for lunch and made themselves comfortable at the kitchen counter.  Hermione smiled and laughed while listening to everything her children had been up to over the past seven months.  She tried not to dwell too much on the fact that she had missed out on so much with them, but rather made herself content with the fact that she was able to share these moments now. 

The afternoon slipped into evening, and before Hermione knew it the week was passing as quickly as sand through her fingers.  She, Rose, and Hugo had been having a wonderful time.  They’d went sightseeing in Muggle London, rode the London Eye, eaten lunch at Speedy’s Café, and had a lovely Easter with Harry and Ginny’s family.  It was hard to believe that in the morning her children would be getting back on the train once more.  At least she had gotten to spend time with them.

She was sitting in her windowsill reading through her small notebook.  The children had gone to bed about an hour ago and Hermione was trying to put the pieces together on her search to figuring out what Draco had been up for the past few months.  Her legs were tucked underneath her and for once it wasn’t raining outside.  She was just starting to feel a bit drowsy and thinking of going to bed when her door opened just a tiny crack.  Whipping around, she tucked the notebook behind the curtain.

“Mum?” Rose was peeking into the room, her wavy, red hair cascading into her face. “Are you still awake?” Rose was whispering as if she wasn’t sure it was okay for her to be creeping into her mother’s room so late.  Hermione giggled. 

“I’m up, Rose.  Come on in.” She gestured towards the other spot on the window seat and smiled as she watched Rose scurry into the room and plop herself down as only a teenager could.  “What can I do for you?”

Rose picked at the hem of her oversized t-shirt before looking her mother in the eye.  “I wanted to talk to you about what I want to do after Hogwarts.” Her eyes were large and bright in the light from the street lamp.  Hermione gazed at her daughter hard for a moment.  Whatever Rose was going to tell her, it had taken the girl a lot of courage to come in here to do it, so Hermione would listen.

“Okay, what do you want to do?”

“Well…” she trailed off dropping her t-shirt form her fingers.  Hermione smiled and nudged her daughter with a toe causing Rose to laugh.  “I was offered an internship with the _Daily Prophet_ and I want to take it.  I won’t be getting paid so I thought I would work part-time at the bookstore across the street.  I’ve already looked into it and I can start the Monday after I graduate.”  Rose was on a roll now just talking and fluttering her hands as she explained her hopes and dreams to her mother.  “Plus, there is a flat available just down the road and cousin James has been looking for a place too.  We thought we might be able to share the rent.”  She paused here and began picking at her shirt again.  “The only problem is that if I go through with all of this I won’t be able to go to France with daddy like he wants me to.”

So that was what was bothering her daughter.  Rose was worried about how angry Ron would be when she told him she planned on moving in near her mother instead of going on vacation to France.  Hermione slid across the way and pulled Rose into a warm hug.  She smoothed the girl’s hair away from her face and placed a kiss to her forehead.

“Rosebud, you are free to do whatever you want once you graduate.  I am not going to make you go to France with your father if that is not what you want to do.  This internship and job sound very promising.  As for moving in with James, I want to talk with Uncle Harry and Ginny first, but it sounds alright to me.  You have a plan and did your research; that’s what’s important.  I’ll support you no matter what.” 

Rose looked up into her eyes and whispered, “What is daddy going to say?”

Hermione shrugged.  “I don’t know.  He might be unhappy, but it’s your decision.  You tell him and I will back you one hundred percent.”

The two sat in silence for a while just watching the traffic go by on the Muggle street outside.  Hermione was finally starting to feel tired enough to go to bed when Rose spoke again.

“Mum?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Will you tell me what happened between you and Mr. Malfoy?”

Hermione wasn’t quite sure what to say so she didn’t which Rose must have taken as a bad thing.  “It’s only that Scorpius told me on the train home that his dad talked to him about it after the hearing was over with.”

That surprised Hermione enough to sit up straighter.  She wanted to grab her notebook and write the details about this down, but that would have to wait until Rose went back to bed.  With a sigh she closed her eyes and opened up the walls she had built around her heart.  If Rose wanted the truth, then who was she to keep it from her.  Besides, her daughter was a journalist in the making, she would no doubt find the answers she wanted one way or another. 

“Listen Rose, what happened between Draco and I is really quite simple.  We were two people that had a past together, and although that past was not the best, we found a way to forgive one another for everything.  We found each other when we least expected it and we were exactly what the other one needed without even realizing it.  I was there during one of the darkest periods of his life.  I helped Draco find himself, and in the process I fell in love with him…and I think that he fell in love with me too.  Somehow, loving him, even though we are not together, I was able to find a way out of my darkness and back into the light.  I’m not sure exactly how he managed to help me without being here at all, but he did.”

Rose stared at her with wide eyes rimmed with unshed tears.  “Mum, that is the most romantic thing I have ever heard.”

Hermione stared at her daughter.  “Romantic?”

“Of course!”

“I think it sounds pathetic…” Hermione ran a hand through her tangled hair and glanced back out the window.  She had spent so much time sitting here this past year that it was her most treasured place and she couldn’t help but feel nostalgic.  All the memories of Draco came rushing back to her and she couldn’t hold back the sob that escaped her throat.

“Oh, mum, don’t cry.  Everything will work out.  You’re going to be fine.”  Rose ran her hand in gentle circles over Hermione’s back.  Hermione hated that her own daughter had to comfort her. 

“I’m sorry, Rose.  I really have been a lot better recently.  I didn’t mean to cry like that.”

“It’s okay.  I know I brought it up.  I’m the one who should apologize.”  Neither said anything for a while just sitting quietly as Hermione composed herself once more.  The night was growing older and Hermione was just about to tell her daughter to go to bed when Rose spoke up.

“One more thing, mum, before I go to bed…”

“Hmmmm?”

“Hugo told me he wants to visit grandma and grandpa in Australia…”

“ _This_ summer?”

“He’s already sent an owl and heard back from them.”

“Shit.”

“Mum!” Rose laughed and playfully slapped Hermione on the arm.

“Sorry, but why did he think that was a good idea…well it is, but your father is going to be livid.”

Rose shrugged and stood up from her perch on the window seat.  “He wants to stay with them most of the summer.  Apparently Hugo wants to work with the magical beasts after he graduates and there is a program he wants to check out while he’s down under.”

Hermione put her face in her hand.  “You sure know how to stress your mother out before bed.”  Arms wrapped around her shoulders and she turned so she could hug Rose more properly.  “I’m fine, now get to bed.  We have a train to catch in the morning.”

Rose kissed the top of her mother’s head and scurried from the room, leaving Hermione to her own thoughts before she too fell into bed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Hugo and Rose stood in front of Hermione as their mother checked, and double checked, that they had packed everything and were prepared to get back on the Hogwarts Express to finish the rest of the year.  Hugo looked embarrassed but allowed his mother to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  When it was Rose’s turn to say goodbye, the girl threw her arms around her mother and held her in a hard embrace.

“I am going to miss you so much!  I can’t wait to be home for good so I can see you all the time!” Rose let go of Hermione and gave her a wink.

Laughing, Hermione nudged her daughter on the shoulder with her hand.  “You just make sure you make your plans clear to your father or he’ll have me in court again in a heartbeat.” She turned towards her son and gave him a stern look.  “That goes for you too, mister.  I have no problem with you spending the summer in Sydney, but your father is going to have something entirely different to say about that.  You’re still under the trace for two more years.”

Hugo grumbled, but Rose looped her arm through her brother’s and smiled.  “We’ll make sure to owl him right away when we get the chance.  I promise we’ll both make sure daddy knows our plans for the summer.”

“Alright then, you two.  Get on the train and have a good rest of the semester!  I’ll see you in June, Rose.  And Hugo, I’ll see you in August.  Make sure you write me often!  I might even take a trip to Sydney myself,” Hermione added with a wink as she playfully pushed her two children towards the open train door.  She managed to sneak one last kiss on the cheek to the both of them and then they were on the train ready to go.  The whistle sounded loudly and the train began to move.  Stepping backwards away from the track, Hermione watched as it gained speed and made its way out of the station. 

Once the train was out of sight, Hermione looked around.  Harry and Ginny had already headed back to work it seemed.  Hermione managed to get the day off so she planned on doing some shopping.  Taking out her notebook she began flipping through looking for her list as she made her way through the small crowd.  She was nearly to the barrier when she slammed into someone.  Her notebook fell to the ground and she immediately bent over to get it an apology already forming on her lips.

“Oh!  I am so sorry!  I was reading instead of watching where I was going.” She was trying to tuck the little notebook back into her purse.

“That’s nothing new, Granger.”

Her head whipped up at the figure in front of her.  She knew that gravelly voice—but it was still a shock to the system.

“Draco…”  Hermione’s brain just couldn’t believe what her eyes were seeing…and honestly, her heart was having a difficult time functioning as well.  It had been so damn long since the last time she had been this close to Draco.  It had been even longer since he had last spoken to her.  He was staring down at her with a fire in his eyes that she had only seen once before, and it made her heart beat even faster. 

“I have to get back to work, Granger.  If you’ll excuse me.”  He made to move around her, but Hermione turned and quickly caught his arm with her hand.  He stopped and looked into her eyes and for a split second Hermione thought he might lean down and kiss her; but just as fast at the look appeared it had gone again.

“I just have to ask if you’re okay.”

He sighed and stopped trying to get away so she let go of his arm.  “I’m fine but I really am running late.”

“Why did you do it?  Pay for my lawyer, I mean?”  She looked him dead in his molten silver eyes and prayed to Merlin he would cave and give her the answers she’d been craving.

Instead of answering her question, he let his shoulders sag and she was able to see the sadness and pain in his eyes and face before he simply mumbled, “I’m glad you won the custody trial, Hermione.”  She was so shocked by his change in demander that she couldn’t stop him as he turned and swept through the barrier back out into the Muggle world once again leaving her alone.

Her hand came up to rest on her heart as if that could stop the ache she felt growing inside of her again.  it felt as if it was slowly seeping through her veins and dragging her down.  Someone appeared at her side, and without even turning to look she knew it would be Harry.  It was always Harry.  She let him put his arm around her shoulders and guide her through the barrier.  King’s Cross seemed so quiet but that could just be from the loud buzzing she was hearing in her ears.  Harry led her to a small café nearby and sat her at a table before going to order tea.  A minute later he sat down across from her and handed her the styrofoam cup.  Hermione enjoyed the scalding hot breakfast blend and let her mind return to normal.  After some time she looked up to find Harry watching her.  He blinked and she sighed.

“Something is not right with Draco.”

“He’s heartbroken.”

Feeling her chest clench, Hermione sputtered at her best friend.  “What are you talking about?”

Taking his glasses off, Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed at his eyes.  He then replaced the black frames where they belonged and looked her in the eye.  “I went to see him after I found you broken.”

Suddenly she was angry.  Harry had gone behind her back and talked to Draco without even telling her and he had kept it from her for _months_!  She knew Harry could tell she was getting angry and he held up his hand so that she would let him finish speaking.  Hermione crossed her arms and realized she was still wearing her parka, so she shrugged it off while Harry collected his thoughts.  When she had settled back in her chair, Harry continued. 

“Look, I went to him because I couldn’t ask you what happened.  You were too fragile and I didn’t want to set you off again.  I needed to know what happened so I could help you.  What Malfoy told me surprised the hell out of me…not to mention all the shit I’ve found out since then.”  Harry chuckled and sipped his tea.  “He bought the law firm your lawyer worked for and then had his best family lawyer take over your case.  He also bought the paper and chain that Padma worked for and had her transferred to Paris.  He wrote that love letter—I mean _Character Reference_ that helped swing the Wizengamot towards allowing you custody of your children.  _Merlin_ , Hermione, he even bought the Muggle hospital where we attend our AA meetings and you have your therapy sessions so he could make sure that you were getting the best treatment possible.  I even heard that he’s been working on starting a rehabilitation center for the Wizarding community to help treat witches and wizards with depression.”  Harry sat back and pushed his empty cup aside as he threw his hands into the air.  “Malfoy may have left you, but he’s been working his pureblood _arse_ off trying to make sure that you would be taken care of.  If it wasn’t for him, I think we would have lost you…and you would have lost Rose and Hugo.”

Hermione didn’t know what to say.  She was stunned into silence.  All she could hear in her head was that damn buzzing and all the information Harry had just given her clashed with the information she’d bene compiling in her notebook.  It all made sense now.  Everything pointed back to her…everything Draco had been working on for months came back to _her_!  All of the charity functions…the Muggle investments and the paper Padma worked for.  All this time she thought he had abandoned her, but in reality he had been there all along.

Hermione stood abruptly, knocking back her chair.  She didn’t say anything as she donned her parka and stormed from the café.  Once outside she ran down the street until she made it to the red phone booth that would take her inside St. Mungo’s.  Entering the correct number, she watched as the street faded away and the hospital lobby came into view.  The sounds and smells were just the same as she remembered.  Instead of stopping at the main nurse’s station, she walked deeper into the hospital until she reached the ER.  Sure enough, Abigail was at the desk filing paperwork and checking in patients.  It was almost as if Hermione had never left.

Squaring her shoulders, Hermione walked right up to her friend and attempted to smile.  Abigail glanced up from the form she was signing and burst into laughter at seeing her friend.  “Hermione Granger!  I thought I’d never see you here again!  Are you here to clean out your office finally?”

Cleaning out her office was the last thing from her mind, but she glanced at the door that used to be her office.  Sure enough, the small space looked just as she had left it all those months ago.  “I didn’t realize it was still full of my things…”

Abigail stood and came out from behind the desk, tucking her long, dark hair behind her ears.  “Don’t you fret, Hermione.  I stuck a bunch of extra boxes in there for you.  We can have you packed up in no time.  I’m surprised you got here so quickly, I only just sent the owl this morning that Devon wanted your office cleared out.”

“Honestly, I haven’t even gotten the letter…I just sort of ended up here.” Hermione was shocked that the day’s events were shaping out the way they were. 

“Really?” Abigail looked startled by this news but didn’t say anything else.  She began folding boxes and helping Hermione sort through her old office.  Hermione almost forgot why she was here at all.  Almost.

Once the office was cleared of her belongings, Hermione shrunk everything down and tucked it inside her purse where her hand brushed against the notebook she had been mapping out Draco’s current life.  She turned and gave Abigail a hug as they stood in the doorway of her empty office.  “Look, Abigail, I’m glad I came today since they were going to throw all of my stuff away, but I actually came to ask you an important question.”

Putting her hands on her hips, Abigail smiled and said, “Ask away, my friend.”

“I was wondering if you could look up Draco Malfoy and see if he’s been attending his therapy sessions.”  She watched as the smile dropped from her friend’s face.  “I already know that it’s going against a million different laws and regulations about privacy—I worked here for years, but I saw him today and something just didn’t sit right for me.  He looked off somehow.”  She reached forward and grasped Abigail’s hands in her own.  “Can you do this for me?  I need it—for closure.”

The dark haired woman stared at her for a long moment before Hermione saw the resolution in her eyes.  “Well, alright, but just this once…and you can’t tell a soul!  I don’t want to lose my job!”

“Oh, of course not…here use my filing cabinet.”  She gestured at the small medical filing cabinet that was still perched on her old desk.  Abigail shut the door before going over and tapping the top with her wand four times.  She then opened the cabinet and withdrew a file.  She scanned the papers inside and then replaced it inside before turning her attention back to Hermione. 

She sighed and shook her head.  “I’m sorry, Hermione.  He hasn’t been back for therapy in a few months.”

Closing her eyes to force the tears to stay away, Hermione turned and opened the door.  She knew something was wrong.  He spent all his time worrying about her and had lost track of himself again.  If he wasn’t careful he’d enter the darkness and never come out of it.  Only a week ago he had burned the entire Malfoy Manor to the ground.  Despite the fact that she knew he had purchased a new manor, he had done something drastically destructive.  Who was to say he wouldn’t do it again…but to himself this time.  He definitely had a history of doing just that. 

Turning to look over her shoulder, Hermione smiled sadly at Abigail.  “Thank you for doing that.  I really appreciate it.  I’ll talk to you soon.  Text me sometime, okay?”

Abigail gave her a sad look but agreed she would keep in touch.  Hermione left the hospital in worse spirits than she had been in quite some time. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Two days later and Hermione was still dwelling on the fact that Draco had done everything to help her get her life back together while neglecting himself.  Now that her map had led her to this discovery, she couldn’t seem to stop thinking about it.  For months she had been able to push Draco bloody Malfoy to the back burner of her thoughts, but now that she had her life back together, she wanted to make sure he did too.  It was why she wrote the letter.  The letter that was now sitting on her desk.  It had been returned.

Harry had told her it was a bad idea and that it would only hurt her feelings, but she’d gone and sent it anyway.  Honestly she wasn’t surprised it had been returned unopened.  It was garbage and she was glad he never read it.  Romantic would be how her daughter described what she’d written.  Embarrassed is how she felt now.  She didn’t regret sending it though.  She felt better having written her thoughts down, but she probably should not have sent this letter.

Sighing, Hermione picked the letter up and tore the seal open.  Draco hadn’t read it, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t sit here and read it again just to make sure she had got down exactly what she needed to.

  _Draco,_

_This is a long time coming, and I apologize for that.  Here I have been for the past three months enjoying my life knowing that my children were able to see me again and that I have a good position at the Ministry, all while you have been out there working your ass off behind my back.  Harry has filled me in about everything that you’ve been doing.  I am astounded, flattered, and can barely contain my tears.  I am so full of thankfulness right now that I cannot even express it in words either verbally or here on paper.  When I saw you the other day I barely managed the simple thank you I spoke…I wanted to say so much more but didn’t know how.  It was then that I noticed your eyes, Draco.  Your eyes that are like the windows to your soul…they looked sad, defeated, and haunted.  I worry about you.  I know that you are forgetting yourself and not going to your therapy sessions.  Please go back.  Please do not let all the work we did go to waste.  I appreciate every single minute you have spent building an empire to protect me, but you have to rest now.  You have to take time for yourself.  I know that you think we can’t be together, and maybe you are right…but that doesn’t mean I can’t convince you to go back to your therapy sessions.  Please, do this one last thing for me…because this is what I want to do for you.  If I can’t be there with you, then at least be there for yourself and know that I love you._

_Hermione_

She folded the letter back up and slid it into the envelope once more.  Pulling out her notebook, she tucked the unread letter inside hoping that maybe one day Draco might actually get to read it.  Hermione could only pray that Draco would do what he needed to do.  Luckily, she had put the notebook away just as the door to her office banged opened.  Hermione let out a small yelp at the suddenness of it all. 

Standing in the doorway, her ex-husband looked livid.  His cheeks were as red as his hair and mustache.  Before she could even open her mouth, Ron was towering over the desk between them, eyes flashing in anger.  “What the bloody hell do you think you’re playing at?!  How dare you tell my children they can do whatever they want for the summer!  Do you forget that I have visiting rights for the first half?”

“Of course I didn’t, Ronald,” Hermione replied while rolling her eyes.  “I think that _you_ forgot _our_ daughter, Rose, will be old enough to decide what _she_ wants to do.  She’s decided she wants to get a job and accept an internship.  I am in no way going to stop her from following her dreams.   As for Hugo, he hasn’t seen his grandparents in a few years.  Why shouldn’t he be allowed to visit them?  I had nothing to do with him planning the trip; he did it all on his own behind my back.  I’m not going to stop him and that is why I told him to talk to you about it.”

Ron paced back and forth in front of her desk for a minute before he seemed to calm down.  “So you really didn’t have anything to do with this?”

“No…do you think I want to lose custody again?”  She gave him a look that clearly showed how fed up she was with the entire situation.

The pacing stopped, and Ron turned to face her once again but in much calmer mood.  He stared at her face for a beat as if trying to decide if she was lying or not.  “Okay, well then I am sorry for barging in here like that.”  His resolve crumpled and he collapsed into the chair.  “I’m really sorry for how things have been this past year.  I know we didn’t end our marriage on good terms, but I can see now that it was my fault too.  I am going to ask Padma to marry me, and I guess I just want to make sure it’s okay with you.  I loved you most of my life, Hermione and I don’t want us to fight anymore.”

Hermione was rather shocked by the turn of events since Ron had flown into the office.  It was now her turn to try and decide whether or not he was being truthful.  She decided it didn’t matter because this man had been her best friend and lover for far more years than he was her ex-husband.  She reached across and patted his arm.  “Ron, it will take some time, but I think that maybe someday we can go back to being the friends we used to be.”  It was enough for now.  She could manage that at least.

“Thank you, Hermione.”  He gave her a smile and left the office as abruptly as he had entered, but with much less dramatics.  Hermione decided that it was time to end her day. 

Just as she was packing up her belongings and slinging her purse over her shoulder, her phone beeped.  Freeing the small device from her purse, Hermione slid her finger over the screen.  It was a text message from Abigail. It said only one short sentence:

_He’s just arrived for a therapy session with Ernie._

Hermione smiled to herself as she tucked the phone away once more.  It appeared her letter did what she wanted it to whether Draco read it or not.  Feeling slightly better, Hermione left the Ministry and went home unsure of what the future held for her…and Draco. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


	14. Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
>  “Then I'll see your face, I know I'm finally yours.  
> I find everything I thought I lost before.  
> You call my name, I come to you in pieces,  
> So you can make me whole.”  
> —Red  
> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that made me want to write this story. I hope that I do it justice as it’s been in my head for so long…four long years and this fic is finally coming to an end. Please remember that this is the last chapter but there is an epilogue. The way this one ends is wide open so I want you to know the epilogue will explain everything. I recommend listening to Pieces by Red as you read this as the song is what inspired the main scene. I honestly should have named this fic Pieces, but Letting it all Go just went better with the theme. Anyway, enjoy my loves…and review!

Yawning, Hermione winced at the cracking sound her jaw made.  She had been up late finishing the testimony for her trial this morning.  She’d gone to bed only two hours before the sun had risen and was already awake at half seven and stepping out of the lift to her floor at the Ministry.  Granted, there were other Ministry workers there as well, but not many.  Walking to her office with coffee in hand, she began running through her speech to the Wizengamot in her head.  Today was the day she’d been waiting for since starting back at with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.  Today, she would be proposing her bill to eliminate all blood status laws for good.  The _Daily Prophet_ had said she was _bold and brilliant_ and that she would _change the Wizarding world as they knew it_.  All in all, everything seemed rather promising. 

If only she could stay awake long enough to make it to the trial at nine.  She knew there wasn’t much to worry about as most of the more pressing blood purity laws had been disbanded years ago, but there were still a few that caused loopholes to arise.  After today, hopefully, that wouldn’t be an issue any longer.  Getting settled at the mahogany desk in her office, Hermione set her cup down and opened her file folder to where she’d left off last night.  Harry had mentioned yesterday how she was overdoing it, but that was who she was.  Today was an important day and she wasn’t going to let anyone down.

Speaking of letting people down…Rose would be covering the trial as her first large writing piece for her internship at the _Prophet_.  Hermione definitely didn’t want to make a fool out of herself in front of her daughter, and she didn’t want Rose to become the laughing stock at the paper because her mother had failed.  Hermione had been working many cases since Chapman had promoted her, but this was a big one—it was a make it or break it sort of case.  Besides, Rose had been doing so well at her internship that her mother really didn’t want to ruin it for her. 

Sure enough, after Rose had returned home for the summer, she and James had moved into a flat right near Diagon Alley.  James was working at Gringott’s and Rose took a part time job at Flourish and Blott’s so she could earn money during her internship with the _Daily Prophet_.  Hugo had gone right to Sydney to visit her parents.  Hermione rather enjoyed all the post cards she’d been receiving from him.  She planned on visiting sometime in August before he returned home to prepare for his sixth year at Hogwarts. 

Ron and Padma had gotten engaged and were planning a winter wedding at the moment.  Hermione had even managed to tell the two congratulations while they were all together moving Rose and James into their new flat.  Padma had been a bit cool towards her, but when Ron showed he was being civil, she had changed her tune.  Hermione suspected Ron and Padma would be moving to Paris permanently within the next year which as fine with her.  As long as Padma refrained from writing any more scathing articles about her, she didn’t care where she ended up. 

All in all, it appeared as if life was returning to normal for Hermione.  It was hard to believe that it was almost a year since she had taken Draco into her home and her heart.  Every day was a struggle with her alcoholism and her heartache…but she was surviving.  She was doing just as Harry had taught her—taking it one day at a time.  If she kept doing that then nothing could stop her from finding happiness. 

According to Abigail, who Hermione had started meeting for lunch every Friday, Draco was continuing his therapy.  Hermione wasn’t sure how these sessions were going because Abigail didn’t legally have access to the files, but at least he was attending them.  Hermione truly hoped that Draco found the peace and happiness he deserved.  Harry insisted that they were meant to be with each other and that Draco was just being stubborn, but Hermione thought maybe it was for the best.  She and Ron had settled their differences but who was to say that he wouldn’t change his mind if Draco came back into her life.  She couldn’t risk it and she knew Draco wouldn’t let her.  He had broken her into pieces when he left, but she’d gotten herself back together with the help of her family and friends…and a bit of strategical maneuvering from the Slytherin king himself.  No, at this point Hermione was convinced she would be alone for the rest of her life. 

A knock on the door brought Hermione out of her train of thought and back into the present.  She closed her folder and smiled when she saw Rose in the doorway.  “Come in, Rose.  I was just thinking about you.”  She gestured towards the plush chair across from her and then put her folders and papers into her briefcase.  Rose came in and sat down in the chair a bit roughly.  Hermione scanned her daughter’s features and decided she must be a bit nervous considering the green tinge she had.  “You’re going to be fine.  Just make sure to write down all the important events that and quotes that happen.”

Rose leaned forward, placing her face in her delicate hands.  “Oh, mum, what if I miss something and screw up my entire article?”

Hermione had to laugh.  “Well, if that happens you can just ask me for an interview.  I’ll fill in any blank spots you may have.”  The green tinge seemed to dissipate from her daughter’s cheeks at the proposition of a one-on-one interview with such an esteemed Ministry official.  Rumor was that Chapman was retiring at the end of the year and she would be up for his position.  It was just a rumor though…

“Really?  You wouldn’t mind?  I’d use one of those note-taking quills but I’m always so afraid they’re going to miss something or misquote someone.”

“Of course…and don’t use those quills.  You remember the horror stories Uncle Harry and I told you about Rita Skeeter, don’t you?”

Her daughter groaned but cracked a smile that finally made her face light back up like her mother was used to.  “Oh yes!  The famous beetle!”

Hermione laughed as well and tapped her coffee with her wand to warm it back up.  “You’re going to be a fantastic journalist, darling.  I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but you will get there eventually.  Don’t forget that your Aunt Ginny writes her Quidditch column and can help you out as well.  I’ve never been much of a journalist but I am excellent when it comes to presenting the facts, or so they say.”

“You’re the smartest witch I know, mum.  Don’t be so silly.”  Rose stood up and smoothed out her pale blue work robes.  She looked so professional with her quill behind her ear and her hair pulled back into a simple pony tail.  Hermione felt a twinge of pride that her daughter was graduated from Hogwarts and on her way to becoming a journalist for one of the most prestigious papers in the Wizarding world.  Life just kept on moving no matter what, didn’t it?

Looking at the clock on the wall, Hermione saw that it was nearing quarter to nine.  “We should be heading downstairs.  The trial will start at exactly nine.”  Hermione stood and grabbed her briefcase and ushered her nervous daughter to the door.  Hermione knew she should be nervous as well, but she didn’t want to alarm Rose. 

Once in the lift, Rose turned to her mother and gave her a strange look.  Hermione quirked an eyebrow and asked, “What is it, Rose?”

“I was just wondering if Mr. Malfoy was going to be there this morning.  He was elected onto the Wizengamot last week, wasn’t he?”

Raising her eyebrows at her daughter, Hermione anxiously tucked a stray curl behind her ear.  “See, you are going to be an excellent journalist.  You’re already digging up the facts.”

“That didn’t answer my question, mum.  You’re on your way to becoming an excellent politician.”

“Honestly, I’m not sure if he will be there or not.  I know there is a waiting period once you get elected, but seeing as Mr. Sheppard passed away last month, he could be on the stands.”  Hermione internally hoped that he wouldn’t be there as that would make her want to focus on him rather than the case at hand.  It wasn’t because of the feelings she knew she had for the man, but rather that she would want to inspect him.  She had been a Healer for many years, after all.

Rose didn’t say anything more about the issue as the lift arrived and they existed into the hallway.  Hermione gave Rose an encouraging smile as she joined the other journalists waiting to be let into the courtroom.  Hermione went over to the side door where just seven months ago she had waited before her custody hearing.  Today would be a breeze compared to that fiasco.  At exactly one minute to nine, the doors opened and the short bald man that had been there before beckoned her inside. 

Just as Hermione was stepping inside the courtroom, her phone beeped.  Quickly grabbing it from the pocket of her robe, she glanced at the screen.  It was a missed call from Abigail.  Hermione silenced the phone and put it away.  Abigail probably just wanted to wish her luck.  That was all…

Once inside Hermione looked around the cold, dark room and found her daughter sitting on the right side with the other reporters.  She flashed her another smile which her daughter returned.  She then set about preparing her folders to begin her case.  The short bald man announced the Wizengamot was ready for her to state her case.  Hermione turned her head slowly from side to side to see who was in attendance.  Sure enough it looked as if everyone that had been voted in recently was there…all except for one.  Draco’s assigned chair was empty.  Taking a deep breath, Hermione pushed her worries away, rationalizing that he probably did not come because he didn’t want to upset her.  Swallowing back the anxious feeling that had suddenly crept to her throat, Hermione put on a brave, smiling face and began the trial.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Nearly three hours later, Hermione was finally finished stating her case, hearing the verdict (she won), and answering the questions from the press which included a one-on-one interview with her daughter.  Everything had gone according to plan and the Wizengamot had gladly voted mostly in favor of abolishing all remaining pureblood supremacy laws.  The Wizarding world, at least in the UK, would be one-hundred percent free of any former prejudice when it came to following the laws.  Hermione couldn’t get the smile off her face as she said goodbye to her co-workers and the press before heading towards the lift.  

She didn’t even remember the missed call from Abigail until she reached her office where she found Harry waiting with a congratulatory latte.  She took the latte and the immature high-five that was offered with it before pulling her phone out and setting it on her desk. 

“Congratulations, Soon-to-be-Head-of-the-Department-of-Magical-Law-Enforcement,” Harry said and then grimaced.  “That’s a horribly long title, don’t you think?”

Hermione gave a short bark of laughter as she plopped down into her chair.  “Just a bit.”  She then sighed and let her head fall back against the chair.  “I feel like a million galleons right now.  I just can’t believe it was almost a unanimous vote.  I really thought some of the old school purebloods would have wanted to keep things as they were.”

Sipping his own coffee, Harry waved her statement away.  “Come on, Hermione, of course they weren’t.  The world has changed a lot since Tom’s demise.  They know it just as well as we do.  If they didn’t agree to the changed laws now, you would just keep pestering them for years.  Besides, most of the old codgers that were on the Wizengamot who would have wanted to keep purebloods in power have passed away or retired.”

Nodding in agreement Hermione smiled as she spoke, “True.  Thank you for the latte, Harry, but I might actually take an early day and go home and sleep.  I didn’t get more than three hours last night, if that, and I could really use the rest right now.”

“More coffee for me then.”  Harry stuck out his tongue as he snagged the cup off her desk and held it close to his chest.  Hermione couldn’t help the peel of laughter that escaped her throat and her smile only grew when Harry joined in.  It felt good to smile.  It felt good to laugh.  It felt great to be _happy_.  The happy feeling wouldn’t last, though, for Hermione reached for the phone she’d set on the desk.

“Oh, thank you for that, Harry.  I needed a good laugh.”  She frowned as she noticed that she not only had one missed call from Abigail, but _five_.  She sat up a bit straighter and scrolled to her text messages.  There was only one that read ‘ _call me ASAP’_.  Hermione gave Harry a worried look.

“What is it, ‘Mione?” Harry had leaned forward and stopped victory dancing in the chair with the two cups of coffee. 

Swallowing dryly, she looked up at her friend.  “I have five missed calls from Abigail and a text to call her as soon as possible.”

“Go ahead, then,” he said setting the coffee down and paying full attention to his friend.  He crossed one leg over his knee and watched patiently as she hit the send button.  He then reached forward, plucked the phone from her hand, and put it on speaker before setting it on the desk between them.  Hermione mouthed thank you as the ringing filled the silence of her office.

Abigail picked up after the second ring.  Hermione could hear the hospital sounds in the background as her friend breathed into the phone.  “Hermione?  Thank Merlin!  I’ve been trying to reach you all morning!”

“What’s wrong, Abigail?  I was in a hearing.” Hermione gave Harry a panicked look to which he shrugged in reply.

“It’s Draco Malfoy.  He’s been at the hospital all morning pestering Ernie about having a session with him.  Ernie had department meetings all day though so no one can see him.  It’s bad Hermione…he threw a chair through Ernie’s office window.”  Someone shouted Abigail’s name in the background.  “Look, Hermione, I have to go, but I think you should come down here…I’ll talk to you later.”  The line went dead and Hermione reached for the phone and clutched it to her chest.

“I have to get down there!” She made to get up from her chair but Harry put his hand up.

“No, listen, there’s nothing you can do.  He’s upset but he’ll calm down as soon as Ernie is done with his meetings.  It’s not like you’re a registered Healer anymore.  Your license was revoked remember?  Besides, I don’t want you to get hurt…again.”

Hermione slumped in her chair as her heart clenched as if it was in an angry vice.  Panic was starting to take over and the only thought in her head was ‘ _GET TO THE HOSPITAL_ ’.  She had to think this through though; would Draco even want her there?  Was this why he wasn’t at the trial this morning?  Maybe she should stay and let the Healers take care of it?  But…but what if Draco did something more drastic than just throwing a chair through a window?

She shook her head with conviction.  “No, Harry I’m going down there.  He needs me even if he doesn’t realize or want my help.”  She stood and pocketed her phone.  Harry just watched as she breezed through the doorway and to the stairs.  Hermione wasn’t wasting time waiting on the lift, so she took the stairs down two at a time all the while slipping in her expensive pumps.  Why didn’t she wear flats today of all days?  The flats had worked perfectly the last time she’d had to do this.  Pushing open the doors to the Atrium, Hermione set off at a flat out run to the floo network fireplaces.  Finding the closest unused one, Hermione shouted ‘St. Mungo’s’ and was on her way whirling through the green flames. 

In her haste, she nearly toppled onto the floor when she arrived.  Not caring about the soot on her skirt-suit, she ran for the ER.  The first thing she did was check the chair in the waiting area where Draco would sometimes sit for hours at a time when she had worked here.  He wasn’t there—only a handful of witches and wizards were loitering about waiting to be seen.  Hermione turned her attention to the nurse’s station only to throw her hands up in frustration.  No one was there either.  In a rage, Hermione tore past the desk and down the hall to the room where Astoria had died.  Luckily no one was in there and it looked undisturbed.  Backtracking out of the room Hermione was just about to head up to the Therapy floor when she spotted Abigail coming out of the on call room.

“Abigail,” she called out before making her way towards her friend, her heels clicking against the polished floor of the hallway.  Abigail turned at hearing her name, dark hair flicking about her shoulders.  Her face brightened, and then fell at seeing Hermione there. 

“Oh, Hermione, you’re here.  I was hoping you would come.  It’s been awful…”

“Where is he?”  Hermione didn’t want to talk—she wanted to know where Draco was so she could talk him down and take him home…if that was what _he_ wanted.

Abigail turned towards the waiting area.  “He was over there…” She frowned again and crossed her arms.  “Maybe Ernie has him upstairs.  Let me just call there quickly.” She went to the desk and picked up the interdepartmental phone.  A moment later Ernie must have picked up.  “Ernie?  Is he there?  No…well Hermione is here.  No, she was looking for him.  Of course I called her.”  She was quiet for a moment and Hermione suspected Ernie was ranting about the fact that she was there in the hospital looking for his patient.  “Okay, I’ll tell her.  See you shortly.” She hung up and turned to face Hermione once more.  “He said to wait here.  He wants to talk to you.”

“I don’t have time for this!” Hermione was seething and she immediately felt bad at how uncomfortable her friend was looking.  The poor woman was biting her lip and giving her this sad look.  Hermione tried to relax but it was impossible.  Something was wrong and Hermione could feel it in her stomach…her heart. 

“I know…but Ernie will be right—actually there he is now.” Abigail was pointing behind Hermione, so she whipped around and walked towards the short, stout man.

“Ernie, I don’t really have time for idle chit-chat, so you either tell me where Draco is or I get security on it.” She narrowed her eyes at her old coworker and hoped he would play along. 

Ernie’s smug face crumpled and he crossed his arms in front of his chest.  “You don’t have the authority to do that anymore, Hermione.”

Swallowing back the scathing remark she had planned, she changed gears.  “Look, Draco was here and now we can’t find him…just tell us where he is and we’ll be on our way.  He’s obviously in distress and in need of his therapist which happens to be _you_.”  This was taking too long.  Draco could be a danger to himself the longer they waited. 

Ernie smirked at her, and not in the sexy way Draco did either.  He leaned forward and spoke very softly with a voice that made the hair stand up on her arms.  “Listen here, Hermione, that man is a lost cause.  He won’t take his therapy seriously and is constantly fighting me about getting put on medication to help his depression because it ‘makes him feel numb’.  Personally, I think the guy could use a bit of numbing.  He spends way too much time dwelling on the past.  His wife died…get over it.  Maybe he would take my therapy seriously if I let him _fuck_ me like you did.”

Abigail gasped and Hermione just stared at the man before her as she slowly narrowed her eyes.  She felt all the blood leave her head and she pulled her arm back, forming a fist as she went.  The next second she had let out the most guttural sound she had ever heard (and she had given birth twice) and thrown everything she had into the punch that slammed into Ernie’s fat little face.  She felt his nose give way under her knuckles and watched in satisfaction as he tumbled backwards into the nurse’s station.  Abigail screeched and covered her mouth with both hands.  Hermione simply shook out her now bruised one before reaching out to grab Ernie’s bloodied Healer coat.

“Tell me where Draco is now or so help me.” She was deathly calm and Ernie’s terrified eyes indicated he realized she was not in a playing mood.  He tried to get free of her grip, so she let go and watched as he tried to right himself all the while using a hand to stem the flow of blood from his nose.

“He went towards the staircase…probably the roof.”

Hermione turned towards Abigail.  “Go to Devon.  Tell him what this fool just said and make sure to be clear that he delayed giving information that could potentially have caused a patient harm.”

“I’ll go right now…hurry, Hermione!”

Hermione hardly heard her friend as she had already taken off for the staircase.

“ _Hold on, Draco…I’m on my way…_ ”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Dark clouds were rolling in as Draco stared out at London from the rooftop of St. Mungo’s.  It had been nearly a year since the last time he’d found himself alone up here.  His fists were clenched and he ground his teeth together as he thought about what had happened since that fateful day.  Walking forward, he let his fists come undone.  The wind whipped his long, blond hair out of his eyes as he came to stop mere feet from the ledge.  Here he was again—alone.  Of course it didn’t have to end this way…he could turn around and walk back inside and wait _patiently_ for his idiot Healer to talk him down again.

Draco snorted at the hilarity of it all.  Macmillan was a subpar Healer at best and he spent more time asking questions about Hermione than attempting to help Draco come to terms with what had happened.  Sighing, he let his head drop forward causing his hair to tumble into his face once more.  How was he supposed to find a way to put himself back together again when he’d had to give up the one thing that kept him from falling apart?  Macmillan didn’t understand him.  Hell, _he_ didn’t even understand _himself_.

Hermione did though.

The wind picked up again, and Draco rubbed his hands up his bare forearms.  His white button-up shirt was rolled to his elbows.  Surprisingly, his once scarred and cut forearms were clean and clear.  The day he’d left Hermione he’d made a promise to never cut again…and he’d kept his promise.  The temptation was still there, but by throwing himself into his work, the nagging for the blade had been silenced.  Until today that was…

Last night he’d held the opening gala for the Wizarding depression clinic he’d worked so hard on these past few months.  All his work was finally coming to an end.  Hermione had her children.  She had an excellent position in the Ministry.  She was healing.  She was happy.  And then there was Draco…he had nothing.

When he’d woken up this morning the only thing he could think about was the razor blade he still had hidden under the sink in his new bathroom.  Instead of going for that sharp little menace, Draco had gotten dressed and ready for his first trial as a member of the Wizengamot.  Upon arriving at the Ministry, however, he couldn’t suppress the urge to hurt himself so he had turned right back around and come straight here.  Only, Macmillan had been unable to see him and had not so nicely said he wouldn’t be available all day.  Damn that man to _hell_.  The one bloody time he actually had to come in without an appointment and the man couldn’t make the time to see him. 

Draco actually felt quite bad about scaring that nice dark haired nurse when he’d thrown the chair through Ernie’s office window.  It wasn’t _her_ fault Hermione didn’t pick up her phone.  After all, she was about to start the trial the entire future of her career would be based off of.  After that fiasco, security had wanted to make him leave, but the dark haired nurse talked them into letting him stay.  He’d sat in that waiting area for _hours_ …When the pain and anxiety became too much to bear he’d started walking.  Low and behold he’d found himself up here on this bloody roof once more. 

Opening his eyes, Draco lifted his leg clad in expensive black trousers, and placed his foot tentatively on the ledge.  When the old rubble didn’t give way, he stepped up so he was standing on the very narrow ledge.  Not quite ready to look down just yet, Draco closed his eyes and lifted his head to the sky.  The wind was fearsome and he suspected rain would come soon enough…maybe it could help wipe away all the pain and fear he felt.  He had tried so hard, so damn hard to keep his depression away since he left Hermione.  As it turned out she was the only thing holding him together.  Without her he was lost.  Without her, he was just _broken_ …

Slowly, Draco spread his arms wide like he was about to fly into oblivion…and maybe he was.  His eyes were still closed, his face tilted upwards, but he felt the power of the wind all around him.  The wind would guide him through this.  All he had to do was let himself go.  All the pain from the past.  All the pain he was feeling now.  He just had to let it all go. Inhaling deeply, Draco felt the first raindrop hit his cheek, cold as ice.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Faster.  _Faster_.  Hermione was running faster than she had in her entire life.  She was running faster than during the Final Battle.  She couldn’t breathe but she kept on going knowing that reaching Draco was a matter of life or death.  She knew in her bones that he was going to jump.  He was really going to do it this time and no one would be there to talk him down or say goodbye.  She pushed witches and wizards out of her way as she barreled towards the stairwell.  People were jumping to get out of the way and a nurse even tipped over a cart full of medical supplies.  Hermione didn’t care though.  She had only one focus and that was getting to Draco in time. 

The stairwell door came into view and she ran dead ahead for it, throwing her arms in front of her to hit the opening bar.  As her body slammed into the door, it opened with a great crash and banged against the wall behind it.  Hermione didn’t stop.  She had five flights of stairs to climb and she didn’t have time to even take a breath.  Images of the time she spent with Draco flashed through her mind as she ran.  Draco helping her make dinner.  Draco’s arms zig-zagged with angry red lines.  Draco at the zoo with her children.  Draco sticking up for her against Ron.  Draco holding her hair as she cried and threw up.  Draco kissing her in the living room.  Draco making love to her.  Draco. Draco. Draco. _Draco_.

With a lurch, her heel gave way and Hermione slammed headfirst into the steps.  Her head cracked off the edge of a step and her vision ran red.  Turning into herself, Hermione finally felt how breathless she was from her race to get to the roof.  She was bleeding profusely from a large gash along the side of her head.  Gagging, she braced herself on her hands and knees.  If she’d had anything to eat it would have been all over the floor. Sobs wracked her frail body as she attempted to stand up.  “I have to get up.  Get up!” She screamed at herself kicking away her useless shoes.  “ _Only one flight to go…_ ”

Somehow, Hermione managed to right herself and rub the blood out of her right eye.  Taking one quick, shallow breath to steady herself, she began to climb the last flight of stairs.  It was much slower as she was nearly at her breaking point, but a moment later she saw the roof door in front of her.  She’d made it.  Finding inner strength, Hermione went for the door, not knowing what she may find on the other side.  Pushing it open, Hermione’s wild, tangled hair was whipped behind her as the wind gusted fiercely.  She squinted into the grayness and shut the door behind her, barely making a sound as it clicked into place. 

Quickly, Hermione stepped into the open area of the roof and looked from side to side.  She stopped dead when she saw where Draco was.  There, on the flimsy ledge of the roof Draco stood with his arms wide and eyes closed as he tilted his head towards the sky.  Not wanting to startle him, Hermione moved as quickly and quietly as possible.  Fear gripped her as she watched the wind whip up around him causing his loose, white shirt to fly about.  If he fell forward there would be no saving him this time.  She was too far away still—he would fall and be lost forever.  Swallowing roughly, she ignored the tears streaming down her face as she ran a few steps forward.  Rain was beginning to fall, but she ignored the cold drops as they began to mix blood with her tears.  She had to do something and quick. 

“Draco!”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“ _Draco_!”

His name echoed in his head.  It was louder than the pain and fear gripping him and he slowly opened his eyes just as the rain began to fall more steadily.  Blinking, Draco tried to figure out if the voice was in his head or behind him.  He swallowed thickly and slowly turned his head just enough to see behind him.

 _Hermione_.

She had come after all.  She had come for him.  He couldn’t hold it back anymore.  Draco loved Hermione more than life.  She had come for him and that meant she still loved him too.  But—but something was wrong.  There was blood…too much blood flowing down from a gash in the side of her head.  No…she wasn’t supposed to be hurt.  She was supposed to be healthy and happy.  He opened his mouth to call out to her but a clap of thunder distracted him causing him to stumble.  Dropping his arms from the air beside him, he tried to get his balance.  It was raining harder now and his foot slipped as he tried to turn around and get to Hermione. 

His eyes lifted and caught hers—the terror he felt was reflected back at him from her brown eyes.  The rain continued to pour down…dragging him with it. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Draco!  _Noo_!”

Hermione ran forward as fast as she could, fighting through the rain and the sobs that still radiated from her chest.  Draco was flailing and falling and she had to stop it _right now_!  The rain pounded the rooftop as her bare feet slapped against it.  Inches, Draco was inches from her as she flung her arm up and grabbed hold of his soaked white shirt.  His arms were floundering but she tugged with all her might, the damp fabric giving slightly under her grip.  Then he was falling, falling, falling…but not backwards—forwards into her arms.

They landed roughly on the roof and Hermione shivered when a bolt of lightning lit up the darkening sky.  Draco was breathing heavily and crying, or was that her?  Both of them.  It was both of them.  She cradled Draco to her chest and slid arms around him as she struggled to get them into a sitting positon against the roof ledge.  She was shaking and bleeding but it didn’t matter anymore.  Draco was safe here in her arms.  She had him now.  It was going to be alright. 

After their breathing had calmed, Hermione let go of Draco and cupped his face in her hands.  Her heart raced as his eyelids opened and revealed those silver debts she’d missed so _damn_ much.  She rubbed her thumbs across his cheeks like she’d done with Rose a couple months ago.  She wanted to kiss him, but it wasn’t the time.  She had to know why…why the bloody hell he had come up here.

“Draco, why…why would you come back up here?  Are you missing Astoria?  _Please_ you have to talk to me.  You have to tell me so I can make it better for you…”

Before she could prattle on some more, Draco reached out and gently touched the spot on her head where she’d hit it off the stairs.  She watched as compassion filled his eyes and he dropped his hand to cup her cheek.  Her hands slowly dropped from his face to hold his shoulders as she involuntarily tipped her head to fill his palm. 

“Hermione…” He cleared his throat and tried again.  “Hermione, I didn’t come up here because I was missing Astoria…I came up here because I’m a broken mess without you.  I came up here because I was missing _you_ …I couldn’t take the pain anymore.”

Another sob escaped Hermione’s mouth and her hand came up to cover it.  Fresh tears broke free from her eyes mingling with the blood and the rain as she grabbed onto Draco’s shirt once more.  “I’m here, Draco.  I’m _here_ …and I’m not going anywhere.  We can be together now.  You’ll see…everything is going to be fine…”  the pain was starting to become persistent in her head as well as the other parts of her body that’d been hit the most during her fall. 

“I love you, Hermione,” Draco whispered.  “I never stopped.  When I’m with you, I feel whole.”  His face crumpled and he covered it with his free hand as he openly cried. 

Despite the rain pouring down or the blood still running from her head wound, Hermione lunged forward and grasped Draco behind his head, bringing his face to hers and kissing him roughly.  It was just as she remembered.  His lips were soft, but rough as they moved against hers.  His hands tangled in the hair at the base of her neck as he carefully avoided her wound.  She kissed him until she could no longer breathe and then gently untangled herself. 

“I love you too, Draco. Please, _please_ don’t leave me again…”

“I won’t,” he muttered quietly, shaking his head.  “I know now that it’s you who is meant to make me whole again.  I will _always_ love Astoria, but I’m meant to be with _you_ now.”

Hermione nodded her head and pulled Draco into her arms once more.  “We have to get you inside.  You need to calm down now…”  He was shaking so badly, Hermione was afraid he was going into shock—which wouldn’t be surprising.  She was startled when she heard a small laugh come from the man held in her arms.

“I think you are the one who needs medical attention, Hermione.”

Blinking twice, she realized he was right.  Her head was pounding and she was feeling a bit dizzy.  She didn’t even protest when Draco stood, dragging her with him.  He held her up when she winced at the pain in her ankle.  She must have sprained or even broken it when the heel broke on her shoe.  Leaning against the man she loved, she allowed Draco to help her through the rain towards the roof door. 

Before they went back down into the hospital, Hermione took a look around.  This is where it all had started for them.  Both Hermione and Draco had a lot of emotional trauma to deal with, but they would get through it together this time.  Together, they would let it all go—all the pain and problems of the past.  Then they could take their broken pieces and make each other whole once more.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please look forward to the epilogue. Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment.


	15. Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   
>  “You can finally feel the wind when it blows.  
> Don't be scared to be free, to let go.”  
> —Sean Kingston  
> . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright folks…this is it! The very last installment of Letting it all Go. First I would like to thank those of you who kept up with it all these years and put up with my lagging updates. Secondly, I want to thank the new readers, followers, and favorite-rs! I am so blessed to have your support. I also want to make a special thank you to those that took the time to review. While there may not be many of you, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words of encouragement. I hope that I have done this story justice for you! This chapter is something I have had planned since the beginning just like the last one. Anyway, I don’t want to ramble too much, but enjoy and please review when you finish! Also, for those of you patiently waiting for me to update Renewal, I promise I will be getting to that shortly. However, I should mention, I will be writing a Loki/Hermione fic for NaNoWriMo this year, so Renewal may have to wait until December. Okay, onto the epilogue (Which does contain a bit of smutty smutness)!!

Hermione felt it was perfectly acceptable to wake up like this every damn day of her life if that was possible. She smiled slowly and mumbled a groggy, “Good morning,” as Draco crawled out from underneath the blankets. He dragged his hands along her thighs and took her lips in a sensuous kiss. She could taste the remnants of herself on his soft lips and oh if that didn’t make her even more thrilled to be waking up with this glorious, glorious man. Draco laughed throatily and spread her legs apart as he slid further up her body, positioning himself at her dripping core. 

“Good morning, Mrs. Malfoy.” He smirked before thrusting forward. Hermione threw her head back with a grunt as he filled her up. It was hard to believe the whirlwind her life had become this past year, but it was worth every lovely second. She mewled softly as her husband withdrew and pushed back inside of her. She ran her hands up his back and down his arms before deciding it was better to clutch at the sheets as she felt herself nearing that oblivion once more. 

Knowing his wife was close, Draco angled his body in just the right way to help her over that edge. As she yelled out his name, he dropped his head against her damp shoulder and pumped a few more time before he too was lost. When he was finished, he rolled off to the side bringing Hermione with him. She cuddled into the crook of his arm and sighed happily. If he was being truly honest with himself, Draco had never been this happy in his entire life. The couple was just regaining their breath when the alarm went off. Draco grumbled and turned to bury his face in Hermione’s disheveled curls, while she giggled and turned the blasted thing off. 

“You make a much better alarm clock, dear husband.” She laughed and began extracting herself from Draco’s clutches. Padding across the lush carpet of the master bedroom in the new Malfoy Manor, she looked back over her shoulder to find Draco staring at her haughtily. “If you hurry, we may have time for a longer than normal shower before we get Hugo to King’s Cross…” She let the desire in her eyes do the talking, along with the sway of her hips as she entered the master bathroom and set about getting the marble shower started. It wasn’t more than a few seconds before she heard the hurried footsteps of Draco entering the room. Draco threw her over his shoulder as she squealed with laughter and excitement before plunging them into the now hot shower. Yes, Hermione most definitely would not mind waking up this way for the rest of her life. 

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Scorpius was helping Hugo with the coffee pot when Hermione and Draco entered the kitchen after their shower. Hermione’s skin was still a bright pink, which was accentuated by the white sundress she had decided to wear. Draco sat at the marble counter and laced his fingers together in front of him as he watched his sons struggle with the Muggle appliance. Hermione stood behind Draco, hands resting lightly on his shoulder that were covered in a soft, blue cotton t-shirt. “Good morning, boys,” she greeted smiling as Scorpius successfully poured himself a cup of coffee. 

Scorpius turned around and smiled at her. “Morning. I was fine with tea, but I know how you and father enjoy coffee first thing in the morning.” He gestured to the two of them with a smirk that was nearly identical to the one his father usually wore.

Hermione walked around and poured two steaming mugs and fixed them how they liked before placing one in front of Draco. She stayed leaning against the counter and watched as Hugo tucked into a large bowl of cereal. “Hungry this morning, Hugo?” 

Hugo mumbled something incoherent over the amount of food in his mouth to which Hermione made a disgusted face. Scorpius leaned over and whispered, “That’s his third bowl, by the way.” Then, he glided away around to the side of the kitchen to finish preparing his lunch in a very Slytherin-like manner. Draco and Hermione’s eyes met across the room, both reminded of their old Potion’s master for a moment. 

“Hugo, don’t you want to save room for the treats on the train?” Hermione asked sipping at her coffee, hiding a smile behind the brim of the cup. Draco merely chuckled and added a bit more cream to his own mug. 

“Honestly,” Hugo began, setting his spoon down, “With my Head duties, I probably won’t have much time for anything else.” Hermione let the pride show on her face—both her children, no, make that all three of her children, were Head’s at Hogwarts. Hugo looked a bit sad for a moment before laughing and standing to take his emptied bowl to the sink. “No, I’m sure I’ll be able to get a few Chocolate Frogs!” They all shared a laugh at that. Hermione went to stand next to her husband once more.

“We should think about leaving soon if we want time to say goodbye to everyone before the train leaves.” Draco reminded them all before downing the rest of his coffee and levitating the empty cup to the sink. Scorpius set his lunch on the counter and stepped back, examining Hermione and Draco before his eyes grew wide.

“You didn’t!” he shouted slapping his hands down on the counter in excitement as a large grin grew on his pale face. Hugo stopped mid-step on his way to the hallway to get his trunk ready. He glanced back and forth between the couple who were speechless and looked towards Scorpius.

“What?”

“You two did not do what I think you did!” He motioned towards the glittering, new ring on Hermione’s hand before letting his smile turn into a smirk. “She’s going to be furious, you know.”

Draco had stood and put his arm around Hermione’s shoulders as they faced off their two boys. Hugo was turning his head back and forth between them all, his shaggy, red hair bouncing. “What happened and who is going to be so mad about it?” Hugo hated not knowing something.

Hermione turned to her son, and gestured for him to have a seat. Hugo gave her a sideways look, but plopped down at the table. “Hugo, I know we didn’t really discuss it with any of you, but Draco and I went and got married yesterday. We leave for our honeymoon this afternoon.” She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

Instead of appearing angry, Hugo jumped from the chair and enveloped his mother in a warm hug. Hermione raised her eyebrows at Draco behind his back before she returned the hug. “Mum, I am so happy for the both of you. We’ve known this was coming for quite some time.” He let her go and went to shake Draco’s hand. “Welcome to the family, Draco.”

Draco smirked. “Thank you. We really do need to go, though.” He gestured towards the hallway as Scorpius sidled up to Hermione. He gave her a quick hug before leaning against the doorframe.

“You do realize Rose is going to throw a fit that she wasn’t involved in the wedding, right?” Hermione and Draco gave each other an uneasy look. “Anyway, enjoy your honeymoon. I’ll hold the Manor down while you’re away!” With that said, he slinked out of the room, said goodbye to Hugo, and left the Manor for work. 

“That boy is your clone, you know.”

Draco pecked Hermione on the cheek. “No, he has his mother’s gentleness and heart.” A glimmer of sadness flicked through his icy blue eyes before Hermione stole another kiss from his lips.

“You’re right, Draco.” With a gentle smile she took his hand and led him to the front living room where Hugo was ready by the fireplace with his trunk. “Are you all set, Hugo,” she asked as she checked her purse to make sure she had everything. Draco had assured her that their luggage would be sent to their honeymoon destination ahead of their arrival this afternoon. 

With an exasperated sigh, Hugo dragged his trunk into the awaiting fireplace. “Yes, Mum!” Hermione merely smiled and handed her son some floo powder. A moment later, he had disappeared in a swirl of green fire as he was transported to the Leaky Cauldron. The three of them would be walking to King’s Cross from there. 

“Scorpius will send him everything he forgot, won’t he?” Hermione asked Draco as they squeezed into the fireplace together.

“Of course he will.” Draco replied with a laugh before shouting, “Leaky Cauldron,” and they too were transported by the green flames. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

Hermione and Draco stood together in the hustle and bustle that was Platform 9 and 3/4. Hugo was off storing his trunk in the Head’s compartment and looking for the Head Girl. Many people waved and said hello as they passed by the happy couple. Hermione took in the sight as she normally would. Ron and Padma, newly wed themselves, would not be joining them this year, however, as they were busy in Paris—Ron with the joke shop and Padma with her writing. Draco tapped Hermione on the arm and pointed out Harry and Ginny coming towards them in the distance.

When the Potter’s stopped in front her their friends, Ginny gave each of them a brief hug before stepping back to allow Harry to do the same. “Hey, you two! Here we are again.” Ginny smiled sadly. “Not long before we’re done doing this…”

Harry wrapped a comforting arm around his wife’s shoulders. “Just think of all the grandchildren we have to look forward to.” He nodded at Draco with a smirk. “I heard from James that Scorpius and Alice have been getting quite serious. We might be hearing wedding bells in the near future.” Ginny laughed, as did Hermione, who turned to see her husband’s reaction. 

Draco bristled, but did not look angry. “Alice Longbottom…who would have thought a Malfoy could fall in love with a Longbottom.” He shook his head in mock exasperation, but he could not keep the mirth from his eyes completely. 

“Some could say the same about a Malfoy falling in love with a Granger” Ginny giggled. “I’m certain Neville is in just as much shock as you are that his daughter managed to find love with a Malfoy.” Ginny prodded the Slytherin Prince in the shoulder causing him to huff at her indignantly. “What are those two up to these days anyway?”

Straightening his back, Draco beamed with pride. “Alice, as you know, takes after her father when it comes to Herbology. Well, she and Scorpius are going to travel the world together. Scorpius is training to become a Potion’s Master and they plan on opening an Apothecary together, eventually.”

Hermione intertwined her fingers with Draco’s. “So, no time just yet for weddings and grandchildren.” The four shared a laugh. “Have either of you seen or heard from Rose yet?” Hermione asked.

Both shook their heads, but Ginny added, “I thought I heard James mention she might be going into work early today when he was over for dinner last night, but I thought she had planned on being here to say goodbye to Hugo.”

“That’s what I thought too,” Hermione started to say, tucking a stray curl behind her ear with her left hand. She didn’t get to continue because her ginger haired friend snatched the hand into her own so quickly that Hermione was yanked closer to her with a yelp. A few bystanders glanced their way causing Harry and Draco to smile at them awkwardly until they looked away.

“Why you sneaky, sneaky snake!” Ginny hissed, glancing up at Draco, her brown eyes flashing mischievously. “You put a ring on it!”

“What?” Draco asked, seriously.

“Never mind,” Hermione said taking her hand back from her friend. “We, uh, we have some good news…” She was looking back and forth between her two best friends trying to gauge whether or not they were really mad. 

It was Harry that moved first—surging forward and sweeping her into his arms, swinging her in a circle like he had done many times before. Hermione immediately felt the tension leave her body, the chaos of the train station fading away. “Oh, Hermione this is great! Congratulations!” Harry placed her gently back on the ground and then turned to Draco, his hand offered out. Draco only quirked an eyebrow for a second before accepting the handshake—and was then pulled into a large bear hug of his own.

“Let go of me, Potter,” he managed through tight lips—that were trying very hard to keep a smile off of them. “Don’t cause a scene.”

“Too late,” Ginny muttered watching as Lily and Hugo came running over.

“What’s going on,” Lily questioned staring back and forth between the older Wizards. “Is everything okay?” She looked genuinely worried. Ginny smoothed down her hair.

“Everything is fine, darling. Your Aunt has some exciting news--”

“Mum and Draco got married,” Hugo shouted causing his cousin to jump and even more people to turn and look at them.

“Quiet, Hugo, I don’t think they heard you across the Pond.” Hermione scolded her son. 

The boy ducked his eyes, but remained smiling. “Sorry, mum.” Lily giggled at her cousin’s antics before coming forward and hugging her aunt.

“That’s fantastic! Draco is one lucky man.” She let go of her aunt and aimed a wink at Draco. Draco’s cheeks took on a tiny hint of pink. Lily’s face fell as she looked back and forth. “Where’s Rose?”

“Running late, it seems,” Hermione answered with a frown of her own. “We were hoping to tell her before everyone else found out and somehow it got back to her.”  
Lily’s laugh echoed through the station. “She is going to be furious when she finds out you two got married without her knowing! You know she hates being the last to know!”

“Hush, Lily,” Ginny said swatting at her daughter playfully. Draco and Harry exchanged nervous looks. They knew all too well how Rose could react to being left out of something. Hermione’s last birthday party had been a perfect example of that. “I’m sure Rose will be fine when she hears the news…”

“When I hear what news?”

“Rose!” 

Rose jumped hearing everyone shout her name. She tucked herself between Lily and Ginny, grinning widely. “Sorry I’m late, folks. Had a last minute article to run for this afternoon’s edition of the paper.” Turning her attention to her mother and Draco, she turned serious. “Do you have something to tell me?”

The newlyweds exchanged nervous looks before Draco took Hermione’s hand in his. “Rose, as you know, things with your mother and I have been getting quite serious lately.” He smiled as he glanced at the bushy haired woman next to him. Hermione smiled up at her lovely husband, encouraging him to keep going. “Well, yesterday, we decided to finally make things official…” He seemed to lose his nerve so he differed to Hermione.

Taking over seamlessly, Hermione, never letting go of Draco’s hand, took Rose’s hand in her free one. “We went to the Ministry and got married, Rosebud.” 

Everyone turned to gauge Rose’s reaction. For half a minute, there was only silence, excluding the sounds of the goings on around them. Rose seemed to be taking it all in, looking back and forth between her mother and her new step-father. To everyone’s relief, a large grin broke out on the fair skinned woman’s face. Rose crossed her arms across her chest and shrugged.

“I know.”

Hermione’s smiled faltered, just a smidge. It was Draco who spoke up, wanting to know how she knew. “How did you find out?”

“A magician never reveals their secrets,” Hugo bellowed, thrusting his fist into the air. Lily groaned and jumped, grabbing his arm, and returning it to his side. “Quiet,” she hissed in his ear as a family stopped right behind them, eavesdropping. 

“Well, my informant at the Ministry mentioned you had stopped by yesterday. I did some digging, and sure enough, there it was—your marriage license.” Glancing at her bright pink fingernails, inspecting them for imperfections, Rose added, “I love that marriages are a public record. It makes it much easier to dig up information for an article.”

Her family continued to stare at her in shock, so Rose dropped the act and confessed. “And, well, daddy told me.”

Confusion showing on her face, Hermione shook her head. “Ron told you? How in the world did he know?”

Rose’s smile grew again. She looked to Draco. “Do you want to tell her, or should I?”

With a sigh, Draco turned and decided to come clean. “I went to talk to Weasley before asking you to marry me.” The pink tint was back on those pointed, pale cheeks of his. 

“Really?” Harry whispered behind his hand towards Ginny. Ginny’s mouth was hanging agape, Hugo was laughing silently with tears rolling from his eyes, and Lily was hugging herself as if she was going to combust from an overload of cuteness. 

Hermione launched herself into Draco’s arms. “That is so completely romantic. Thank you.” She kissed him on the cheek. “What made you want to do that?”

Clearing his throat, Draco shrugged and tried to regain his cold façade. “Well, he came and talked to you before he and Padma got engaged. I felt it was only fair…”

Rose sidled up to her newest family member. “And thanks to you, I was able to write the article of the year about the wedding of the year!”

Draco smirked and nodded at Rose. “You’re quite welcome. Are you sure you’re a Gryffindor?” They all shared a laugh at that. 

“So that’s where you’ve been all morning,” Hugo said just as the whistle on the train blew, indicating it was time for everyone leaving to get on board or be left behind. 

“Yes, now you better get going!” 

Kisses and hugs were dished out between the families and then Lily and Hugo were boarding, and the five adults were watching as the Hogwarts Express chugged out of Platform 9 and ¾ on its way to Hogwarts once again. 

After the train had gone, Rose turned and kissed her mother on the cheek. “Have fun on your honeymoon. I hear Eagle Island is beautiful this time of year.” She winked and Disapparated leaving Hermione and Draco standing there opened mouthed.

“That girl is going to be bigger than Rita Skeeter ever hoped to be.” Draco muttered.

Laughing, Ginny patted Draco on the shoulder. “She certainly is the best journalist I’ve encountered in my time working at the Prophet. So are you two leaving right from here?”  
Hermione shook her head. “We have one more stop before we go.”

Nodding, Ginny took Harry’s hand. “Well, have a lovely trip,” Harry began. “Let us know when you get back. We can all have dinner.”

“Thanks, Potter. We will.” 

Harry and Ginny exited the Platform via the magical barrier. Hermione and Draco watched the platform empty for a few more minutes before Hermione turned and looked up into her husband’s eyes. “Are you ready?”

Stealing a kiss from her plump lips, Draco let his forehead rest against hers before whispering, “Yes.”

With a loud ‘POP’ the couple vanished from sight. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

Ten minutes later, found Draco and Hermione walking up a worn path. There were trees and shrubbery covered in flowers surrounding them, and shielding most of the tombstones from view. Hand in hand, the pair made their way to the edge of the Wizarding cemetery. The wind whistled through the trees and kicked up the scent of the flowers so that the atmosphere was anything but frightening. In fact, it was more comforting on this particular day. Arriving at their destination, Hermione squeezed Draco’s hand and allowed him to move forward on his own. She did not say anything as he let go of her hand and stepped forward, bending down to place a bouquet of pink roses on his departed wife’s grave. 

“Astoria,” he began, “I hope you like the roses. I know they were always your favorite.” He sighed and let his head fall towards the ground, strands of blond hair tickled his forehead. “I know that this is the first time since you were laid to rest that I have been back here, but I needed to come and talk to you…finally.” The wind blew and Draco caught the scent of the roses—a reminder of the perfume Astoria had always worn. It encouraged him to keep going. “Things haven’t been the easiest for me since your passing. With the help of Hermione, doctors, and my new set of friends, I have been able to work through some of my inner demons. Each day it gets easier and easier to live without you.”  
Stopping to glance back at Hermione quickly, he inhaled deeply. “In fact, Hermione has been the biggest help of all. We fell in love while she guided me come to terms with your death…and now, now we’re married and ready to start a life together of our own. But—well, I had to come and tell you before it felt okay to just move completely on without you.” Swallowing back the tears that were threating to fall, Draco tried to get the rest of his words out. “With her help, I’m able to let go of what happened. I will always love you, Astoria, but I know now that Hermione is the one I am to be with. And as sad as I am that you are gone, and that you went the way you did, I am thankful that you helped bring us together. I thank you every day for changing me from the Muggle hating man I was into the compassionate man I have become. I also thank you for giving me Scorpius. You would be so proud of him. He has found himself a beautiful, strong, and brilliant woman of his own and they’re going to change the Wizarding world with their creations. We miss you, though.” Draco swiped a few stray tears away.

Hermione walked forward to stand behind Draco. He rose, allowing himself to seek her warmth and comfort. “We love you,” he finished and then turned into Hermione, allowing his face to disappear into her waves of curls. 

The wind picked back up and a few rose petals drifted into the air. Hermione smiled as they danced around them as if Astoria, herself, was talking to them. “I’ll take care of them both, Astoria. I promise.” The wind wrapped its warm embrace around Draco and Hermione a moment more before vanishing completely. 

They began their walk back out of the cemetery, not speaking, but letting the silence comfort them. When they stopped outside the gates, Draco cupped Hermione’s cheek and placed a gentle kiss to her lips. Hermione let her hands drift into his soft, blond hair. Each day they would have to battle their demons, but for the most part, they were finally free of everything that had held them back for so long. With the future wide open in front of them, the past could be left in the past. Disapparating to Eagle Island to begin their new life together, Draco and Hermione were finally letting it all go. 

End.

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End file.
